Suddenly I feel like a innocent virgin again.... I have not actually dated for 9 years..  
Maybe I am smarter now or just pick or both..

You should have put out by 3 at the latest. I wonder if I am the only one who sees the irony in all of this. You will fuck a stranger for an envelope containing cash, but not to a guy who is wining and dining you on four occasions. Surely he spent more then your donation amount on these "dates".

Depends on motives......most (if not all) guys are thinking with their head (the one between their legs).  Now, if a guy is really not interested in moving things along with a female because he is either not attracted to her or realizes the relationship has no potential, he would either just end the date quickly or try his damnest to get the girl in bed as quickly as possible.  Then leave never to see her again.

I am seeking something with a bit more substance then a meal, A good Fuck and some wine..  
I can get that right here..

It all depends on how things unfold in the relationship.  I never push for sex, just not my nature.

Panthera may be a bit rough around the edges, but he is a refreshing antidote to the constant white knighting around here.  

If a guy is interested in you for possibly more than a "hit and run just for fun" he'll wait until after the third date to make a move.

But even thou most have heard of it, it doesn't mean you have to follow it.

Maybe he was VERY attracted to you. Did you talk to him about what you are looking for before you get intimate?

Are you really attracted to him? I suspect some of us ladies tend to be stricter when trying to have a personal relationship because we are intimate from the get go in this world here.

Are you being too hard on him? Is he worth talking to about it? There was something about him you liked and vice versa or you wouldn't have made it to the 4th date. sounds like your guys has heard of the "3 date rule" and was following it.

Just something to think about.

xoxo,

Steph

-- Modified on 8/1/2013 12:18:42 PM

The most of the men here don't have the same mind set as men that have never done "this" before.

Men get "spoiled here" at least if the lady is good at what she does. It's instant gratification.

But if you read my post below, I'm not surprised he got frustrated when he got a no on 4 date.

And unlike here is this world, a man looking for a long term relationship with a woman will wait a little longer if he is truly interested in more than a role in the hay.

And not all civvie dates have to be expensive. It can be pizza and a movie, a picnic or a romantic night including fine dining. And most men who know nothing of this world don't keep a running tab on how much money he's spent before the lady "puts out" unless he's a jerk.

And as Helen Gurley Brown, owner of Cosmopolitan magazine said, "Never sleep with a man on the first date...unless you really want to!"

It's a dance people play in civvie dating and the dance can be a lot of fun.


Steph

you still make me laugh, even though...............................

'The most of the men here don't have the same mind set as men that have never done "this" before.'
'And unlike here is this world, a man looking for a long term relationship with a woman will wait a little longer if he is truly interested in more than a role in the hay.'

Oh god... You're over here now?

and find it hard to wait when back in the civvie world.

And I doubt ladies that date in the civvie world sit there keeping a cost benefit analysis on things like shopping for new clothes to wear, beauty products, hair and nails appts, maybe having a man over and cooking a nice meal, and some that date and have small children need to hire a sitter, ect when deciding how much effort and $$ to spend when dating a man.

And I was born at night but not last night so one thing I'm not is naïve. If a man approaches dating with the mindset 'how much am I going to have to spend to get in her pants", he not looking for a serious relationship, sorry. And the fact that you think this way...and you are here, well um, nuff said.

For me personally I know before the 2nd date whether I want to have sex with a man. It's whether I want to act on it that takes me a little longer.

And reversing the roles. I've heard it said many times by ladies who date in their personal lives, that they have to get used to not seeing an envelope when dating, ME included, lol . Yep, this world does change a person's perspective.

IMO once you've entered "this world" you have to work harder in the civvie world to maintain a relationship. It's just so easy when things get a little stale to trot right back here because you can. And if YOU don't think that's true you are naïve.

Steph

I believe the general rule is three dates before you have sex.  However I can see women like us wanting to wait longer than that.  Dating is hard as it is nowadays with so many men looking for the easy "friends with benefits" situation.  A lot of them want all the benefits of dating without having to put the work in.  I kind of blame it on the "instant gratification" mindset that permeates our society today.  It's so hard to find a man that isn't just interested in sex.  I think it feels worse being an escort when you sleep with a guy and then you hear the whole "I'm not interested in a relationship but we can be fuck buddies" because you are thinking to yourself damn that was a waste of time, I could have been making money instead of hanging out with this douche bag.  I tend to find hobbyist for the most part treat me better then men I go on dates with anyways.  If a man is interested in more than sex he will be respectful and not try to beg for it.  Good for you cutting that guy loose.

Rest were either pretentious, bashing or both. Consider this is not 1970’s, rules have changed.

Why do you think busy men hang out here and seek instant gratification? LACK OF TIME. I don’t know how many men here get to work at 8AM and Leave at 5 PM, haven’t been able to do that schedule for the last 10 years.

It's different in hobbyland, it's much more of an equal trade.  I'm talking about the men who expect sex and don't want to give anything in return.  It's different when the sex is actually good but most of the time it isn't.

The people that are too busy for relationships put that constraint on themselves.  If they lie in order to get sex then maybe they should be paying for it in the first place.

Did you feel sorry for him because of his looks? His economic situation? His awkwardness?

