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Re: Difference between Affair and Hobbying?
johngaltnh 6 Reviews 991 reads
posted

Let me add that if one has a husband, wife, or other person who has an expectation of *monogamy* they are not especially likely to split hairs in determining the difference between a "hobby" and an "affair." Rather, they will draw the distinction between "faithfulness" and "infidelity." Guess which side of that line "hobbying" lands on?

Obviously, there is a difference -- emotionally -- between an affair and hobbying. An affair is emotional and -- even if no sex is involved -- can jeopardize your ability to emotionally connect with your S.O.. In that respect, hobbying is much much safer.

But do not expect someone who has a reasonable expectation of a monopoly on your physical affections to be cool with hobbying.



maturelvr511725 reads

A recent post made a distinction between having an affair and hobbying.  To the man, there is a difference - one has an emotional connection and the other is more surfacial.  

What about to the wife / SO of a man?  Would they make the same distinction?

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sexymarafouru1557 reads

An affair is an affair, it means an emotional attachment.  Of course it matters to your wife or SO, it means you are having a relationship with another woman.  You are confiding in this other women and you go out of your way to spend time with her.  Hobbying is No Strings Attached, you may feel a connection with the lady but you know your boundries.  In the hobby, you know she's not going to call you out of the blue, she's not going to expect to spend the holidays with you, etc.  There should be no drama involved, that to me is the best way to seperate. If drama is part of the equation, you have yourself an affair.

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johngaltnh992 reads

Let me add that if one has a husband, wife, or other person who has an expectation of *monogamy* they are not especially likely to split hairs in determining the difference between a "hobby" and an "affair." Rather, they will draw the distinction between "faithfulness" and "infidelity." Guess which side of that line "hobbying" lands on?

Obviously, there is a difference -- emotionally -- between an affair and hobbying. An affair is emotional and -- even if no sex is involved -- can jeopardize your ability to emotionally connect with your S.O.. In that respect, hobbying is much much safer.

But do not expect someone who has a reasonable expectation of a monopoly on your physical affections to be cool with hobbying.



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countryguy81468 reads

From the perspective of a married man whose home life has deteriorated, an affair can be sparked simply by meeting an interesting and sexually attractive woman who proves willing to go to bed with him.  There's not necessarily any love or other deep emotion involved.  In many cases, the woman is filling a similar void in her own life.

So, how is such an affair for him different from hobbying?  In the hobby, his money would go straight to the provider's pocketbook.  In the affair, it goes sideways to restaurants, theatres and travel agencies.

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Bostonguy571877 reads

I think you will find that different women will view this differently.  There are ladies out there who view going to a strip club as cheating so that particular segment is going to view any sort of sex as cheating as well.  On the other hand, there are ladies who feel that sex without emotional involvement is not cheating and they are relatively OK with it.

The wild card of course is the fact that many men do end up becoming emotionally attached to sex workers as much as they may deny it.

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Boris9931486 reads


Generally, with appointments you are there to enjoy yourself  and not necessarily share a lot of emotional stuff. Not to say that doesn't happen, but by and large you are there for the release. "Chemistry" is important for a session to be great but in an affair there is more of an emotional commitment that is deeper than you typical session. You may share parts of your life in an affair that would really hurt your spouse if they were to find out. If your wife/ SO found out that you had shared a guarded secret then that would hurt her on a much deeper level.

Some women are able to move past the incident it if is ONLY about the sex, they do not want to think they are competing for your heart also.

You can argue that is splitting hairs, but I think there are a lot of differences between an affair and hobbying

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AmberAshley2271 reads

Hobbyists. I dont get to eet many wives in my line of "fun" but I doubt there are many out there that would be Ok w knowing her S.O. is seeing providers and not label it as "cheating"
Just my opinion =)

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SexyFelicity1798 reads

If you are merely enjoying the sexual dynamic with someone else you are cheating. If you are planning out leaving her for the new model that is an affair I would guess. Affairs could end in divorces where cheating may end in making up? Who knows. Don't think about it just have fun and know it could be worse you could hook up with some civvie drama like the lady about said and you could end your marriage. A civvie will fall in love with you and could be t.r.o.u.b.l.e. Business friendships are great because you pay the girl to leave and only be at your beck and call. You get the best of the person not the drama associated with creating real feelings with a civvie.

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bigbee1136 reads

I've always dabbled in the hobby and also had two longer term affairs over the years. The only difference if my SO found out is she'd cut my balls off while I slept with a sharp knife for an affair and with a dull knife for hobbying :)

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