Hi all - posting on an alias as I don't want to muddy the waters. But I'm a reputable hobbyist who has visited with some of the top providers in Boston.  

So here's what I need advice for. I made an appointment through backpage over the weekend for Thursday night. First thing Monday (not lucky enough to have the day off) I got put on a work trip for the week. I immediately let the provider know I was unable to make it and wanted to reschedule.  

The provider is now demanding a cancellation fee, of which was not brought to my attention during booking. The provider is threatening to black list me if I don't pay. I've been trying to reschedule instead of the cancellation fee but provider isnt cooperating.  

Isn't 4 days enough time to let you lovely providers know?
I don't really want to call them out here as that's not my style but I feel like I'm being blackmailed.  
Is this common practice? I've had scheduling conflicts in the past and a few days notice is plenty of time from what I've seen.  

Thoughts/advice would b greatly appreciated.

Sometimes Business $hit happens.  On both sides of the equation it is possible.

-- Modified on 1/20/2015 1:05:33 PM

Is this a well known Boston provider or a well known visiting provider or an Agency?
Most well established ladies would not have a problem with you canceling 4 days early.

Sounds like to me this is a case of blackmail. I wouldn't pay and tell them to take a hike.
If they still threaten to blacklist you, tell them you will take this to the TER board(if they even know what that this).

The only thing is your real handle will come out of this and if your a reputable hobbyist and have a good reputation  
with the ladies this will not hurt you at all. Most people would understand.  

Hopefully the provider is only communication with you thru Email, once you tell them you don't plan on paying them,
block their email and don't answer them if they try other way to contact you.  

Paying them only means they can blackmail again.  

Just my thoughts on this subjec

Most the higher end ladies. Not that us back page gals are not. But if you look around the truly exclusive well established ladies. They state they need a 24 hour notice for your cancelation.

 
      Not always. But sometimes you do get what you pay for and where some but not all of us on back page are still classy and treat the clients good. That is more than reasonable enough time to find a replacement to fill your time slot, the main reason for a deposit should be to prevent yourself from falling behind. Getting stood up altogether same day. When you may not have another day off that week to make up for that lost afternoon.  

   I never requested a fee but one time. It was a month ago and the man booked an appt, I rushed a regular out to get him here. I was so rushed and stressed by his behavior I becam vomiting . I was still in first trimester and his demeanor was spazzy and rushed and for me i was unfortunatly worried about rent bills cab fair to counseling, I was willing to be pulled through a rigamaroo with hopes of a second appt that day before counceling.  

   The hour past he now decides he thinks i sounded too busy for him . With out telling me this was his thoughts and I am spending time with fake eye lashes and make up. Then he string me along between 11 am and one pm making it have been not possible to have booked another in his place. Yet there were plenty of others I couldve called back and dealt with rather than his games.  

 
    Having just recovered from double breast biopsies. With eveiction notices coming to door and bills piling up. I had had enough and when he began calling me to reschedule i cried and explain to him how he does not understand that when they do this to us, We cannot get that afternoon of our lives back ever. Not all of us have big savings accounts or rich husbands and you never quite know how the ladies life is going, but every ones time is valuable.  

 
      I told him if he choose to reschedule i want an hour appt paid in full to make up for what he did to me that day.....I cannot go back and re do that day and book another instead of him. The stress he put me under had me vomitting I was so upset, yet first trimester you do through up alot in morning anyhow, but that day it was worse. I was morning sickness every day for 3 months.  

 

                 he was going on and on on the phone about his life and some job he had for me as a nanny or something, Mean while not being understanding that i too have an agenda and thinsg i am trying to do . I am not here to just talk endlessly to strangers that never plan on even showing, The man got my address then as i left for counseling I was followed in a caravan and a man was taking photos of me, He claims it was not him but where he pretend to want appt I feel the man stalking me after this incident was him.

