Anyone available in Spartanburg tonight?

...to stick my foot up your @ss, or better yet, READ MY POST 3 THREADS ABOVE!

hey jjackflash - you're the @sshole. I didn't ask for your help. The question is aimed at providers who might be available at the last minute. There aren't that many in the Spartanburg area to begin with. So stick your foot up your own ass.

...I mean, you did ask if "anyone" was available.  And since I was "available" for the service of kicking your @ss, I thought I'd offer my help.  If you had other ideas, then you should've been more specific.  Since I'm not limber enough for your request, I'll have to politely refuse it.