Some black guy with a google number is bothering me because I am refusing to see him. I only see white Gentlemen over 35. ( Just my preference) He is threatening to write an untrue & terrible review. I am a low volume provider and rarely see more than 2 guys a day- so I've never encountered this and am kinda stumped as of what to do. Any advice?

I know someone may bash ya for not seeing certain age groups or races. That's just life, I don't find myself attracted to certain age groups or races so I don't shop there. What's the difference? It's you're body not like you're selling the guy car parts so you should be able to choose. He will get tired of calling eventually, if he gives ya a bad review contact ter and get it pulled no biggie.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

The good news is you have posted it here before he posted a bad review so we all know it if bull. Post again if he writes a review to let us know. Have a great day

You've got a half dozen reviews that will stand in stark contrast to any garbage review he might write, and I think most guys who use this board are like me and give little credence to the stray review that is distinctly different from all the rest.  So ignore him and don't worry about it - if he is an active reviewer here then hopefully his blackmail shenanigans will catch up with him as the ladies find out about him.

Most likely he don't even have a ter lol just blacklist him sweetie and ignore him if u have good review one bad review from a race you don't even see won't matter

This board is a powerful tool that can be used. You have taken the first step by posting your issue here. I suspect it is a bogus threat that is meant to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. The other posters are correct ... ignore him. I doubt he has the way to post a review anyway.

What Case said.... ( well said btw)

Sounds like you are dealing with game player.  Those threats should fizzle away once this clown realizes he can't rattle your cage anymore.

Also... If said perp is reading this... Why not see someone that wants to see you.  In this hobby, shouldn't this be a mutually beneficial experience?

Awesome. Thanks for the reply and much agreed. Unfortunately.......there is a certain type of guy that will text and text and text, or call at all hours. Mmmmm....should I do something like send his azz to the wrong address or something? I considered it. I cannot figure out why these guys don't realize that no attraction means no attraction. Why is that SO hard to figure out?

Did he put his threat in writing? If so SAVE it or save any threatening text messages.

I'd contact TER ahead of time just I case. I declined a date with someone once and he threatened to write a bad review. I let TER know and they had me forward his threats and his info I had, including his name and handle. When he tried to submit one it was declined and the light of day.

I don't know what info you have on him though. I get all the info I need to feel comfortable see someone new.

Hope this helps even though I'm not a "fella", lol.

Steph

....then ignore/block him.

Happy New Years.

If he has called ID, let it go to voice mail. You can also call the phone company and ask them to block that number.  

Tell the phone company, you are receiving threatening calls from the number and they have to block it by law.

Take the high road and do not respond because you will just be feeding his bad bullying behavior. He needs to move on. But if you are overly concerned about it notify TER and give them the heads up and then if he does write a review, contact TER to have it pulled. If you haven't already, make sure you put your preference of men up on website and ads so you are only contacted by men you want to see.

xo

Adriana~

If you had only one or two reviews I would say that you should be more concerned.  However, you seem to have a good number of reviews - six or seven, which is more than enough to form a sufficient consensus.  They are all consistently about the same as far as level of service and description of you.  So any potential customer will certainly know what to respect should they decide to seek an encounter with you.  

When I am looking at reviews and the lady in question has a number of reviews I generally trust the consensus of them rather than the outliers.  If a woman has a bunch of reviews that recount a certain level of service or appearance and then has one that is an outlier I tend to disregard it.  

In your case your reviews consistently describe a certain level of appearance and service.  Accordingly, if you had one review that significantly deviated from that - whether it was particularly bad OR particularly good - I would ignore it.  And I think most other hobbyists would too.

Good Luck

Although I wouldn't worry about the review, what you and so many others in this profession who institute these race based preferences are illegal.  Federal law prohibits any race based discrimination in the realm of public accommodations.  Under the law public accommodations include any and all private businesses that offer goods or services to the general public.  This includes entertainment services.  

Escort services are entertainment services whether you intend to engage in sex or not.  And the posting of your ad on Backpage, your website, the ads section of this site, or anywhere else for that matter satisfies the element of offering these services to the general public.  Accordingly, those anti-discrimination laws apply to you.  