 
                   I feel 4 days is plenty of time to find a new client to fill your slot and your being more than reasonable. That is not grounds for black listing.   Maybe you should try hobbying once a month instead of once a week and just use higher quality because I know for me i am not cheap. But you wouldnt have to deal with nonsense like that. I never asked any one for a deposit to cover how badly they had put me out but that one man several months ago. Never in over ten years did i ask some one to make it up to me what they did but this one guy, I also never experience any one play a game as he did and consume so much time n energy of me, he kept acting like he wanted to come then dragging it out forcing me to not be able to book some one else in his place, like oh yes um call me at noon. Then at noon it was oh i promise one, let me just talk to my secretary!

 
                       I have been making rent payments and bills are caught up I am no longer recovering from painfull surgury. But do have to get a huge tumor removed asap or it will continue to grow in my left breats and it is uncomforatble to me at times. It is about size golf ball but thank fully non cancerous. But i do have now two huge scars on both breasts from the biopsies and was in pain after and couldnt jog or anything.  
                          I actually learned from this experience and refuse to do excessive emails and texts or talking with potential clients so i will not be a victom of this treatment in future. I politely recomend they just keep things short n sweet prior to booking and that otc talking time is cool with me after and before our paid session. Sometimes up to an hour of otc shooting the shit happen at my appts. Sometimes longer!  
                I just avoid this mess altogether , putting hours of time in for appts that never had planned on coming anyhow.

 
I simply am adement about , call me lets get aquainted on phone with some polite conversation but do not allow them to begin to irratate me via phone/text or eat into my personal life too much time.

 

    I am ok with otc talking taking our time after the appt drinking water and talking, both us taking showers as long as we like. I just make a point to not be on phone with these guys all aternoon since alot times those same callers seem to never come.  

 

 

 
               Save the emails cancel by email and state it is 4 days notice. Then i would contact another provider to have the black list site notified in advance

would let her know your not "leaving her hanging" so to speak, I mean for me that guy strung me along all afternoon, yeah i will be on way, and oh yeah i got a nanny job for you with a free car, he was just all over the lace. I was interested in the nanny job being pregnant and about to have an infant that would be a job i could do aside from this, But i realize these guys have to proove to me they are serious about an appt, first then i will save the making friends and talking and networking for after the appt and only if my schedule permits.

 

             as of now i am behind on rent and about to have a baby i cannot be being a flake and allowing randoms guys to keep me on the phone 2-3 hours then never showing for a paid appt....

 
but luckily my disclaimer is on the site and on my away message in the email and i also make sure they grasp I am ahuman trying to make it in this world just like you, I cannot keep that pace to have 15 friendly emails after our appt week after i meet you that is not fair to expect that of me or any one. ....

 

 
another guy kept emailing after the apt to see how things are going with the new sex toys ask me if i had been to the web sites he recomended that sell sex toys,

 
I had told him i owe rent, I also dont even have a crib yet for my bedroom for the baby among other things, Shopping for sex toys at this time of my life and then emailing about it for fun is not on my daily tasks list.

 
I did also put all my skinny clothing in a storage unit, rented and paid for astorage unit, to make room for my new family memebr in june!

I got a entire new and high end {macys} all njice clothing even a 80 dollar dress to answer door in for customer, that fits and is designed for maternity . So i have all the clothing i need I had to buy a new wardrobe! and not only did I do that i even got a few items just thigh highs and underwear from agent provocateur on newbury. new garters, new under wear all new bras!

 

all new pajamas and running suits t shirts, jeans, ..................

 

and i gave my lanlord some rent this month and last month but not even half the monthly rent, they are luckily not takin me to court yet, i did show the landlord my surgury papers,  

 

but neverthe less, 4 days is plenty of time to respond to other emails and book a new person,  

That is not fair and i feel they are scamming you or simply just not a high class business person and you should reconsider spending a little more to get better service. because that is simply not reasonable business practice.... that is not going to work out well for her if there is a cancelation fee demanded, if given 4 days notice?

