I'm quite new to BDSM, but it seems like founding a good mistress is way harder than finding a good provider.
Many mistresses don't have reviews, and if you can certainly try eros ads or similar, you are unlikely to be sure the lady is skilled and the right choice for your needs.
So, I'm trying to ask here being specific...

I'm not into pain. All I can manage is being "unconfortable", but what I'm really looking for is the "being helpless" feeling.

My perfect session would be the one where I submit to very restrictive bondage and foot fetish while my mistress uses dildos and strap-on on me for a long time (not in a rough way, but for a long time).
So, obviously these activities should really interest her.
Tease and denial would be a nice addition, but not needed.
Extended session are my fever.

I usually travel in Chicago, New York, Washington, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, so interested in finding mistresses based in these cities or vicinities.

I'd be very thankful for any suggestion

This way, one might find it easier to contact you via pm.



and umm Im available

I understand an alias is not the best choice, but I love to indulge in regular hobbying, too.
Maybe is just my concern but I prefer not to mix the two worlds

It may not necessarily be harder, I think it is different. BC just like fs providers, each of the pro dommes are very different in how we deliver during our sessions. For instance I am not a sadist......I cannot master that art. My very good friend is a sadist, but she cannot wrap her head around dressing a man up in manty panties....I have a collection of undies, bras, shoes, and all that just for my bdsm clients.


With FS providers you are looking for a skill set that matches your fantasy AND YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING....plus you have to be able to trust this person.

With a Mistress you are looking for a skill set that matches your fantasy AND YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING....plus you have to be able to trust this person.

Its the same thing but you are looking for two completely different skill sets.....ie unless you need a sloppy blow job during your bdsm session.....you can skip that in your search. So a Pro Domme who is not into giving oral would not be a deal breaker.....conversely a provider who was not into giving oral may want to reconsider her choice of work.

Off the top of my head if I were looking for a Top I would avoid the following types:

One who is in a rush to do a session....and does not thoroughly interview you to learn your hard limits, your questionables, your soft limits, and what gets your engines humming.....and you may need to learn theirs....some switches will switch in the middle of a session.

(FS providers probably won't need to interview you)

If he/she is drunk and or high...or has a chemical dependency issue....RUN LIKE HELL. I can think of a scarier situation than a high top, sub restrained and the top has an anal hook in their hands....or Gawd help you if they pass out.

(FS providers probably shouldn't, but we can do a session VERY buzzed....there won't be a sharp steel object going up their clients ass)

I would never bottom for someone who has not been a bottom....or at the very least a switch. I prefer to know this person understands how their tools feel.

(FS providers may not ever use a strap on with their client)

Do you need a domme who has a dungeon? if so how much and what sort of equipment is going to work out for your needs? Same train of thought with her collection of toys.

(FS providers may not offer incall and if they do, they have no need for a horse bench)(although it is a nice piece of furniture)

Outside of her using a strap on...on you, are you looking for full service or any sexual contact with her?


(a FS provider need not be a FS provider if fs is not on the menu....although the no sex trend seems to be going away.... BDSM providers can get away with no sexual contact...)

I'm not sure if she does strap-on play, and suspect she doesn't but it would definitely be worthwhile to ask. She's currently overseas but will be back in NYC in September. She does some traveling. Highly recommended!

I am a big fan on taping instead of the usual cuffs...

How long can you keep your legs in the air? lol

Bella Training

Great reply...

So many guys don't realize why we interview to make sure our services meet their expectations as a good fit. Any responsible domina will ask you questions to explore the fantasy!

Bondassage. http://bondassage.com/ It doesn't get much more helpless than being bound to a table, deprived of both your sight and hearing. Bondassage is also good for novices as well as more experienced individuals precisely because the session is extremely easy to tailor to one's limitations or interests.

Myself (Chicago based) and a girlfriend (Vegas based) are such two certified practitioners. You can see the whole group of certified providers here:http://bondassage.com/practitioners.html Some come from an FBSM background, some come from a Domme background, some (like myself) come from a full companionship/escort background, so finding one that suits your needs is very doable.