Yesterday I wasat my local COSTCO buying a large bag ofPurina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in thecheck-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?  So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I  didn't have a dog, I was starting the PurinaDiet again. I added that I  probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her thatit was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time youfeel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I havet o mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought theguy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't letme shop there anymore.