#1. If you are married or in a serious relationship, NEVER go through their varification process. Providers are in a business and like any business they must assume risk. The customer should never be asked to risk his privacy. Trust me, you seriously run the risk of getting caught when you give out your personal information. It's one of the reasons I am now divorced. A former Escort decided to keep driving by my house because she was in big trouble and needed money. Of course, she said I was the only one she could turn to. The calls to my house mever stopped. Another Escort continually would leave sexual messages on my cell phone until by accident my wife heard one of them. Most providers although they may swear they don't keep a clients list complete with your name,address and contact numbers. If LE ever makes a bust and ends up with that little black book guess who maybe getting a call? DON'T DO IT!!!, let me say it again, Don't do it!!!!

#2. Don't buy into these Glamour pictures. They could make a German Shepard look attractive. Make sure they are legit casual shots and if a provider doesn't show herself than find someone who will. Again, providers are well aware they have chosen a risky profession. Don't let them fool you with THEIR need for privacy. There are plenty who will show you what you are getting first.

#3. Unless you are looking for an overweight provider, when you hear words like Voluptuous,curvaceous and weight proportioned to height in their description this is usually a tip off. Unless you hear the words thin or skinny you could expect the unexpected.

#4. If you find a good provider than treat them with kindness and respect. Good ones take a little longer to find but they are out there.

Happy Hunting

There are good providers, and then there are bad. Just like, there are good men who hobby, and the ones who turn out to be *ssholes. Please DO NOT LUMP us girls in one category, for it's not fair to the honest provider out there, NOR to yourself. Because of what this girl did to you, does NOT imply that WE providers are all out to get you (well..in bed, yes lol). It sounds like to me, thatyou had a bad time. I am sorry to hear about it. But,  for you to denounce every single provider out there, who is all about being honest, upfront, and sincere, you do a disservice to yourself, and to us.

I wanted to add my thoughts to the verification process: It's here to stay. Either you want to meet a provider who is all about being safe, or you can take your chances with a street walker, and get busted in a sting..so, which is it for you?


Thanks for listening,


Mel



-- Modified on 8/25/2002 8:34:10 AM

-- Modified on 8/25/2002 8:36:07 AM

Most of us have our lives together.  Sounds like the providers you have seeked out are not women of class.  As I always tell gentlemen, "You get what you pay for."

Sorry you had problems.

Des

By all means, let's have the providers assume all the risk.  We're the upstanding people and they aren't.  You want to protect your life.  Well, so do they.  You risk a divorce.  They risk a criminal record that follows them the rest of their lives.
 I understand the risks they take to life and health, but what amazes me is that they are able to put up with us.  I'm sure, on average, we're not the most handsome of men.  None of us is bound for Hollywood.
 You talk of being discerning in your choice of providers.  I'll bet if they execrcised as much caution as you do, you'd still be faithful to your wife.  IMHO.

I guess I am not surprised at the negative reaction to my previous post by some providers or pimps. First off, the providers I have used in the past and continue to use are between $250-$350. So, the comment that was made "you get what you pay for" does not apply. I don't think that I ever said every provider walking the earth is sure to call you or track you down. I still maintain for the few that will it's definately not worth the risk. Smart providers insist that their dates wear condoms not because they think every date will give them a disease but because it's not worth the risk. That is exactly my point.

For those who don't believe me, this is America and you are free to conduct your life as you wish however, when a bust occurs and a provder gives up her little black book don't be surprised when it hits the local papers since this book is a public record and accessible by anyone. Everything I have said in my initial post is just some good old fashioned common sense. Don't let the small head do the thinking for the big head! You may regret it.

Happy Hunting

1. don't trust a provider who makes no effort to verify who you are. she is, at best, inexperienced and foolish, and at worst LE or a desperate skank.

2. READ HER REVIEWS before you choose a provider. if you choose one with mediocre or no reviews, don't blame her if she doesn't turn out to be what you wanted - or she turns out to be glenn close.