Now anyone would be a fool to think that the mere fact that these preferences are illegal would keep you from continuing to discriminate due to them.  That fact has certainly not stopped all of the individuals who are members of this site - no matter what side of the transaction that they are on - from continuing to engage.

But there are consequences if you disregard them.  Under these laws the US Government and possibly even your State Government has the right to sue you for this discrimination.  However, it is unlikely to do so because quite frankly it has bigger fish to fry than that.  But what you should also know is that private citizens can file these lawsuits as well.  And while the monetary damages from such a lawsuit might not be worth it, you should know that the plaintiff, if he prevails, would also be entitled to attorneys fees (which would be substantial) and possibly punitive damages as well.  

What has kept escorts who have these preferences from being sued under this provision in the past is that most times the guy who is excluded from seeing you by these preferences really wants to see you (if you know what I mean) and is not inclined to put himself on blast by filing a lawsuit.  

But it is not that guy you need to worry about.  What you need to worry about is the lawyer who figures out that these cases are like shooting fish in a barrel and by filing them he can with very little to no effort or risk make a lot of money.  

When that guy figures this out, this is how this will go down: He or she will find a good plaintiff, someone above reproach - no prior criminal record, etc.  He will then make copies of all of your ads indicating your "preference" and keep them for evidence.  He will have his plaintiff contact you for services and get it on record that you are refusing to see him because of his race.  If he decides to file the case as a class action he will then have a few other similarly situated plaintiffs contact you as well and get it on record that you refused to see them as well.  After that he may send you a demand letter stating that he is about to file this lawsuit against you but he is willing to settle it outside of court for a cash payment.  This will feel like extortion, but legally its not.  If you refuse to settle he will then file the case publicly outing you as an escort.  This will cause some embarrassment, but the real thing that you need to worry about is that sometimes law enforcement (particularly the Feds) monitor lawsuit filings for the filing of possible criminal charges.  And if they get a hold of it and can tie you to other escorts (perhaps those that you do doubles with) they can charge you all with federal conspiracy.  Assuming that does not happen, though, you still have to deal with the lawsuit.  Based upon your ads alone, which explicitly state your "preference" he will probably be able to win his case on a summary judgment motion in front of a judge that is not likely to have a lot of sympathy for you.  And after that he will get an award of damages.  Now you may say, sue me, because I don't have anything.  But you need to understand that Judgment will be enforceable for an extended period of time.  So not only will you need to not have anything at the time that the Judgment is issued, but you will also effectively be barred from having anything for at least the next decade.  Because if you do the collection agency that the Lawyer sells the judgment to will immediately move to garnish/seize it.  And of course all the while that this Judgment is out there, your credit will be absolutely screwed.

END OF MESSAGE

She doesn't want to, then just get off TER and go ahead and be a pimp. Or write legislation. Both those seem like excellent jobs for someone with the view point that a woman is just a really tall child who needs to be told what to do.

This is NOT wal-mart. You aren't buying an item. Anyone who brings up this argument, IMHO, is a complete asshole who doesn't understand that we are human beings, with preferences, likes, and dislikes. Just like him. I hope that someone who feels this way never contacts me.  

And I fuggin LOVE black guys.

END OF MESSAGE

In your post you say that anyone who says that providers can't discriminate on the basis of race should "write legislation."  The point of my post is that this legislation already exists in the form of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  And there is no exception to these Anti Discrimination Laws based upon the intimacy of the good or service that you provide.  If you provide a service or good - no matter what it is - you cannot discriminate on the basis of race.  That's the law.  Now whether you choose to follow it or not is your business.  Again, if you are providing sex for money it is not as if you are following the law anyway.  

Now this is not to say that you don't have any say over who you provide your services.  If you don't like a guy because you don't like the way he smells, then it is absolutely your legal right not to provide escort services to him.  If you don't like a guy because he's an asshole, then it is absolutely your legal right to refuse to service him.  Hell, if you don't like a guy because you hate blue and he had on a blue shirt, then it is absolutely your legal right to refuse to do business with him.  

