TER is a boys club. Its for men, by men. (Us ladies just happen to be able to use it for our advertising and we have our own lil private board to hang out on.) So reviews need to be somewhat graphic, yes. Doesn't mean you can't still word things in a way to keep it respectful. But you definitely need to include what services were performed. It helps the next guy decide whether to see her. The scoring system itself is very subjective and open to interpretation since everyone has different opinions on looks and performance, but by including lots of details in the review it definitely helps.
References:
Are generally mandatory, and a standard practice. It may be weird to you, being new, but for everyone else its normal. References serve a very important purpose for us ladies- By checking with other women you have visited with, it lets us know that #1, you aren't a cop. And #2, that based on your history so far, you aren't going to rob us, assault us, short us, completely stiff us, have good hygiene, are not an ass, and are generally an all around pleasure to deal with.
Of course there are always those bitches that are territorial, and like to keep clients to themselves, and don't give references. Or threaten to out clients, throw fits, or otherwise act shady and unprofessional so that they can keep a guy to themselves. But those of us that are professional, have class, common sense, value ours and other ladies safety, and understand that this is a business and that a guy is free to see or not see who he likes, when he likes- we have no problem giving references. You don't necessarily have to contact a lady to ask her first, but its polite and respectful, absolutely. And can help speed up the process is she knows ahead of time to keep an eye out for a reference request.
I'd recommend that you visit the Newbie Board, as you can ask questions there, as well as read up on important info. Theres also a link there to the newbie guide. Lots of helpful info.