you are behind closed doors.

However, you can make clothing requests anytime, and you can request things like body rubs, or perhaps even sploshing as that does not imply any sexual contact.

Other items are video or photography, whether you'd like to go out dining, see a movie, etc.

I'm confused. Not that that's unusual for me, but I'd appreciate any help from experienced hobbyists and providers. I'm uncertain about when is the appropriate time to discuss specific requests.  I have noticed where many providers will caution you not to use explicit language, but then will have a section on the contact form asking if you have further questions or requests. My question:  when and how is it appropriate to make special requests?  (Specifically, I'm a lover of the Greek Isles as well as DATY/DATO. When I die, I'd like to go out smothered in nectar. Not that you needed to know that, but I'm an over-sharer!). I've been out of the Hobby for approximately 9 years and I'd really hate to offend any Provider.  There is nothing but respect here for the valuable service they provide.  I'll deeply appreciate any and all responses either via pm or in this thread. THANK YOU!

Some people will say that discussion of anything sexual automatically warrants no response but I'm inclined to think that many if not most providers will answer dealbreaker sorts of questions if you gingerly broach the topic.  

There are old school ladies who can only answer you in a relaxed conversation on the telephone &other ladies who will under no circumstances answer anything even remotely sexual or having to do with gifts.

Take your cues from the provider herself.  If a provider has a buttoned up, reserved presentation there may be a lot less wiggle room than if you're dealing with someone whose websites & ads feature saucy language.
If a girl has a special "PSE" rate that is $200+ her "GFE" rate, naturally that arouses a question of what is included in "PSE" and she's used to fielding those kinds of questions.  If a girl has has photographs and a email or phone number...but zero rates..of course she expects you to ask and she will probably answer other questions of a sexual nature.

I'd say you can always just ask respectfully and cover yourself on the backend by apologizing in advance.
I'm pretty relaxed, but when someone gets a little bit too sensitive in conversation I have no problem asking that it be dialed back (and screening especially carefully).
If you think that it could be over-the-top and wind your email/form/PM in the trash can with the provider, try tippy toing around the subject & make references any review that describes what you're looking for (I really enjoyed XXXs review of you, is time with you really like that?)...we're very good at reading between the lines lol.

Good luck!

 
(Oh and you have an email )

In my opinion, if you need this information in deciding who to meet, you need to be satisfied with the  information available in the published reviews which  really should cover those topics. If you really need to ask the provider, you are more likely  to get a  favorable response  towards the end of your first appointment, after you have developed some sort of preliminary relationship with the provider. I think questions like that are seldom going to be well received if they come from a stranger.

Sexy questions can be tricky and as others stated the degree of tolerance varies per provider.  Reviews seem to be the greatest resource for specifics but if you have questions above and beyond: best to ask after screening.  For example some of us enjoy role play. Obviously the actual role needs to be discussed prior to meeting.  Often the content crosses over the line into the red zone. Personally I screen and then have fun with the details.  Everyone is different naturally but most are more comfortable after screening.  Welcome back! Xo

I had forgotten how truly helpful folks (Hobbyists and Providers) could be around here.  Nice to know that some things don't change. Big thanks to Mr. F, Trav, Lisa and Ally for your well-considered, thoughtful replies. (And Ally, a response is en route to you as well.).

The correct etiquette is to check the providers reviews to see if she provides the services that you are seeking, Then book the appointment, and show up with your envelope. Then get comfortable, and once play time has started, its OK to make requests. DO NOT walk in and ask hey baby will you do greek, as you may end up getting walked to the door.