Hi All,

Curious as to what everyone's opinion is on References...  
If you haven't seen someone in almost a year and they continue to use you as a reference , what's up with that?

Any thoughts?

Much love,
Ka

END OF MESSAGE

You can say you met with the guy a year ago and he was okay...or whatever it is you say when you give a reference.  

You could also add that you have giving him a number of references since then and don't know why he does not have a more recent reference.

It could also be that he genuinely doesn't have a more recent reference.  Some of us only partake in the hobby part-time or when we're single, so when providers ask for a recent reference, it could be hard if we haven't seen anybody in a while.

some of us do not like the whole p411, date ck etc...routine as you never know where your info is going.  some providers do not take whitelists. some only want providers who have recent reviews and have a website. so quite frankly it is hard to get references. I can only really see indep's.  I have used the same providers a lot and am very thankful they pull thru for me. I have not seen them in a very long time too. But I guess they know I was a good guy and generous too. I would hope if they are getting sick of referencing me then they would let me know in advance or request I book again with them.; that's a fair request from the provider in my book anyway...just my 2 cents

i have no problem giving a reference for someone even if it is a while since i have last seen them. I am doing as much to help out the provider who is asking for the reference. i believe in Karma . i am also very honest with my references.  I was surprised when i contacted a very well known agency in Boston asking for a reference after two emails were ignored and they were very rude and basically told me that they don't give out references and then they hung up on me.

i have only been doing this since July and that was the only time i was flatly refused when asking for a referenc

...With the understanding (or simple expectation) that the new provider will "just know" who she is.

I've had guys with literally dozens (or hundreds) of national references, Whitelists, Preferred411 referrals offer me up each time they meet someone new in Boston because they know I have worked in Boston for years and they expect that most girls are aware of me and will trust my word.

So I don't take it personally, they're just trying to get it done.  If a client knows that you are rock solid when it comes to responding to your email they'll name drop you faster than some random he saw who no one knows and who responds to her email half the time .  That kind of girl is probably unreliable in regards to a reference check whereas you are probably very reliable.  The client wants the appointment and if it requires a reference...of course he uses the girl whose name carries the most weight and is most likely to kick it back.

I have a reference policy on my website which says that I will provide them for 6 months...but really I will send out comments for clients for years with the details about their physical looks, preferences and tempo that I remember with the caveat that I haven't seen them in a real long time and that she should ask for a more recent reference if its possible.

A lot of guys do not hobby every single week or every single month.  Many do it so infrequently that they only have that "annual" reference.  If I've met them I will attest to what they were like then so that the girl can proceed how she would like knowing that at least one reputable provider met him without incident.  I appreciate when other girls do this for me.

If someone is abusing me as a reference (has met multiple companions yet asks that I respond to an email on his behalf every week) I will say point blank "please circulate your references" or "I've only met you once, four years ago...lets be reasonable about these reference checks".  LOL

-- Modified on 4/4/2014 6:23:51 PM

...........it's been much too long since I heard your giggle!

And speaking of "remember me"......a pic for a small stroll back in time, honey.
:-*

Sorry if this sounds negative but this is a pretty shitty attitude. There is nothing wrong with asking for a reference from a woman you haven't seen for a while, especially if you have been out of the hobby due to relationships or work. It's a pain in the ass sometimes to get and maintain references, and a lot of providers, in my experience, give no other option for verification. I've been asked for as many as 4 references all within the past 6 months and all must have at least 10+ reviews. I have 4 references but only two in the past 6 months and they had between 6 and 8 reviews each.  

I understand the need for references but sometimes there just needs to be other options, such as what Holly said. Not all providers--such as UTR ones--or agencies give references. Not all providers stick around for more than a few months. Many providers know this and leave other options on the table or will even just accept a single reference from a top provider etc.. In the end it's up to the provider to decide what's best for themselves; but they should let the client know in person or at least through an email what their policies are.

Sometimes using references to get screened should lead to new "referees" after the meeting, right.

 Well, by way of example, in the last 3 weeks I have scheduled to see meet three visiting providers.  In order to do this I had to ask, once again some of my tried and trusted ladies to provide references for me, which they kindly did, three times!

Now, as luck would have it, after scheduling, all 3 providers separately postponed their trips to Boston, due to "not enough bookings, to make the trip worthwhile after all".   I don't blame those providers, I understand their positions.

But now, I have asked a lot of my steady referees, and would need to ask them again for future screenings because of misfortune.  I could well understand their saying to themselves, why on earth does he keep turning to me, when I have given him several recent references. They might get ticked off, or even worse think....something is fishy here and think maybe I should hold off verifying him again?  

The correct action is to revisit with those wonderful ladies and re-up my credentials so to speak.  

But I write this to illustrate that it sometimes is not as obvious as you might think.

If I've seen a gentleman and he was safe and reliable.  I do usually state when and how many times I saw him.  

Some gentlemen do not hobby very often, only when they see someone who specifically catches their attention.  Others feel that certain providers they have seen will be insulted if they are seeing someone else and not them on a particular visit to the area.

As I have discovered, just because I had no problems and all went well, does not mean that someone else's experience will be the same.  Also you need to understand that circumstances change.  You need to screen, communicate, and form your own opinion. References are only one of many tools.  On 2 occasions recently ladies have written to tell me that gentlemen I have given okays for were late or no shows.  I can only speak for my own experience with him.  That is why it is better to get a few references or screen other information.  To that end, I will go back further than a year to verify a gentleman with a few providers if it gives me better peace of mind

who could forget you my dear .... or the Bailey's nips ...lol

All great points of views-Thank you.

 I have no problem giving a reference, especially when it comes to helping out a provider or Gent. I guess my issue is that when certain clients consistently use you as a form of reference when I know they have seen other providers since the initial reference I've given, smh

How well did you know him, a year ago?  

I have men that I've seen regularly for *several* years, who, do to life circumstances, have moved on (usually in the geographical sense). If I had known someone very well for several years, but hadn't seen them in the last 8 months, then certainly I can understand if they still use me as a reference.

If I saw someone *once* a year or more ago? Not only is that just a touch odd, but it can raise some red flags.