But you can't under the law refuse to provide escort services to a customer because of his race, religion, national origin or if he has a disability.  So if you say I'm providing escort services to the general public except for blacks then you are breaking the law.  If you say that I'm providing escort services to everyone but jews you are breaking the law.  If you say that I'm providing escort services to everyone but people from Ireland you are breaking the law.  

The law doesn't say that any business has to provide service to everyone.  It just says that there are certain grounds (like race, religion, national origin, disability, gender, etc.) that you cannot use to refuse to provide service or goods.  For instance, if a person walks into Walmart and based upon their actions Walmart thinks they are stealing from them, Walmart can refuse to do business with them and ban them from their store.  But Walmart cannot say we won't serve blacks even if they believe that blacks are more likely to steal from them. Walmart must make an individualized determination about such a person based upon the specific actions of the person.  They cannot just conclude that a person will act a certain way because of a genetic characteristic.  And if anyone doesn't understand why that is the appropriate way to treat people, then too bad for them.  That's not a conversation that I am going to have.

Now I'm not so naive to believe that this fact is going to change anyone's mind.  Providers who, for whatever reason, are inclined to discriminate on any of these grounds are certainly going to continue to do so.  Just don't think that you have a LEGAL right to do so.

It's not about whether or not it's illegal. The point is that this is not an appropriate situation for that law to be applied, IMO. And suggesting repercussions or flat out forcing a girl to do something with her body that she doesn't want to is something only a pimp or the government would do. That's pretty well documented.  

Maybe I can explain, and please don't take any of this to personally, I'm just talking in general. When someone brings this aspect up, I put them on my personal do not see list. Just because you have the entrance fee in hand doesn't mean you get what you want. Sorry, sometimes that's life, and it happens to all of us. Guys pick and choose girls all day long based on a plethora of things, and all we get is a name, some references, and an email. If she's not comfortable meeting with strange men based on whatever aspect, then that should be her prerogative. We aren't exactly picky to begin with. If she is uncomfortable with an entire group of people, and would rather cut out that income, then its safe to assume that she probably has a good reason. I don't discriminate based on race, but after a close family member passed away, I chose not to see people with a certain illness across the board. Is it wrong that I don't want to relive that, and choose not to upset myself and give someone a bad experience? I would hope no one would want me to be subjected to that, because I would never want that for anyone else. To me, that is the appropriate way to treat people.  

There is also this... Those who really have a problem with this come across as if they would rather make someone unhappy for their own sexual gratification than click the back button. All she is doing is making your search easier. Would you really rather waste your money finding out you're not her type in person? Would you really rather a girl be deeply uncomfortable with her decision to see you? This is why it bothers me so much when guys come on here and push so hard with the "illegal discrimination" stuff. It's creepy, honestly, and I would much rather see someone who wants us both to have fun, than someone who believes he has a right to my body.  

I am far from a mangina queen; I think that gentlemen are often mistreated and judged and I don't like it when a girl does that either. I'm not saying there aren't girls out there who discriminate just because they're ignorant, and I'm not saying that those who do for the wrong reasons are in the right, but that idea in a partner really disturbs me. Maybe it is different from your perspective, but try to see ours as well. There are some things that can be hard for girls in this industry, and it's not always as simple as she's a jerk.

I did read your post.  It said that someone should write legislation if they felt that it was wrong for escorts to discriminate on the basis of race.  And my response was that such legislation has already been written.  It is already against the law.

But now you've chosen another route.  When I originally read your new post I thought that what you were saying is that you don't care if it's illegal, because it's perfectly okay to discriminate.  But now I'm not so sure.  After reading it again it seems that you are saying that you don't care that it's illegal and anybody who dares to bring up the fact that it is illegal is a pushy, whiny douche who doesn't know how to take no for an answer and is immediately placed on your do not see list.

In either event, though it was not the original point of either of my writings, I must disagree.  First, treating someone differently because of something they cannot control is wrong.  If you want to treat someone differently because of their actions, fine.  But discriminating against someone because of their race, where they are from, their gender or even their religion (even though that is something you can control) is wrong.  That's why it is against the law.

