I'm new to this hobby and am seeking advice on developing provider references.  I am very hesitant to use my employment as a reference because I could lose it if my activities were to be discovered.  I'm also uncomfortable with giving information to a website such as P411 or Datecheck for the same reason.  I really want to have some fun but also need my job.  So, it would seem that gaining provider references is my best option.  However, how do I know if an escort would agree to give me a reference?  It seems that it's a catch-22, no fun without references, and no references won't allow fun.  I had developed a dialogue with a lovely woman but she dropped me quickly when I fell through on the references.  Does anyone have suggestions?  Thank you very much.

END OF MESSAGE

You are going to have to get verified somehow, someway before most of the ladies here will see you.  

My recommendation is to join P411.  I think they are a class outfit and will work with you discreetly. While you have to give them your info, they do not contact your employer directly that I am aware of.  I have a direct line at work and they just called it to verify I was who I said I was.  If you don't have a direct line, you can set it up so they call acting as a doctor's or dentist's office confirming an appointment or any other routine reason.  Date check didn't call me at all. I guess they verified me through the credit card I gave them.  

In either case, you are taking risks playing here, but as long as you do your research (I use P411 & TER extensively) they are minimal IMHO.

-- Modified on 1/4/2014 9:00:10 AM

Skipnstones: I too had the same concerns when I started a few years ago about providing my personal information and still do. You have to realize the risk of seeing someone without reviews or professionalism puts you at more risk than providing screening information. I personally have seen Julia, Erica, Bree & Marley, and a few others over the years who required this information with no problems whatsoever.  They are all fantastic and remember they are not an agency who will keep your information, they just want to protect themselves and you from any bad situation. Fortunately over time, I have received a few white list referrals and do not have to provide as much information now as I did when I first started.  Good luck whatever you decide to do and I hope to see each of the lady's I mentioned in this thread again soon after an absence the past 6 months.

Miss Julia, I certainly understand and have the utmost respect for your reasons, I too am conscious of how conditions are in our world today and had never entertained the idea of asking you to "Meet for coffee or a drink" to see that I was a '''Nice guy.'"   I am fully aware that you have better things to do.  However, I mistakenly sensed that you might lend a bit of guidance to a newbie and I apologize for my ignorance and, in my mind, am delighted that your endeavors will continue just fine without my friendship.  My post was not directed at and didn't even mention you.  I was merely, as I said, trying to gain insight into how to become a respected member of this community with as little risk to my professional environment as possible.  Perhaps the realization that both sides share trepidation in this risky but rewarding hobby would help you understand that I meant no harm.

-- Modified on 1/5/2014 1:00:10 AM

Onecurious, thank you so much for your kind words.  Perhaps I've seen too many TV shows where "The client list" is exposed and ruins the "Poor sap's" life.  In any event, I definitely understand and have always supported the need for screenings and feel a little more comfortable about that after your message.  I guess P411 it is.  Thanks again!

-- Modified on 1/5/2014 12:42:18 AM

Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate it greatly!  You and onecurious have given me what I was seeking, advice and your own experiences with personal info screening.  I still think that it might be possible for one to build references without disclosing personal info., but I realize now that it would be most difficult to find that one lady to get it started.  Thanks again for showing the kindness.

Always trust your instincts. My life and job are no more or less important then yours. There are several reputable providers in the area. Who value your privacy and expect you to do the same. Think of it this way, I let you into my home, you are twice my size and strength.. I trust you with so much in 1 hour.. so, the least you can do is provide a lady with some information in case something happens to her..

I prefer providers who are over the top safe. And I have no issues giving who I consider upscale providers any information they ask for. Before I consider becoming a friend I do research on my end as well. I value discretion and my safety as well as theirs.

The details you've recounted are for the most part accurate.  It would seem I have a lot to learn, as this experience has been starkly humbling.  I appreciate greatly the folks who've offered kind advice, including even your suggestion of a copy of one's driver's license and a phone verification as a possible substitute for a screening firm.  I also apologize if I've caused any offense, to anyone.  And you are quite correct, you and I are definitely not a good match.  As important to me as physical attraction is a mutual tenderness and empathy, which is so good for the ego.  Is that pathetic?  Maybe.  Unrealistic?  Nah, I don't think so.  In any event, the tone of your messages have indicated a singular disdain for someone who approached you quite innocently.  I appreciate that you certainly don't need my approval, friendship, or advocacy, and after the response that this message evokes, I desperately hope that it will be the end of our acquaintance.  Best of luck to you.

Skipnstones - you posting thread is helpful to me as well as I seek to re-start in the hobby.  Best of success in 2014.

Hi Julia, your reply is informative to my learning as well.  I see by your website and reviews you have built up a lot of credibility as well.  I wish you continued success in 2014

You have such a good point, one that I must admit was not evident to me until I got all this stirred up.  It befuddles my imagination that someone would harm a lady that has invited him into her space for a brief time of pleasure.  Even if one is compensated for showing affection to another, the idea of betraying that kindness by rude actions is absolutely incomprehensible.  But I guess that's the downside of exploring this new fantasy.  Thanks again for helping me understand both sides.