Posted By: BellaMaytress
So.... I will most likely not do myself any favors by saying any of this, but, "Hi, my name is Bella and I am a Chronically Late Provider".
I'll try to keep it brief (no promises):
1) Yes, a lack of punctuality is absolutely unprofessional. I have no disillusions as to how negatively this impacts how others may view me. And they are absolutely warranted in their frustration and I never blame them for having enough and/or "moving on". So please, before anyone tries to tell me how awful I am, please save your energy, because believe it or not, I already know and would you believe that I cannot STAND this about myself. It's absolutely the WORST. I can always picture the gentleman waiting on me growing more and more impatient by the minute and this will rattle my nerves even more and I'll start having panic attacks,or knocking things over, or my eyeliner will slip, I'll cut myself shaving, or a combination of all of the little things that can cause delays. That brings me to my next point...
2) the "why": So if I KNOW I'm never on time and always seem to have more excuses than everyone else, why the hell can't I change? Am I so arrogant that I don't believe the rules apply to me? Am I so lazy, so disorganized, such a goddam mess that I can't get my shit together for an appointment planned in advance? Well, first of all, I NO NOT DISRESPECT ANYONE'S TIME. I ask for respect only from potential clients that give me the run-around. But I am self-aware enough to never admonish a client for being late to an appointment and in general keep little to no track of the clock once we're together. I understand this may promote a cycle of being late for appointments by not encouraging punctuality in others out of my guilt. I know, I KNOW. Again, I am literally the WORST. But, choose to believe me or not, I DO have a sense of right and wrong in regarding the supreme value of my clients' time. So once i do see my clients, I make every second count and make the entire time out of this world. But I know, there are MANY providers that can be both outstanding AND on time. SO WTF, Bella??? Well, I am a work-in-progress and a goddam pain in the ass. So every time I plan to be on time but I'm not on time, I offer compensation for the headache that is Waiting for Bella, in the form of a partial refund, still keeping the full appointment if the gentleman's schedule will allow, and usually letting it run pretty long (I can't remember the last time my one-hour session was actually an hour. On average, an hour sesh will be 75-90 mins and the 90 min sesh will be 2 hrs-2.5 hrs, etc. etc.). If he has all night and doesn't mind waiting, I'll pretty much throw the clock away and just give him all I've got for a few hours. So, I have a few wonderful friends who actually come back to see me and for them I am so, so grateful. And to all, this is not a permanent component of the Bella Experience.. (and here's the first of my attempts throughout this post to not lose my entire business..)
3) the how (or maybe this is really they why? who cares): Once upon a time, I was THE MOST punctual. It was incredible...(sorry for friends reading this who I've already told my tales of woe to... scroll through, scroll through!!)
I used to wake up at 3:30 am to run 9 miles and "do the stairs" 25X, then take a shower & get to work by 6:45-7am, way before anyone else arrived. I was a lab manager and while doing my own research (nutrition, molec & cell biology, analytical chem), I did the upkeep of our entire lab, ordering supplies, reagents, anti-bodies; Autoclaved the waste, called in maintenance if the HPLC or the Biosafety Cabinet wasn't working, kept inventory, budget, trained new employees, man I did it all! Then went home at the end of a 12-13 hour day to cook my boyfriend dinner, feed the cats, do laundry/clean then go to bed around 9 pm (lol, how else was I going to get up at 3:30 am?) So WTF happened? I'm still working it out, but my ability to keep track of everything started to crumble once I entered grad school and against all reason, chose a curriculum that was basically a double PhD of two super-hard sciences. While working 70 hrs a week in the lab, trying to get my research off the ground towards a thesis project. While building my escorting "empire' (jkjkjk). I stopped sleeping for months and as I zombie-walked my way through the first couple of years, my ability to keep time and plan in my head how and when tasks would have to be done for everything to fall in place exactly perfect, went to shit. Seriously, any sense I thought i had of the concept of time was obliterated. This in conjunction with being a person who has ALWAYS been disorganized in the sense of having notebooks full of illegible handwriting stuffed with random homework pages/bills/junk mail/birthday cards and a purse that would rival Mary Poppins' in how much of my world I could carry around with me at any given time, AND having the blessing/eventual curse of never having to study in high school, and then legitimately having ADD.. well it's a perfect storm for one to become.. fairly disoriented. My world recently has been thrown off balance in a difficult way. I'm still getting used to not being able to Do It All, and figuring out how realistic I have to be in regards to setting the times of each appointment i accept, and realizing when I have to say no or I have to propose a compromise. How to do this all before it's too late and I've got an angry customer waiting in the parking lot.
3) The fix/the future: I know that many people juggle a lot and do it with wonderful success. And beyond that fact, this is a business so who the fuck cares about my personal life? I understand and want you all to understand that I know having poor punctuality is inexcusable and people just want their fucking provider to be on time, and I GET THAT! I'm on your side! Again, hating me. I'm the Worst. But my point is, after 33 years, I'm sincerely getting this organization thing working. I've had dozens of jobs in my life where I've had to be on time, so I get that this job is no different. So, I've been setting my alarms and Google reminders and keeping the calendar and putting bills into spreadsheets. I am working on this and yet, I wouldn't blame any one for not wanting the aggravation of paying to see someone who is a "work-in-progress" when what they deserve is an escape. All I've got is that I'm getting better and enforcing routine and whenever I do inconvenience a customer, I do whatever i can to make it right. And when we do finally get alone in a room together?
I'm a goddamn delight, baby! And my very kind reviewers have backed me up on this.
In conclusion, I really didn't write this all to give excuses or even to solicit sympathy or empathy. (I am in general fairly self-deprecating). All I wish is that perhaps, no matter what corrective measure you must take, like choosing to no longer see the Chronically Late Provider (CLP), admonishing her or them or whatever on the boards, that no matter any of this just once consider that the CLP DOES actually value your time and that punctuality, for whatever inexcusable reason, really is that hard to accomplish.
Thanks, peace out!
B