You say its wrong to say that escorts cannot discriminate because of race because to see people in those categories makes them uncomfortable.  But I counter that I'm sure that serving blacks at lunch counters during Jim Crow made the owners of those establishments uncomfortable as well.  But that didn't make it okay for them.  And it doesn't make it okay for escorts.

Now you may say "But escorting is different.  It involves an intimate act."   The fact of the matter though is that escorting for the most part really is not that intimate.  For the most part it's just sex.  True intimacy doesn't come from that.  True intimacy is when you let someone in emotionally.  And that seldom if ever TRULY happens in an escorting session.  Because if it did there would be a whole lot more seeing of clients off the books without any pay.  And that ain't happening.  For the most part it's just sex.  And often it is sex with clients who aren't that attractive and who could do a little better about their hygiene.  But despite that, the true pros at this get past their discomfort with their client's physical appearance to provide great service.  Now if a girl can get past that sort of thing she can certainly get past the color of someone's skin.

Now you also seem to imply that it's a good thing that these girls advertise their prejudice - that by doing so they are in fact saving me from finding out later that they really didn't want to see me.  There used to be a time that I saw it that way, but now I see it differently.  What bothers me most about it now is the brazenness of it.  It has become so common, as if now somehow discrimination is okay.  And its not.  

When I look at pictures of the history of discrimination in our society I am most taken aback by the signs that openly proclaim such prejudices.  Throughout the history of this country, businesses would openly and without shame post signs that proclaimed them.  One of the ones that really use to bother me was the one that said "No Irish...or dogs allowed."  These signs would be placed right outside the door of bars, restaurants, hotels, etc. for the entire world to see.  Can you imagine being Irish and having to walk past that bullshit everyday.  Whether you want to favor that establishment with your business or not, having to see that kind of bullshit would have to make your blood boil.  And the reason why is that the owner of that establishment is shouting to the world, whether he intends to or not, that there is something so wrong with Irish people that I don't want anything to do with them.  

Well that is what I see when I constantly see ads by providers that refuse to see people like me who are black.  Now, the fact of the matter is that for the most part I would never want to see the girls who advertise these prejudices even if they kept them a secret.  Generally their reviews are not of the type that would inspire me to want to see them.  But regardless of whether I want to see them or not, being constantly bombarded with these ads that brazenly and openly proclaim prejudice against me is insulting.  By placing them they are announcing to the world their belief that there is something so repugnant about people like me that they don't want to have anything to do with me.  

And the fact of the matter is there is nothing wrong with me.  I am considerate, well educated, and make a decent honest living.  I am told that I am good looking.  And though I feel that I could stand to lose a few pounds I am often told that I am in good shape (even by people who I'm not paying to spend time with me).  I seldom actually participate in the hobby.  I have a wife (and a mistress) that keep me busy.  I don't want to be your pimp - I have enough people in my life to take care of without adding someone else.  And I don't want to rape you.  Despite me being the kind of pushy, whiny douche that points out the illegality of discrimination even by escorts, I know how to take no for an answer.  

But despite having all those things going for me, every time I have to endure someone proclaim their prejudice against me it bothers me.  It insults me.

As you close your last post you ask that I try to see these "preferences" from the girls perspective.  I must admit that although I have tried I really can't.  Rationally, to me, they just don't make sense.  I just don't see how you can prejudge an entire race or group of people to the point that you say I don't want to have anything to do with them.  

In my lifetime I have encountered a lot of people.  And while I have encountered a number of whites who are racists I have never made the mistake of saying that all white people are that way.  In fact I've encountered a lot of white people who have done a lot of bad and illegal things (who have even tried to do those things to me), but again I have never made the mistake of believing that all white people are that way.  And because I have been able to avoid that (prejudging and discriminating against an entire race because of the actions of some members of it), I find it hard to understand or justify others who cannot.

In my line of work I help people when they are most in trouble.  My clients run the full spectrum of races and religions.  I cannot imagine turning away someone who needs my help because they happen to be white

Once again, I am aware that its the law. I don't need a lecture on that part, because its that part of the argument that I take issue with. Those who argue that are essentially saying "even though this is illegal, even though the law doesn't apply anyway, and even though I am meeting you in a potentially uncomfortable situation already, you should be unable to refuse me access to your body and emotions". You are correct that I won't see people who feel that way. I have no interest in those who cannot see me as a human being, and understand that there are just certain boundaries that should not be crossed in this arena for a woman's own mental well being that only she can truly understand.  