Posted By: JuliasLilSecret

I need to know what I'm working with because sex is going to be the first priority in my relationship, followed very closely by intelligence and character.  My ex husband was brilliant and had great character, but the sex sucked...and not in a good way.  Never again.  Sex is a must, as are the other 2...they will all have be present.  But I'm not going to get all emotionally attracted to a man only to find out the bedroom area will be lacking.  No thank you.    But I'm also on a dating sabbatical for the next 10 years, so what do I know?  This is WAY more fun!  =P    
   
 As for guys getting laid on the first date and never being heard from again...someone please tell the last civvie date I had and gave a sympathy blow job to 9 months ago to stop calling and texting me.  
   
   

Posted By: mistressjessica

Suddenly I feel like a innocent virgin again.... I have not actually dated for 9 years..    
  Maybe I am smarter now or just pick or both..  
     
  I went out with a guy a couple of time and by date 3 He is ready for me to go back to his place and get our groove on.. I declined.. Date 4 he was more insistent and down right Pissy because I declined again.. There was no date 5.. I stopped answering his calls...    
     
  Guys, Girls.. Is there really a rule about this kind of thing?  
  I just kind of figured when I felt the urge it would happen.. No pressure........

Most recently we had about 7 dates in 2 weeks, I figured something would be happening soon and low and behold one night out of the blue she says "are you going to take me to bed?"

-- Modified on 8/1/2013 5:00:17 PM

There is no rule about when anyone should do something they do not want to do or are not ready to do. It was right for you to feel like you could take things slow AND to be honest, it was right for him to want it sooner. Its just two different people who did not meet the same accord.  

You are the biggest jerk on this board and from what I have seen you have had nothing positive to say to any of the ladies here. I see you do not have a PM so I cannot send this message to you personally. Do you have any reviews, or are you just a member who enjoys putting women down?

I totally disagree. I do not believe in sex on the first date and I cannot believe I am hearing it here.  I have dated so many different people and the most interesting ones were the ones who wanted to get to know me as person. From the inside out.

Posted By: JuliasLilSecret

I need to know what I'm working with because sex is going to be the first priority in my relationship, followed very closely by intelligence and character.  My ex husband was brilliant and had great character, but the sex sucked...and not in a good way.  Never again.  Sex is a must, as are the other 2...they will all have be present.  But I'm not going to get all emotionally attracted to a man only to find out the bedroom area will be lacking.  No thank you.    But I'm also on a dating sabbatical for the next 10 years, so what do I know?  This is WAY more fun!  =P    
   
 As for guys getting laid on the first date and never being heard from again...someone please tell the last civvie date I had and gave a sympathy blow job to 9 months ago to stop calling and texting me.  
   
   

Posted By: mistressjessica

Suddenly I feel like a innocent virgin again.... I have not actually dated for 9 years..    
  Maybe I am smarter now or just pick or both..  
     
  I went out with a guy a couple of time and by date 3 He is ready for me to go back to his place and get our groove on.. I declined.. Date 4 he was more insistent and down right Pissy because I declined again.. There was no date 5.. I stopped answering his calls...    
     
  Guys, Girls.. Is there really a rule about this kind of thing?  
  I just kind of figured when I felt the urge it would happen.. No pressure........

Isnt dating all just an experiment to see if  there is real chemistry?  Usually by the third date infatuation kicks in and by the twelfth date reality sets in. Then you wonder what were you thinking. lol

Jessica needs a link to my POF profile. LOL

In that case I agree 100%.  
No place for them any where but we have them in both genders!

Work life these days are tough. Reason why many company’s have Work-Life balance programs. The higher up you go, more hours you have to put in for many reasons.

Word

JLS is SPOT ON in so many ways

You can just forget that. You are too old for me by about 15 years. Cross me off your list  :

is that the guy was getting "pissy" about your not sleeping with him. If he is getting pushy after only four dates, how overbearing will he get in the future? That's how I read it. Time to get a fresh start. There are good guys out there who aren't in a hurry, but you have to "kiss a few frogs" to find the prince out there. Don't give up!

henever I am in the presence of a charming and beautiful woman like yourself, I find myself totally captivated by just her presence. Maybee I'm an old softie, .............. perhaps that's not the right term for this website '''''''''''''''''' but when I'm with a woman that I really care about, I am pulled around by my heart .............. not my dick.                                 That being said, you can't blame a fella .........  
I do ya in a heartbeat myself.  

every ho I know makes the BF work for that first piece of ass.
We want to know its real. its us they like not just the hot ass.
we fuck and suck for $$$ we know we are good we know we can rule them with the best BBBJ swallow greek the whole 9yards. they eventually get the pornstar experience.
we need to know they just arent after the free ass.
and we can take ourselves out to dinner its the point.

I know it sounds crazy but we dont like givin it away...it has to be bought or earned.

5 dates is kind of pushing it in a sexually charged 2013. We all know if we want to sleep with someone within 60 seconds of meeting them. Not saying go run to a gas station restroom or something, but it's not like your looking to marry the guy lol

^^^TRUE

And the big O is bigger. We teach our SO what we like I've never had a friend from here say, "hey, and I'm doing this right?"

He has no reviews.

Don't ever fill out my booking form.

Sex can be taught! Send him to porn star school!

i need sex to be a priority for them as well. i love love love sex and they need to too.

Kelly I realize the odds we will ever go out on a date.

and I would never fill out a booking form on an unsecured website.
Don't flatter yourself. I am very picky on who I see.

Def never gonna' happen with me, lol. If I want it, I go for it, and I doubt the guy is going to say, "no, wait. I'm waiting to make sure you care about me" hahahaha.