In response to Audrey's post, what are the best/worst pickup lines you've either heard or said?  I say "Best/Worst" because it's all about perspective.  Let's face it, some of the "best" lines guys say to women are perceived to be the "worst" thing they have heard.

Here's my fav, though oddly enough it has never resulted in any horizontal hokey pokey:

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Mohammed?"

or

"If I controlled the alphabet, 'U' and 'I' would be together"

C'mon ladies, admit it, wouldn't you be sticky in your shorts if a guy said those lines to you???

-- Modified on 11/21/2008 6:28:34 AM

Oh you sweet talking son-of-a-bitch!!! I was getting all sweaty just reading them.

Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

Hi. You'll do.

I wonder what our children will look like.


I've got a condom with your name on it.


You smell wet. Let's Party.


Come on. We're leaving.


If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.


Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.


You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.


Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)


Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?


See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.


Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.


Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.


I have big feet.


You have the ass of a great artist.


You're ugly but you intrigue me.

Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

My love for you is like the Energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way, right away.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Is that Windex you're wearing? Because I can see myself in your pants.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.



-- Modified on 11/21/2008 7:23:04 AM

You are the hottest thing since sunburn.

Do you know what would look good on you? ……..Me.

Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties.  Oh, you are?  It must be an hour fast!

The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine!

I never had a Spanish chick before. Ole!

Does this look like a Q to you?

Are you eighteen yet?

I like to be in bed by 8 and home by 11.

Fat chicks need lovin too, but they gotta pay.

Who wants toplay hide and go naked?

Hello, 911? It's me again. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.

[to feminist woman] The plight of women in this hemisphere is deplorable.
[to woman who likes strong men] I can bench press 800 pounds.
[to woman who loves jazz music] You, me and Coltrane till dawn, baby.
[walks between two women] sorry, I didnt mean to come between you... or did I?  

Hello there. You must be *this* beautiful to ride the "your name here".

Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side.



-- Modified on 11/21/2008 7:53:16 AM

-- Modified on 11/21/2008 8:17:09 AM

Hey baby, let's get a pizza and fuck.  What's the matter?  You don't like pizza?

I would guess that licking your the top of your own nose with your tongue would probably be a pretty good "pick-up" method.  

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mummy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

doing in a girl like you?

OK,
which ones worked

You remind me of somebody I'd like to meet.

I once had a guy at a club come up to me and whisper in my ear " You look like hot sex" I whispered back to him "I taste like it too"
and yes that line actually worked!

My favorite is short and to the point "lets F**k"

"is that thing spoken for tonight?" as you point your finger at her crotch.

9 out of 10 times you get slapped, verbally rebuffed or a look of disgust.

1 out of 10 times it works.

It is all a numbers game.

These are too funny. I have to print them for future reference, but I like DC.'s the best, lol. I made 1.6 million last year. Layla's are funny too. . . Do you want a drink or do you just want the money?

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, Why dont we meet between the holidays?

Are your legs tired because you have been running through my mind all day.

Your daddy must own a juice company because you are very fine.

None of those ever worked, but made me laugh at the corny factor.
The line that is a 50/50 for me is let's fuck. You'll either get a drink, a slap or a good time.
Worth a chance.
Thanks for topic Dingaling

Re: "I made $1.6 million last year." It's a lie, but it works everytime. (eom)

LOVE IT