I'm going to be honest with you, and I want you to understand that this is NOT how I feel, I am just trying to offer some perspective for those who may still consider that this is not so simple as serving someone lunch.  

The main reason, and the bottom line why you see a lot of girls advertise that they don't want to see black guys is because they just don't make up that much of our client base. Y'all just don't seem to hobby very much in comparison to say, white or Asian guys (in this area). Because of this, it's easy for a girl to go ahead and cut out that group without greatly effecting their income. Indian men often run into the same thing, and honestly, I've never seen a black client treated so poorly as some of my Indian ones when they were told no. If white guys were the hobbying minority, I am sure that you would see just as many "no white guys" ads, because they aren't immune to being jerks either. The difference is that there are so many of them that we have to rely on the black list sites to keep track of them, or else we wouldn't make any money. Price point, review history, volume, and ad location can all have a huge influence on a girls experience here. Negative personal experiences are not limited to any race. Circumstances just change the way they're handled.  

Now, I know it's not pretty to think about, but not everyone has had it easy when it comes to men. Some girls have been pimped, or dealt with abuse, or been raped or robbed. Yes, men of all races do these things. However, sometimes it is a black guy, and this is not the place to try and work through an experience like that. It's something that requires a real professional, not half assed compartmentalization because its the law. And when a girl only gets one or two requests a month from this demographic, she honestly just doesn't have to relive that trauma. You as a man may not have that much to fear by meeting a stranger in a hotel room where maybe only one person knows where you are, but it is very, very different for a girl. This is not always a safe industry, and it's not always an easy job to get up in the morning and do. If a girl has suffered a trauma in her past, then this is the exact kind of situation that could trigger major anxiety or worse. I noticed that you didn't comment on my discrimination of those with disabilities. Yes, that is technically discrimination, but I would hope that no one would want me to think of how awful it was to watch the man who raised me die a slow and painful death while I'm blowing them. It is a cruel person who insists that a girl should be able to put something like that out of her mind simply because of a law.  

You see, we aren't always "just getting laid". Women and men are taught vastly different things about sex from a very early age. YOU might think its all well and dandy because you have the money that she wants, and she has the body that you want, but that's because you as a man have been taught to look at it like that from the very beginning. Even if your mother raised you right, the world around you still has a big influence, and has taught you that as a man, you are entitled to the sex you want. Women on the other hand, are taught an entirely different meaning. Whether you want to believe it, or think about it, we do still struggle sometimes, no matter how liberated being in this line of work might seem to imply that we are. Even the girls who don't see black clients because of nothing but race alone could be dealing with some deep rooted issues that you just can't understand the entire depth of unless you have either walked in those shoes or truly tried. You have an idea because you have experienced your own prejudice, but the kind of things that go through a girls mind after an entire upbringing filled with racism and hate are heartbreaking. We say the meanest things to ourselves sometimes, and it rarely has anything to do with you.  

By insisting that this is such a black and white issue, you ignore how sensitive the situation can be. Essentially, you are pushing for an unhealthy work environment, and that is wrong. No girl should be made to feel less than, and no girl should be subjected to a situation that could shake even the steeliest of us. I understand that it is frustrating to feel discriminated against, we of all people understand, trust me. But, I just cannot support forcing mental anguish on a woman for a guy to have a good time. Yes, she "could" quit if she is that uncomfortable, but how much of your life "could" have been better? I'm betting a lot of it, even if you are doing alright now. It's almost always easier said than done. Things are constantly changing for the better, and I truly hope that one day the girls who won't see men based on racial prejudices alone will become the minority. But until then, I have to stand by the assertion that it is not appropriate to suggest forcing girls with legitimate reasons that they don't want to see someone they don't want to, just to "teach a lesson" or whatever weird thing you want to do with those who are truly ignorant. You, and many others of many different races, obviously cannot take no for an answer, and even as service providers, we have the right to make sure that we aren't actually harming ourselves every time we go to work.  

