You know, went all day Monday and the board was dead.  There were no ladies flashing pics, or engaging in ‘stimulating’ conversation. And no in depth commentary from the guys, not even a question like “How can you tell she is a true blonde if she shaves down there?”.   So I am going to tell a joke, not a great joke, just a joke.  Remember this is all your fault.  If there was anything other than “has anyone heard from Zelda?”  I wouldn’t be telling this joke.

When I was a young man, I decided to go to a house of Ill repute called Diamond Lill’s.  Being wet behind the ears and having only 5 dollars I went in to chat with the madam.  She said its ok sonny; you go down the hall, first door to the left, room 101. So I walked on down, open the door and all that was in the room was a chicken. Well I thought, I guess 5 bucks don’t get you much.
The next week I again went to Diamond Llll’s only this time I had 10 dollars.  I walked up to the madam and proudly asked what I could get for my 10 bucks.  She said go up the stairs, first door on the left, Room 201. So I went up, opened the door and found a dim room with a group of people standing in the center looking at the floor.  I found an open spot and discovered the center of the floor was glass and there were 2 women in a 69 position having a good time.  I watched for a while and nudged the fella next to me and said “Good Show Huh?”. To which he replied “That ain't nothing! You should have been here last week; some guy was down there trying to screw a CHICKEN!!”

Not that I am good at jokes either... but... I think I can do better. here are a few items I stole from a kid on my sons twitter account.

Women always say "all men want is sex". That's a lie. We want head too.

Does Nailing a pregnant chick count as a threesome?

When midgets have orgasms, is it referred to as a "shortcoming?

It was a true story ..........NOT!  The worst joke I ever heard was


Why does a Flamingo stand on one leg?  Cause if he raised the other one he would fall on his ass.

Now that is bad.

The Horth Whithperer

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, 'How will I recognize him?'
'That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment.'
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

'A female horth.'
So he shows him a prized filly.
'Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth'?
So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
'Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth'?
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
'Nith earzth, can I see her mouf'?
The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
'Nice mouf, can I see her twat'?
Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can upthe horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

'Perhapth I should refwrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit'?

Oh great a good joke rotfl

You seem like quite the likable fella. Pretty funny too! An here I thought you were talking about your first time in a house of ill repute! Well right up until the chicken. Then I was hoping it was a joke!