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Interesting article for sure.

I have had discussions out here where I have referred to "providers" as "prostitutes" and hobbyist as "tricks" or "johns" but some of the "She really got off" type ppl thinks this is real.

Just sayin but interesting article regardless.

I liked reading the article.   It was nice to see a perspective or viewpoint of a hobbyist who enjoys the female companionship and longer term total relationship/friendship with a provider as much or more than just the sex aspect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HApbmtryRYk

Yes, I'm posting an alias. I never do that. This article rang true in some manners for me, not others. I, personally, have never been socially awkward or have trouble talking to women. This is the social assumption given to men who visit these quarters.  In fact, almost all my friends are women. I relate better to women than to men as a general rule, maybe because I have several sisters and no brothers. However, the social stigma of this world and my participation in it, has, at times, brought me close to abandoning it. Like this present time.  

Why have I participated?  

I shouldn't. I'm married. She's a wonderful woman, absolutely the best. I wouldn't dream of leaving her. Except we don't "do" physical intimacy. Why? Years ago we had a near death experience with a child. It was awful. Unless you've been there, you can't imagine what it's like holding your child in your arms trying to hold death at bay. At that deep moment you would do anything, trade anything. The miracle doctors at Children's did, well, miracles. Now, my child is healthy, strong and smart (honors student). Considering where my little one was in a coma years ago I'd never have dared hoped for that outcome. Where I attribute this miracle to Children's, my wife attributes this to her new awaking in religion. I'm not wired that way. To her, her religion suggests many taboos in intimacy as the purpose of intimacy, in her religion's eyes, is only procreation.  Therefore we have extremely little intimacy sexually. Oral sex is wrong to her, as are any positions or toys or masturbation. Sex only happens once every year or every other or third year out of her pity on me. But is followed by her feeling badly about herself about what we just performed, since it wasn't for the purpose of having children. I'm wired to put her needs before mine so I don't want her to feel this way. Therefore we rarely are physically intimate.

So. I'm left with certain choices; leave my marriage to seek a girlfriend, etc. Yeah I could do that. But I'm not going to. I love my wife and my kids too much for that. Or I can resign myself to effectively no sex for the rest of my life; or I can seek physical intimacy here. After almost 5 years of no sex, no physical intimacy, nothing, just being sexually intimate again, having what I've lost to the circumstance of events and conservative restraints of her religion, is, well, ironically, heavenly.  

After about a year of this world on and off, I'm not sure I want to continue, yet my physical needs and desires might only allow me to stay away so long. Is that simply an excuse, a weakness? Probably. I have a lot to lose by doing this and a lot to lose by not.  

I'm not looking for advice, or sympathy, or even for anyone to care. But there are reasons that some of us are here and it has nothing to do with being socially maladroit, or conceited and self centered or maladjusted as our society suggests must plague such men who participate in this world. To society, the women providers are victims, substance abusers, etc, while the men are pathetic and creeps; perverts, or against women, etc.  

Well, I don't know any victims or abusers. I'm thankful for the wonderful times by the absolutely wonderful women I've seen here in the past 12 months. I know what's an act and what is genuine, and the few ladies I've seen here have all shared a portion of their genuine selves with me. I'm a richer person because of it. They are successful women who chose their path and most are successful businesswomen. Will I continue? I don't know. Society places a high social and legal stigma on this and it's not fair to anyone involved, women or men. I don't want to be lumped into society's preconceived notion of what I am simply by participating in this world.  

Sometimes we simply find ourselves between a rock and a hard place. The would would be better if we judged less and sought to understand more

Very well said... and probably very true for many of us who have become members of this community. For me, it was 15 years with no physical intimacy..and finally a year ago, I took the "plunge". My issue is that a great provider, who has retired, and I  are now an item. I crossed the line and I have to figure out how to withdraw without destroying the life of someone I have become very involved with and care forvery much. Living a double life is difficult & expensive. The life of the former provider is much better because of my involvement. She says that her life as a provider was damaging and alienating.. she has become part of "society" rather than observing it from the outside looking in.  
When I started, I said I wanted a regular relationship with a woman to replace the lack of intimacy in my normal life. I have that now.. but finacially it has to stop.. emotionally, I don't want it to stop.  
There is a price that can be greater than the expense that we have for a single visit to a woman. People are people and people have feelings whether we like it or not.  I have a choice to make now.. leave my wife of 40 years for a gorgeous much younger woman or break it off and know that I have created a world for someone that can not be sustained and will end. a horrible choice.. so beware.. and be aware..

hell, my handle here is an alias as it is, LMAO!

So I will chime in as well on the topic at hand.... why do I do it?

on the one hand, because I can.  

on the other hand, because it fills an unfulfilled need. Yes, I am married, and like others who have posted above, love my wife and will not destroy what we have by leaving her for another woman.  However, there are some things that I need in a physical sense that she cannot or will not provide.  I love oral, to give and receive- she just does not want to go there- she d is not as in tune with her sexuality as many of the other women I have been with.  Also, she is not handling her age as well as I am (both in our 50's) and her aches and pains and physical limitations leave me without the opportunity to really get my game on, so to speak, with her- so I hook up with one of the wonderful slightly younger ladies I see from time to time so I can have a no-holds barred, wild assed romp of a fuck now and then.  It is something I need, and enjoy immensely.  Having to always be so gentle with the wife (fibromyalgia- everything can hurt her sometimes) leaves me empty, when I need to grab a hold of a responsive woman and fuck like there is no tomorrow.  Call me what you will, it is a real physical, emotional and psychological need for a man, an expression of his manhood, that needs to be expressed now and then to maintain his sanity.    

And yes, they do become friends of a sort after you have been together a few times, and much of the attraction is being able to unload mentally and emotionally with someone who will not judge you, just listen and accept you for who you are, is priceless.  So they really provide a very multi-leveled 'service' to the men who see them.

I think the stats from the Rhode Island experience are very interesting- says a great deal about what a really free society could be like.........