It really, truly, has nothing to do with you as a person, and everything to do with her. Since you will never know for sure what is going through a providers head, don't waste your time or your energy taking it personally

I'm not trying to force anyone to do anything.  I'm not trying to teach any one a lesson.  And I fully understand that a person's prejudices have far more to do with them than me.  In fact it is because I understand that I don't expect any escort to change her mind based upon anything that I have said.  

What I would like to change, however, is the apparently growing sentiment that such prejudice is okay.  

It does not bother me that a particular escort does not wish to see me for my race.  Because there are far too many high quality escorts who don't to satisfy my hunger in this activity.  Once a particular girl indicates that she doesn't see people of my ilk, she is dead to me.  I would never call her.  Because the second that I read that on her ad she ceases to be attractive to me.  And my self esteem would never let me give money to someone who thought that way about me.  

So don't confuse me with someone who can't take no for an answer, or as someone that is so desperate to taste the forbidden fruit that I must change their minds to agree to see me, or as someone who is so personally aggrieved by such discrimination that I now must make my life's work to humiliate the woman who has rejected me.  I am neither of those things.  

For me discrimination is a part of life.  Despite what others may say, it remains prevalent (as evidenced by this discussion).  And because of the way that it is passed down, will probably always be.  There will always be people who hold and act on these views.  And for many, if not most, of them there is no changing.  and there is no use trying to dissuade them of their beliefs with logic, because they will always be able to find something that happened to them or someone they know to justify their prejudice.  When they are pimped, robbed or abused by a white man, their reaction will be that guy, that one particular guy, is such an insensitive jerk.  But when the same happens to them or they even hear about it happening to someone else at the hands of a black man, their reaction will be ALL black men are like that.  It would be lunacy to think I'm going to change those opinions with someone who thinks that the afore-mentioned reaction is logical or rational.  

Accordingly, my problem with this is not the woman who discriminates.  It is instead the reaction, or lack thereof, of all of the people who say that they don't.  What bothers me is that increasingly people not only think that it is okay, but seem to take pride in the fact that they exclude others.  It is in that environment, where it is deemed socially acceptable, that racism and other prejudice flourish.  

At the end of your post you tell me that I should not take this personally.  I think you probably should take your own advice.  I suspect that the issues that I am raising hit a nerve with you because of your decision to not see individuals with the certain illness that affected your father.  Judge not or lest be judged.  I get it

We will have to agree to disagree, because I am not going to invest any more time in trying to explain human decency to someone.

I will leave it at your rights end where someone else's begins. As people, we have the right to choose what does and does not make us comfortable. You either understand that basic concept and treat others as human, even if its not necessarily what you would do, or you don't. I think you just don't see how clearly you are saying you in fact will not take no for an answer, even if you haven't committed to saying it verbatim.

Nice try at the Jedi Mind trick. LOL

So basically the only way that I can prove that I know how to take no for an answer is to say that it is okay to discriminate?  I'm sure that works with some people but I'm going to pass.  

I will never say that I approve of discrimination or that it is okay for someone to treat someone differently solely because of the color of their skin, or where they are from, or if god forbid they had the temerity to get sick.  And if the fact that I refuse to approve of such discrimination means somehow that I don't have human decency (how ironic is that) then so be it.  I wonder if that argument would have worked on Gandhi and Martin Luther King.  


-- Modified on 1/7/2014 7:50:39 AM

I am absolutely positive that Ghandi wouldn't want a girl considering killing herself over sucking your dick. And I am absolutely positive that forcing a woman to relive a past sexual situation she is uncomfortable with is not what MLK stood for. Don't be disgusting. Forcing women to sleep with someone they're uncomfortable with, and saying that they should suck up legitimate traumas because you had to just SUFFER through her ad has absolutely NOTHING to do with civil rights or discrimination and everything to do with you having a warped sense of entitlement.  

Like I said, you can say discrimination is wrong all you want, because it is. You can say its against the law all you want, because it is. I have never once said that it was right, only tried to explain why some girls have such policies and open your eyes to something other than such a narrow and simplistic view of things. Just as I do with people who exhibit large amounts of ignorance in regards to race, religion, or anything else for that matter.  