 

the whole point of a cancelation fee is if your un able to book a screened safe client in enough time and you have expenses and cannot make up for that lost time in same day cancelations,  

 
i know i will not have a cancelation fee if I get a cancelation, i am not opposed to posting on back page and taking a newbie last minute. if need be, I also simply will not allow too much time of mine be taken on phone unless I am certain they have showed up and paid for thier appt then i will allow some free social time before n after. to a point!!!!!!! if they start to take advantage then i will nip that in bud too. I am not clock watcher but please do not mistake my kindness for weakness and try to drain me or take advantage.

First off I really don't think black list is that big of a deal I was blacklisted by someone I called on back page and asked if she did halfs and she  started giving me shit I was very polite and said good bye she texted me back giving me all kinds of shit and said I was BL WHATEVER !!! It had never stopped me from seeing anyone . I wouldn't be that worried if I was you . I wouldn't give the provider a dime !!!  

Also not a lot of providers use BL because it's very expensive.  

is wise for her to take a look at the ladies charging 500 plus on ter and look at thier cancelation policies. Deamdning a cancelation policy, that is not to be deducted from a future visit.

 

threatening to black.list.

 

my only thoughts is that she may have already put hours of social time in with you and that , like me, that may be where she is angry you have taken so much her time, she cannot get back now,

 

in thAT CASE, SHE NEEDS TO DO WHAT i HAVE DONE AND JUST HAVE A VACATION RESPONSE AND DISCLAIMER ON THE WEB SITE, THAT SHE IS TRYING TO LEAVE THE HOTEL WITH A PROFIT.

 
     She like me may travel with a pet that cannot be left at home . I dont have my new car {yes i was given a 16 thousand dollar car by a family memebr}  

 
go me!

 
but for now rent is first! I take the train to the hotels in boston, then there a pet fee.  

 
then you get stuck buying food.........bringing it is pain in the neck but you can also cook before leaving home and prepare veggies with home made dip. fresh fruit,

 
never the less. She needs to learn from this experience she isnt gonna put hours of time in with cutsomers that havent gotten a paid appt yet,  

 
                  a no refuind deposit for an appt canceled 4 days out, that is not gonna fly, no one is gonna go along with that and in long run it will hurt business.  

 

had you called saME DAY SAYING YOU WILL BE THERE AT NOON, THEN NOON COME AND YOU DECIDE NOW ITS MORE LIKE 1,

 
 then before you knowit day is up and he has taken your entire day and made you sick with stress from his messin with you and being a spaz..

 OK THEN MAYBE IF SHE CHOOSES TO EVEN BOTHER WITH YOU SHE COULD SAY YOU OWE HER FOR THAT DAY YOU FUCKED HER OVER, aND IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER ENOUGH YOU MAKE IT UPO TO HER, IF NOT YOU MOVE ON.....

You gave her plenty of notice. You don't owe her anything. I wouldn't try to reschedule either.

She's a relatively new provider that has pretty good reviews. Another reason I'm surprised and baffled by her actions.  

Thanks for the advice

we all hate cancelations but things do come up. I will forgive a same day cancelation and give the client a second chance. I would never charge some one for cancelling especially for days in advance.  

I think you might have dodged a bullet because this person sounds like a nightmare

just my opinion

Carmina

Much appreciated for all the advice and thoughts.  

I'm hoping she sees this and realizes how unreasonable she is being.

I would tell her you'd like to reschedule, you're not paying the fee, and she can BL you and you'll make her name public on the boards for her shady behavior.  

She is trying to rip you off. 4 Days is PLENTY of time and more than sufficient. Mine is a 24 hour notice with a 25% cancellation feel and if it's less than 4 FOUR hours it's the full fee.

Four days? GTFO I'd be rolling in dough if I had that policy.

Also, if it's not clearly stated on her site I would call her on her bullshit.

Rae

END OF MESSAGE

My noon cancelled at 9:30 this morning via texy today, I hadn't started getting ready so I was fine with it. I obviously wasn't going to book another appointment for that time slot but I also wasn't about to get upset about it, he also didn't take up a bunch of my time. I viewed the cancellation as a chance to do something else, so I worked out a bit and did a little bit of shopping.

I've also worked in corporate America and smaller companies, it's your livelihood...you have to go or you have to take that last minute meeting.

