This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going coochy cooh...?", asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar.... you know... the frozen glass...". He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face"? She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres poochi pooh?" She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..."

The wife looks at him and said: "You want some dirty words cutie pie? SIT THE FUCK DOWN - DRINK YOUR FUCKIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKIN' MUG - EAT YOUR FUCKIN' SNACKS - YOU AREN'T GOING TO THE FUCKIN' BAR !!! GOT IT, ASSHOLE ?!?!"

good one, mel!

many years ago, my closest friend joe was about to marry sue in the natick area. a bunch of 'the guys' were attending the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, and the plan was that one of us would stand up around 10pm, stretch, yawn, and say "well guys, we'd better head back to the room now, we've got a big day tomorrow". then we'd take joe into boston to check out the strip club situation.

so we all play our parts, and as we stand up, sue says, "you're not going to boston, joe".

he turns beet red and stammers, "but sweetie... pookie... we're not going anywhere...."

she says, "you're damn right you're not". she's getting madder by the minute.... she stands up, knocking over a couple of drinks, grabs her blouse and yanks it (bra and all) up over her head and yells, "if these aren't good enough for you then you may as fucking well go to boston and stay there!"

lucky we had a semi-private room at the restaurant, so only the 26 people in attendance, two waiters, a waitress, and a couple of families just outside our room saw the display. i know the waiters enjoyed it, but i don't think her father or her grandmother were especially pleased she did, however, show up the next day, and they are still married, so no harm, no foul.

To both of you gentlemen: we have some catching up to dooo lol

meowwwwwwwwww lol

Mel

Re:To both of you gentlemen: we have some catching up to dooo lol

Have I got some tail DOH I means tales to share with you!!!!

Hi, Mel Here is something I posted the other day on one of the other boards.Here is a true "brat" story. A friend of mine was standing in a check-day type line at the bank and a young kid was being a pain in the butt, so his mother said that if he didn't behave she wouldn't take him to McDonalds. The kid replied, quite loudly, "If you don't take me to McDonalds, I will tell grandma that you had daddy's pee pee in your mouth last night." Mother and son quickly left the bank.