for married guys.if they're not married (just a girlfriend) it's probably higher.

Is it cheating if they think of someone else while masturbating? Is watching porn while masturbating cheating? Is going to a massage parlor cheating? Is paying for a provider cheating? Of course the same argument could be used about having sex with a civvie, if it's strictly physical with no emotional commitment or time spent doing anything other than sex.

Some would define any of the above as cheating, while most would consider only a subset of the above to be cheating.

any chance we get we're gonna do it

How many men would like to have sex or relationships with other woman? 100%
How many do? who knows.
Philosophically, does it really matter if the action is carried upon?
Flirting with a coworker for 2 years and developing a secret passion for her is "cheating" in my book, even if nothing physical happens, and probably more than having casual sex with little if any emotional implications with a stranger just for the sexual thrill. By those standards I would say 100% of the population cheats at some point.

The problem is the embedded notion that we own our partner. We do not. If you remove that idea the concept of cheating dies there. We are forced by society to make impossible promises that then cause a lot of damage because we cannot live up to them. If we were not expected to make them, if we were not brainwashed that our partner has to do as we wish, this world would have more love and lifetime partnerships/frienships with strong and solid emotional links and less fear, insecurty, anger, guilt, shame and pain.

So many fantastic relationships would be alive if it wasn't for these false beliefs and promises we live under.

And to digress further, if we want to use the word "cheating" in a relationship we could add to its definition: having someone make a promise he/she cannot live up to and made during a moment of infatuation in which rational thinking is impaired.

I dont see that all that many step out and take action on their fantasies.
The absolute fear of getting caught is what binds their marriage and the resuls of such and not their vows.

Now of those who cheat doing so with the pros I believe as we as a society become more open and have sexuality in our faces more and more every day I think this is becoming more accepted and less taboo.

not accepted openly in society but its an acceptable  *dirty lil secret*

just my 2cents...

Good question
I guess anything beyond kissing. Was just wondering.. and thought it would be a great topic to discuss.

You can come up with any lame excuses you want, if you are in a committed relationship, married or dating. If your out having a psychical relationship with some else your cheating.
There is no gray area in this question, it's pretty black and white.

Look you can cloud cheating with a definition of what is, masturbation, fantasizing about another person,  or whatever else you can think of, but it simple breaks down to if your in a relationship and your seeing someone on the side pro or civive it's cheating.

As for snaporaz comments about owning our partners and making impossible promises. Come on man really, What are living in the middle age or some strict Islamic state, owning your partner since then. As for making impossible promises, I'm sure every guy who cheats on their partner has made a promise to themselves that they are not going to tell them about it. It's not an impossible promise, it a matter of morals, and self control. You have it or you don't.

It sounds like people are trying to justify cheating, look if your already on this board then you don't have to worry about that. You have already justified it, so go out and have some fun.

The only thing I think is funny about this is some provider are trying to make cheating sound like it's no big deal. Funny since married guys who cheat are there bread and butter in their  business.


Just my 2cents worth





Don't look you might be cheating on someone (hahahaha)

Regardless if you are married, or engaged, or dating, or whatever - if you do something with anyone, but would be afraid/embarrassed to tell your partner about it, that's cheating.

By the way, I have seen polls where men are asked about their fidelity, and I seem to recall the number of 15% who said that they have cheated, which could mean one of two thing:

Either only 15% are unfaithful, or 85% of men lie to pollsters.

I have never cheated on anyone.

I am in a commited relationship but work is work. Its seperate from my real life.
AND my partner agrees. so we both agree when Im working I am not cheating.

Cheating is only a big deal if its a big deal to you.
There are ppl in commited relationships who swing its also not considered cheating to them.

Your relationship has its boundries, as does mine. My boundries may have a bit more sway in them but both of us, those in the relationship in question are perfectly fine with the lines that are drawn.

If I was seeing someone on the side...sneaking around to do so now THAT to myself and my SO would be cheating.
Thats not the case though.

We all draw the line where we feel comfortable ad its noone elses place to say you are right or wrong. Its a comfort level is all.

Is my SO allowed in our relationship to sneak around behind my back and see someone? No way! And neither am I. Can he see escorts if he wants to. As long as hes payin them he can.
Its a personal choice. So NO I dont see things the way you do but thats all good as well. AND has nothing to do with buttering my bread as you suggested.

Nic

I completely agree with Lamont's post.  Nicole also brings up a great point: if you're trying to figure out whether what you're doing is cheating or not, you should probably consider your partner's definition instead of your own.  

And if you need to think about it for more than 2 seconds, you're definitely cheating.

How about it? Or are we mostly a population of single guys?