And to say that I am torn is an understatement.
Now while I can sympathize with the average men, and understand why he TOTALLY does not want his real info out there (And I want ya'll to understand, I GET IT. It is a HUGE RISK, imperitive to your private life and the security of it... I understand mmmkay?)
From the flip side of the coin-
You know there are a lot of horror stories out there about clients who have "went bad"- (lots of okay's and then one day just decides to start shorting the envelope, or leave it full of paper shreds...) or let a buddy "borrow" his account...
And then we have the worry of.... violence. Same as anyone else can "switch out" at any given time...
As a provider... imagine this:
You have a client who you screen through referrals, white lists, and okay's...
Let's say this client gets violent with you during your session...
What repercussion does TER have for him?
(Yes, they would try to make the lady PROVE she was attacked and that it WAS indeed him, when in all actuality it may not have even been HIM.)
What accountability do they enforce?
Almost the same issue with p411...
(And I have read countless stories of p411 NOT having a lady's back when something of this nature arises.)
We ladies are each accountable for our own safety.
The only safest best a lady has of preventative measures (and yes, I have heard this described by men as a "power play"-) is having his REAL INFO.
It's not like a provider can go to the cops and tell them that "AliasABCD" assaulted me and left me for dead, right?
It honestly boils down to each provider and their own comfort level.... Within the screening websites and blacklist sites, it is one of the most debated heated subjects between the ladies there is. "Screening methods" and some scream at others "theirs is the best" and yada yada... Safety versus confidentiality. (You think all ladies put your confidentiality over their own safety? Not likely...)
I am more likely to think, a provider who has encountered this type of violence herself or within her close circle, is less prone to take okay's and whitelists, than a lady who has not been exposed to this.
Even with that being said, a man can have 100 okay's and still does not guarantee that his behavior will be good;
Of course the PROBABILITY of having issues is less, imo, nothing makes a guarantee, although having a "real name" "id" place of business generally prevents anything very bad from happening.
I'm torn, I want to be safe as I possibly can, but I really truly despise being made to feel as though I were being invasive;
or of even having TOO Much information (for safety reasons) and honestly, it's none of my business.
Your real name?
I don't care. (Unless you assult me, then only then, I reckon I will wish I had gotten it, eh?)
I usually only require tougher screening (past okay's/referrals) if he turns up blacklisted.
Then I proceed with caution, as I well ought to.
You just never know...
But as far as TER whitelists?
Meh...
I give more credence to p411 okays...
Although I have given whitelists out myself.
I dunno if I am really answering your questions, but maybe sharing some insight.
Fox