No matter how much you want to pretend that you are somehow right to suggest that your lunch break is more important than her mental health though, you are not. By refusing to even begin to recognize that some girls have real reasons not to want to see people, and instead going on about how awwwwful you have it, you make it obvious that you in fact do not have a clear view of what decency is. You think you have it hard? One of the many fish in the sea said no to you because of your skin color? Now you have to press backspace and what, read a couple more lines? Please. If you only knew what some of these women have managed to make it through and overcome. Their body is their business and their business alone.  

 If she says no, the answer is no. We still reserve the right to consent, whether you like it or not.

What kind of woman who makes her living sucking dicks (big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones, clean ones, not so fresh ones...well you get the idea) but hates blacks so much that the though of sucking a black one would make her kill herself? Over exaggerate much?

You keep trying to make this a referendum on whether someone has the right to do what they want with their body.  But this isn't about that at all.  This about what would make someone who is absolutely comfortable performing an act with just about everybody who comes along refuse to perform that same act with someone else solely because of the color of their skin.  I'm not finding fault with some virgin off the street who refuses to some random guys dick.  I'm finding fault with any one who refuses to do something (whatever that something is) that they are willing to do with just about anyone else but then refuses to do that same thing with someone because of their race, color, origin, etc.  This isn't about sex.  If someone sold hot dogs and refused to sell them to Asians or any other race I would find it equally repugnant.

And yes I believe that Ghandhi would be upset if an escort discriminated on the basis of race.  As a man of GOD he would be absolutely against the hobby.  But if there were an escort that was willing to sleep with just about every white man that came along, but refused to see Indians such as himself solely because they were Indian, he would find that troubling.  And so would Dr. King.

On the one hand you keep saying that you don't think racial discrimination is right.  But then you come right back and seem to say but if the woman really doesn't like blacks then it's okay.  The same arguments though that you proffer are the same arguments that whites made in defense of Jim Crow.  They railed about how their businesses were their businesses and how they shouldn't be forced to make them open to blacks.  They screamed at the top of the lungs of how much mental anguish and physical illness they would suffer if forced to actually eat beside blacks and/or share water fountains with them.  And when blacks complained about the discrimination they suffered they whined about how insensitive it was for blacks to not consider their feelings on the issue and how unhappy they would be if they were forced to share hotel rooms with them or to let them dirty and ruin clothes by trying them on before buying them.  

And just like they were wrong then, you are wrong now.

I keep saying this, but you don't seem to get it.  This is absolutely not about forcing or even convincing anyone to have sex with someone that they don't want to.  I don't expect anyone that currently discriminates or is inclined to discriminate to change their behavior based upon anything that I've said.   But if that's your "preference" and you do discriminate, don't try to convince yourself that what you are doing is right or just or fair.

I fully understand what this is about for you.  You want to continue to discriminate, but you want to feel good about yourself as you do it.  I will not assist you in that.

My view on this is just as you say.  It is simplistic, and it is narrow.  My view is quite simply this: It is wrong to discriminate on the basis of race.  It is a simple view that I hold for everyone.  I hold it for blacks that discriminate against whites, for whites that discriminate against Asians, for Asians that that discriminate against Hispanics, and for Hispanics that discriminate against blacks.  There is no exception in my book.  You don't get a pass because you suffered.  You don't get a pass because you overcame.  In fact, in my book, if you survived difficulty that makes it more incumbent for you to reject such beliefs.

There is no real or justified reasons to be prejudiced and to discriminate.  Prejudice is a character flaw.  It is a weakness borne of irrational fear.  The proper response is not to give in to it.  The only response is to seek it out and conquer it.

What you advocate though is not even surrender.  Because what you advocate is far worse than that.  What you advocate is to refuse to even admit that it is wrong.  And that I will not do.

Seriously? Kiss my ass. Virgin or whore, a woman has the right to consent or not. Where do you even get off trying to say that we have any less right to say no than anyone else? Please. Talk about old school, backwater trains of thought.  