3. if you are so picky that you can't have a good time with a provider unless she meets your idea of a perfect 10, then be prepared for lots of disappointments. these are human women, putting their best foot forward in their ads just like everyone else on the planet.

4. don't buy into the glamour pictures. i've never met a woman who would allow herself to be photographed rolling out of bed with no makeup on - why the hell would an escort post that shot on her website?? if the glamour look is important to you, make the request when you make the appointment, don't just assume that she spends 6 hours a day putting on and taking off makeup. and READ HER REVIEWS.

5. don't expect a provider to insult or apologize for her own body in her AD. of course words like voluptuous, curvaceous, rubenesque, etc. will be used; many men are attracted to a woman who is larger than the hollywood ideal. if you only like a certain body type, READ THE REVIEWS to get a true picture of what you are looking for.

6. treat EVERY provider you meet with kindness and respect, at least until she proves to you that she doesn't deserve it. if you treat every girl like a ho until she proves she is a "good one", i predict many more disappointments in your future.

just a general observation: why assume that one (or a few) bad experiences are definitive? good restaurants serve bad meals on occasion. geniuses make mistakes. good teams lose. good providers have bad days.... so do good doctors, lawyers, teachers, cops, sales clerks, soda jerks, and bank robbers. if i see a provider and she stalks me, robs me, calls my wife, ruins my life - does that mean that no provider can be trusted?

The guy is just saying that giving out info is a risk.  The response appears to be "don't lump us all in together."  However, one must lump when responding to ads.  How exactly is one to tell if today's stable person (hobbyist or provider) will be stable in the future?  I understand the verification process.  However, I also understand the reluctance to put ones personal (non-hobbying) life at jeopardy.  It is a risk.  He is right.  In the final analysis, the concerns are not mutually exclusive. Play safe, A.

I really like what you wrote. I am sitting here reading and knowing that this thread could be very contaversal so I will write then close my computer til tomarrow.

You definately have a point. I know ladies you are saying that not girls are like that and that he should do him home work and all of which I agree, but the fact of the issue remains. There are many girls who most definatley are like this. I know because I have met some.

Isn't there a middle ground here? How about telling a girl what field of business you are in, (maybe the ladty can ask a few questions of your expertise) You could give her a cell phone number (One that could easily get lost if need to be and buy a new one) and you show I'D with a business card to match when you enter for your appointment. (Make sure the girl does not write all the info down of course for your saftey)

This is not the first time I have heard of such a thing happening. Happened to a friend and big hobbyist here in our Boston community. (Up to him, if he should like to respond.) So this gentleman is not alone in his fears. This really does happen! So I think maybe through references, and everything else necissary in a check, I know I am willing to have a little leway on such an issue. I completely understand.

But now, I think you should not tell guys THEY should not do it. Why not just voice your concerns and pain for all to know and allow them to make this decision on there own. I know it hurt you very badly but that you are saying it with such strong feelings and pain, but this system has been a very sucessful one for us here and it has been working very well.

So here is another suggestion. Maybe write about who that has been harrasing you and effecting your life. That way others can avoid such confrontation.

I feel from my experience many ladies who behave in such a manner are ones who don't have anything nor anything to lose. They becomae destarate and many of them clearly on drugs or problems with pimps. (Ladies I have seen with this same situataion) This type of situation is wrong and uncalled for and should most definatley stopped. So maybe you should share instead to change. This is a discussion, suppose to discuss and though discussion we are helping one another.

Just a few of my thoughts. But I do think you have a major point and one that should be addressed. Im sure you are not attacking us ladies in anyway. You were hurt badly and you want others to know so that they too will never have to face the pain that you have. I think what you wrote was curagious (because you knew some would be upset) But I think it was the right thing to do.

