The first was aired by the original poster. The second was revealed by Ally Moore. BOTH represent sincere abuses of the National Blacklist.
Our little hobby needs to be self-policing; and ONE aspect of self-policing means acting in a responsible and fair-minded fashion.
Let me be clear. Blacklists should be used for one purpose and one purpose only: to keep escorts safe from FELONIOUS behavior. Thefts, threats, stalking, physical harm and the like.
A blacklist should NEVER be used for breaches of decorum, NCNS, and the like. Used in this fashion, eventually practically every hobbyist winds up on the list -- and it is rendered useless for its intended purpose.
And, I have to say, the situation that Ally described is really unconscionable. If a provider has witnessed a felonious act personally and has actively decided to share that information but NOT to put it on a national blacklist; it is an unbelievable breach of every aspect of a provider's ethics to take the initiative and list the person based, at that point, on second hand information.
Ally has described very good reasons for not using that list -- including the fact that it publicly reveals personally identifiable information about a hobbyist, including the fact he is a hobbyist *that would otherwise be unavailable publicly from any other source* that could cost him his job, his marriage, and more. Because of this, it should be reserved for matters of SAFETY -- and that's all.
Think, for a moment, before listing someone, if the matter at hand is SO horrible that the person deserves to lose a job paying $250k, lose $1M in a divorce settlement, etc etc.
Yet, too many escorts do NOT think. They are so self-obsessed in their own little worlds that, for a NCNS, they would blithely flush someone's life down the toilet.
THIS is the real issue for the original poster. Nowadays, smart providers don't take the National Blacklist as a definitive source anyway. They aren't going to deprive themselves of a good client because of a single no-show.
But now, anyone who pays the fee on that site -- an employer, an SO, etc. -- can find his full personally identifiable information. And he wants that information OFF -- and it should be OFF, pronto. In a just world, any damage coming to him as a result of that bogus listing would be paid by the provider who listed him. Maybe SHE would like to pick up the tab for his kids' college?
And that issue is multiplied further when done, not by the provider herself, but by people coming along and taking it upon themselves to list someone on the basis of *hearsay* -- albeit hearsay from a woman I trust.
I've said this before and I'll say it again.
In the long run, such outrageous abuses of blacklists by gossip-mongers, third-hand reporters, and self-indulgent women who think a NCNS is worth seriously harming someone ... make providers LESS SAFE because the list becomes unreliable.
And, as a couple of providers have revealed -- they don't take that list as definitive either.
And it isn't because of hobbyists that it isn't definitive. It is because of escorts who are looking at the trees and won't back up and see the forest.
This is tragic. One of the things that has affected me most in dealing with the hobby was personally meeting women -- fine and decent women -- who had been physically abused and verbally degraded by clients; in one case immediately before our meeting. My impulse (impulse, NOT intention!) is to choke the life out of men who do that.
And, the risk to good and decent women is only *increased* when a provider fails to THINK before mis-using those lists.
Kz1 and Ally -- thank you for bringing this VERY important issue to public notice!
Oh ... and please ... let's discuss this as an ISSUE and at least TRY not to make it personal.
But the big thing here is getting my name off of this site..........That sums it up.........please help