And I made you bring Ghandi and MLK into whether or not it's illegal for someone to say they don't want to have sex with you?? Are you a grown ass man or not? Over 18, you make your own choices darlin, and if you want to say something that out there, that is all on you. I am aware of what they actually stood for, and I don't try to use them in slimy arguments because two words I'm saying might match up with two words they said at one point in time. Jesus loved us whores, and I can't remember the last time I read an MLK quote that went "just wait guys, one day those white bitches won't be able to turn us away!!"  They were all bigger than that. Don't debase them to something as stupid as online pussy shopping.  

 I get it, I totally do, and that's why I tried to explain, and actually quite thoroughly answered most of your questions. Are cases of just flat out ignorance frustrating, especially in this day and time? Of course. Do I think it's wrong that people are still stuck in the dark ages regarding race? Yes I do. But you are the only one here accusing ALL of a group of something, you are the only one suggesting anyone be forced to do something they don't want to, and you are the only one who is trying to argue that any sort of exclusion is bounds for a lawsuit, despite the fact that its still the law that consent is either there or it isn't. I simply addressed the whys of some of them, you are the one painting with a broad, suppressive brush.  

I mean, listen to yourself. A woman has chosen what to do with her body based on experiences only known to her, and you are legitimately trying to say that MLK or Ghandi or Jesus would support you raping her over her not wanting to see you because of your skin color. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but according to the laws that you like to toss out, sexual assault would be a more accurate description for what you want than discrimination for her refusing you access to her body. We are actually allowed to do that, believe it or not. It's like, no one realizes how important blowjobs are.

As far as you trying to insinuate that I'm some kind of asshole, live it up. I don't need to justify my desire not to see certain groups of people. I don't need to make it seem right or fair, because I already know it is. I know myself, and I know my background, and I know that sucking off a stranger is not the place to deal with any deeper issues that I have. Rather than subjecting myself to crying in the bathroom, and spending the next three weeks miserable because of how difficult this industry makes the death of a certain family member for me, I simply choose not to see the people who will trigger that. Anyone with the nerve to suggest I just "get over it", I have no problem telling to fuck right off. You are not entitled to my body, but I am entitled to doing what is best for me.  

There are assholes, and then there are those who are just in a difficult industry and trying to maintain as best they can. You were lucky enough to be born a man, so you've already been pumped full of entitled bullshit, but the world is very different from a woman's perspective. Especially one who is doing this. This is not stopping by to get a sub on the way to work, and it's not getting your oil changed. There are real, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with and are exacerbated by this industry. You can pretend you have it hard all you want, but I assure you, you have no idea.  

The assertion that women should be MORE open to further reliving trauma because they were able to survive through it is deeply disturbing to me. I have been around this industry for a lot longer than I've been on TER, and I have had the displeasure of seeing what can happen to change a girls mind so drastically as to say "nah, I'd rather not pay rent". My friend that was held in a garage and gang raped for two days has every single right to want to avoid any situation like that again. Same goes for the girl who was dragged into a car and beaten half to death, and the one who was literally locked in a basement and pimped out. One was able to get legitimate therapy and it helped some, but no matter where they went or what job they had after that, they were still deeply effected. If you think these girls need to suck it up and get over their "discriminations" by seeing just anyone and everyone, then you are a terrible person, and I would say that in a restaurant to your face, over the Internet, and any other time you brought up something so sadistic. There is little to no protection, and there is no support for women who have negative experiences in this world, and men who suggest that women suck their dicks in spite of what they may have already been through disgust me. Yeah, discrimination is wrong, but suggesting some pathetic version of "oh it's 2014" is far more disturbing, and shows just how little you truly understand what you are saying.  

There is precious little that we get to do as far as selecting clients, and there is almost no protection and support if something happens to us. I don't really care how YOU feel about missing out on that hottie, and I don't really care how you feel about the shocking revelation that not everyone wants to sleep with you. What I DO care about are the girls who have actually experienced hardship, and the disgusting idea that they should have to move on, and that their experiences don't count, because they were never truly capable of consent anyways. I know you want this to be about color, but you have moved it far beyond that point

-- Modified on 1/7/2014 5:41:21 PM