Now I don't know if you have completley quit the hobby after such termoil. But I am sure that this has already been said as well. There are many wonderful and sweet girls out there that would never do such a thing to you. Im sorry that you got a bad apple, but please do not see us all in the same light. Most of us, would never do the things you had written about. Most of the ladies in Boston are very professional when it comes to privacy. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

Now about Glamour shots. It is amazing what has been done. But guys know that already. You would be amazed about how many have actually said this to me. So I know it is not only you who feels this way.

About descriptions. God, this has been going on for years! You can not change this. This is only normal. But you will find some are very honest some lie a bit to go with the crowd. I have a friend who is 33 but does not look a day over 25 and she is very fun, energetic and has fun like she is still in college or something. If she said she was 33, she would not get half the guys who love her so much today. So for mone they do it for the type of gentleman they are looking to attract.

I am actually 27 but I claim to to be 24. But I will tell you the truth if you ask. I find when I say 27, I get very different crowd than when I claim I am 24. Im a little wild, so when I go for a dinner date, I want the guy to know the truth about me and that I am a bit high strung and off the wall. (Not at dinner of couse) but in personality and life. If I am to say I am 27, I find I get lecured about where I might be going in life, and damb if I know. Then I lose my comfort. Then with  weight. I am actuall 126 lbs and 5'4. But for some guys after seeing the girl who is actually 5'4 and 155lbs claiming my same weight, then guys get nervous about seeing  me. That must be fat if the girl who is 5'9 and 126 is actualy 5'9 and 145lbs which is a slim beautiful weight of a girl at that height. But men have this distorted perception of weight but it is many ladies, and agencies fault that thathas been created in time. I do it too you know. i won't lie when asked but I will when I am comparing it to others. It seems as if it is just part of the business. But I will in no way tell a man I am skinny! LOL. Actually I don't say anything, just allow the guys to do it for me. (I am writing about what I used to write in my webpage) I think I took it down. How embarresing if I have not yet...lol.

I think it is time for bed. Hust wanted to share with you what I really thought. And with the length that I wrote, I think you might be the only one that reads this. But I was moved by your post. I know you got hurt. Im sorry for that.

Many wishes. xox Ma-ling

xox Ma-ling

your are entitled to your opinion as we all are.  it seemed to me that corky's negativity was possibly aimed in a particular direction and such negativity is not needed.

what an incredibly sensitive and intelligent post. my new mission in life is to meet you

i still stand by my defense of ladies who want to verify for self-protection.... but maybe there is a way to verify that is less invasive. it is true that many hobbyists have a lot to protect.

I think these are more appropiate tips. While I cannot discount an opinion, I can express sympathy for corky. He's obviously had some rotten experiences.

I think that in most cases gentlemen should be a little more reasonable. & do their homework! Some ladies are like me & request no reviews (do a search, you won't find any. But you also won't find anyone who has a bad thing to say about me).

And as for verification. In my case, either its done or not. I can understand a gentleman not wanting to go through it. But, then he has to understand my devotion to know whom it is I am going to spend time with. No hard feelings, but that is the way it is. It's not because I'm mean, it's because I care about myself.

I don't think a lady should ever contact a gentleman unless it is with permission. (hmmmmm, I'm not sure if that covers stalking).

I don't think a lady or a gentleman should ever have to appologize for what they look like. Sure the pic's may be from 20 yrs ago. But if the homework is done....... this shouldn't be a problem.

Happy hunting to all........

Why are y'all jumping on this guy.  I think his points are right on.

Wish I were there to tutor!

Have fun, MG

Your points are very accurate.  While a girl takes the risk of being alone with a savage and being injured, this is a vanishingly small problem for a girl who charges over $250.  However the opposite is not true for hobbyists.  A very fair number of girls in that range are flakes or addicted.  A hobbyist who gives private information to such a girl is risking his home, marriage, children and job.  If you are into caution, then avoid providers who demand ridiculious amounts of private information.  There are plenty of girls out there who are reasonable.

If you don't care about being barbecued if a girl trades her black book to save her tush or if she decides to destroy your marriage, give anybody who asks your private data.  It is a question of how brave and stupid you are.