A demand for a cancellation fee or she will BL you, what would she put in there that isn't going to have other ladies laugh and ignore it...lies?

I'd call her out here and now.

Not only is she blackmailing you, if she gets away with it she WILL do it to others.  If your story holds water, and I have no doubt it does, then this entire community will have your back.  I am dealing with a different yet similar situation and the local and travelling ladies have been super helpful and supportive (some Bozo is using my TER handle to get references and he's screwing up my rep)

I've thought about this a lot and definitely want to save people from the same experience but not really the type to call her out.  

So, yay or nay on giving her name here?

No need to make extra drama.  Contact her privately, politely inform her of your stance, indicate you do not want to resort to blacklisting each other.  If that fails then you can take the next step.

END OF MESSAGE

maybe like so many of us, we cant quite help ourselves, and maybe this lady likes to test people see what and how far she can push things.

 
I think that is a common trait with us. I like constructive critism, done in a nice way so i can correct the situation that is hurting business.  

 
not in a way to hurt business, then it creates hurt feelings toward clients and humans in general.!

 
         be the bigger person dont lash back by hurting her, cut n paste this thread send it to her, let her see other ladies that are well established in the biz are behind your opinion and on your side and agree with you here. I wrote a nocel on some advice she may find helpful.

 

 
I will summaraize:I beleive the message gets lost in the war stories i throw in for good story telling measure, You do know the irish we are known for being great story tellers........I suppose the fun in it gets lost when you cant see my theatrics when i retell a story. On the threads it loses its entertainment value and looks like rambling, If you see me story tell in the flesh you ll get it , !

 

 

in summary : Check the ladies web sites on here. Look at thier cancelation policies. Take some notes . Some say If less than 24 hour noitce, a payment in full deposit. It varies. And it shouldbe posted and the customer shouldbe made aware strict policies far in advance not after the fact.

 

 
 Any vitally imortant quirks with me, in my business , I make sure its not only on the web site but you can remind the guys in the ads, and on your away message.

I got behind by doing too much back n forth and talking texting dialogue. Then got stood up after puttin hours of time in I cant get back. Leaving me frazzled for the good drama free clients and not makiin a profit when at a hotel.

 
You gotta see what the issues are and fix them. I fixed it i just am careful not to put too much time in before i get an appt out the guys now. It has been working fine i just try n let them know i dont have time like that... so keep it short n sweet before hand, Then once i have your email and or number , balls is in my court dont keep callin or textin me daily, i ca call you with the schedule then see you that day, done.  

 

 

I asked a man ONE time for a non refundable deposit because he strung me along an entire day. I didnt want to watse me time with him further unless he made it up to me truth is i dont think he ever planed on coming any how i thinkl he was pranking me or something, I said no appt nless you can give a deposit for that day you changed from noon to one om, then it was one pm til two pm, then it turned into
     "oh i just figured you sounded too busy for me."
what? I had ten other numbers i couldve called but sat her in hooker make up I spent and hour doing, fake eyelashes and all,  

and i didnt have ALL DAY that day, I had that window before 3 pm and then only to try and land an appt.

 
rest day was other things not work I HAD to go do. and i had no money as in none in bank none for food, I fuckin needed an appt that afternoon and and couldve had any the million other guys come but no this one guy wanted to act like its a game.

 
he prentended to have al this other nice offers for me and seemed so promising,  

I figured if i choose to even fraternize with him in furture he needs to make that up to me, he knew my situation was an emergency situation yet left me handing, AND this was after retrieving my address, Then a guy follows me with a camera that same day!  

it was proberly that same guy .bastard

Absolutely!!!!  Use every avenue at your disposal!!!!

END OF MESSAGE

I don't ask cancellation fee but you got to offer me a place (I can drive to your hotel, office or home) . Email me here through TER site and I will reply with my phone number.
If you don't want to invite me to your house or office you can book a room in a hotel and I will drive there to come see you.  
Best hotel sites for online or by phone booking are hotwire.com or choicehotels.com