I understand that this is first and foremost a business for you wonderful ladies.  Your _job_ is to make every client feel like he is the greatest guy in the world.  You deal with total jerks (hopefully few), lots of average guys but occasionally probably meet a few men that you could really like as a person.  

How do you erect emotional barriers against becoming involved with those few gems? I'm sure the answers will vary with each lady, but it would be interesting to hear your comments compared to...

Guys - Some (maybe most) of us look at this as a hobby, but we meet a wide variety of ladies from scam artists (hopefully few), to pimped-out victims, to purely businesswomen, to wild ones in it for the excitement, to exquisitely professional (but purely professional) exceptional ladies and maybe once in a while a lady that you could develop a real relationship with under other circumstances.  How do you maintain your emotional distance?

Or does this never happen?

Most of the time the lines are so clearly drawn that it's hard to misread anything or get yourself caught up. One thing I learned and I was a naive fella starting into this, I married way too young, still married but the hobby helps keep it that way sometimes, is that it is possible to have awesome sex or physical chemistry without having "traditional" feelings for each other. But sometime kick ass friendships develop that blur things just a bit. I remember one lady and we were on a real name basis we had gotten to be actual friends. Made me feel pretty special and she complimented me on being able to keep things separate and not expect free stuff even though we were friends, spoke on the phone texts a few times a week when no session scheduled. I said look we have great physical chemistry on doubting that and we actually do know each other but until ya start doing me for free no illusions on my end.

Sometimes there are situations that occur beyond the normal boundaries found here. Been lucky like that one time. Why does a married fella call that lucky? When he can't act on it? Simple it can be more rewarding than a typical relationship. No expectations no nagging no room for jealosy or bullshit. If it happens just enjoy the ride without making anything typical out of it. I promise it will be better that way. Two folks that can just brighten each other's day every once in a while.

Good write up. Yea I've been worried because of my natural ability to become quickly attached. But so far so good. In the end I reach for my wallet to help me remember it was all just a dream and I paid handsomely for it.

I usually can keep things separate but there was one time it was some serious fake couple shit!! Made me smile for weeks. Bet she's smiling if she's reading this. Good times good times!!

Just have to accept things for what they are and sometimes things just flow roll with it dude. But don't force it if it's a real friendship you'll know.

Ladies, would love to hear some of your comments...

Well this about sums it up... We are all human.. You will find that there is a mutual attraction with male clients...  Hey its ok...... We also find that we connect with some male clients... Hey its ok too!!
 
We (or I) have been lucky enough to separate my business life, with my personal life.. YOU JUST HAVE TO SEPARATE THE TWO... I am pretty good about just having a nice time, and JUST making the BEST of our date... This does not mean I dont share feeling with my clients, it just means I somehow dont let if affect how I choose to act the next day.. Afterall, I will not stop what Im doing for anyone.. I am safe, and I am healthy...  

I dont put any more into it... Now I will say that my best friend was once my client.. WE still see eachother (yes he pays) and we have a very open friendship, that couldnt ever be if he was my actual boyfriend.. I dont know theres something about a friend, that I havent found in a boyfreind..  

I dunno this sounds like a bunch of ramblign.. Sorry.... Just woke up...  

Bit

-- Modified on 1/18/2014 2:49:29 AM

Here are a couple answers to your inquiry regarding the ladies:

1. They deal with clients falling for them ALL THE TIME. The ones who are really into it came here specifically to escape the dating scene for the no-strings-attached fun - this is not match.com for sex maniacs. You're going to build some emotional barriers if you have to constantly be on guard for needy/stalker clients.

2. Whether you see her once or 100 times, due to the nature of the arrangement, she must maintain zero expectation that she'll see you again. You're going to build some emotional barriers to deal with that uncertainty.

From a guy's perspective:

It can be a bit of a mind-fuck at first. Getting treated like a king is intoxicating, and even more so when you encounter someone you really gel with. Have I met ladies that I could imagine dating under different circumstances? Of course, but admitting that to her is the quickest way to get dropped. You have to realize that when you click in in the hobby it's akin to the early-infatuation period of a relationship - i.e. it's a temporary high that's mostly in your head. You have to just accept and appreciate that you're really just seeing the best of each other without all the lows and baggage that inevitably arise with all LTRs. Think of this like any other drug - enjoy the high, but don't lose yourself and become a junkie.

Back in 1993 I met a Lady here in Chicago. She was a Provider that was originally from Charlotte. Very Nice and always showed me a Great time. Very Open Minded. Did pretty much what I asked of her. She lived in Chicago for the next 15 years. She was the only one I would see. Then she decided to move back to Charlotte because her Business started to slow down and she wanted to be close to her Elderly Parents. I've driven from Chicago to Charlotte to see her. Even after 20 years she's still a Sweetheart. I'm planning to see her in February to help her move into a New House. She's out of the Business now. When I visit her she always shows me an Awesome Time. If there was no Emotional Involvement I wouldn't drive over 700 miles to see her.

I know of a lady in my town that: Was a provider before personal computers, raised a son and daughter, both know about mom, neither are in the business, and is still married to her first husband. It can happen, how rare I do not know. A good friend of mine became involved with her in his early twenties, emotionally devastated him to find out he was only a non commercial f_ _ _ k buddy.  
She was successful in her involvement in this lifestyle, but only one man ever got or deserved all of her. Her husband that gave her the very special emotional support this business demands. Good luck to the ladies that really enjoy this. May you find someone that loves you enough and is strong enough to be there for you.

I can't afford to get into any emotional entanglements; that's why I so appreciate the NSA world of you wonderful providers, as opposed to having an affair.  It is interesting to me, though, the best times that I have had with providers have been because of intangible chemistry between individual providers and myself (at least as perceived from my side), rather than just the technical skills, enthusiasm, appearance, conversational ability, experience or intelligence of the provider.  While the profession is said to objectify women, I have found just the opposite in a strange way.  My worst encounters started with something like "OK, what do you like?" and my best ones started with a conversation between two people finding out about each other.

I'll bet that the learning curve for providers is a steep one for many reasons such as physical security, legal, marketing, etc.  I would be surprised to hear that there is much mentoring of newbie providers by more experienced ladies, simply because of business expediency - there is a limited supply of appropriate clients out there (not because of appetite, but because of budgets!) and a girl needs to protect her sources on income.

You ladies have some skills that we don't have a clue about!

Sorry to become an essayist, but providers fascinate me in more than the obvious way.

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