Any advise would be greatly appreciated....

I have recently found out that a provider I have seen omce shares a mutual friend with me whom I work with. Now, I would still ike to see this girl as a provider, but may be in a situation where I would meet her outside our secret world with my mutual friend whom I work with.

Should I continue seeing her? Mention it to her in our next meeting? Not see her at all and hope she doesn't remember me?

BTW, I work with out mutual friend, and would hate to see this get out into the open at work. Our mutual friend may or may not know about the providers occupation.

HELP!

I would make a point, soon, to tell this provider about your mutual friend.  While she may very well be a professional and already understand the importance of protecting your privacy in any situation, why not arm her with the benefit of the same knowledge you already have?   Let her have a prepared reaction, in case this chance threesome meeting ever occurs.  Chances are good she'll easily understand and not compromise your situation.  I would do this whether or not you choose to limit your relationship with her.  However, if this provider is a true professional, I see no reason why you shouldn't still enjoy seeing her and have peace of mind, too.

-- Modified on 9/1/2004 8:46:31 AM

That was very well put Kacey and to the point. I would agree discretion is of the utmost importance. Putting her in a surprise situation may make her upset, uncomfortable and to be honest with you it's unfair to her. Talk with her, she should and will understand.

This happens much more often than most realize.
Most of the time gentleman sneak away from work or home at lunch or in between meetings to a location near by where they work or live and sooner or later you just might bump into somebody who knows somebody and so on.
Id bring up the situation as soon as possible if it's a serious concern that you have.
The lady most likely has just as much to worry about as you do if not more so. Many times providers are chastized more than hobbyists and she will most likely appreciate your honesty much more than you realize.
If the three of you do have the unplanned meeting your worried about then at least you'll both have had a chance to consider the situation before hand.
Best of luck!
Yours Amber

Having been on the other side of the situation myself I'd say Kacey, dogbone, & Amber are dead on!

   I was once seeing a provider who was very much under the radar, no web presence and word of mouth references only. I knew she owned her own company outside of the hobby. Discretion was very important to her, so I never really tried to dig to deep into her personal life. She was really only in it for her personal enjoyment, and made it perfectly clear she would never allow it to jepordize her career.

   After seeing her about a dozen times over an 18 month period I went to my SO's company X-mas party and was introduced to her boss. Guess who? I was stunned, but somehow managed to keep my cool and act halfway normal, she seemed cool as a cucumber. It was an incredibly uncomfortable evening for me!

   The next day I contacted her to talk about it. She told me that she knew who I was ahead of time, she had seen pictures of me, that is why she was able to act so cool & casual. She also admitted she was very concerned that I might not have the same reaction.

   As dogbone said the fact that she knowingly put me in that situation really PISSED ME OFF!

   As Amber pointed out she had as much, if not more, to lose than I did.

   So take Kacey's advice and give her a heads up so she will have the chance to have a prepared reaction.

   Looking back I'm still amazed by the fact that someone who valued discretion so much would take such a chance? I could get over the fact that she knew my SO, but never felt that I could forgive her for doing that to me. Frankly if I had known about it ahead of time it might have been a nice sexy secret to carry around for the evening.

Good Luck, NHughty