i want to know who i can write to to reconsider how they award points and rate BDSM providers.

Some BDSM providers do not include sex in their service.  It is about the power exchange and the giving/sharing of their skills to a client.  Some BDSM providers do allow sex in their service, and there is a wide variety of their limits in this area.

Currently, the TER rating system of points is about sex acts, what do you perform, not how well you perform what you do.

A BDSM provider can have experience, take a client to an extreme Dom high in her absolute submission to his will, take an extreme caning or 2 - 3 enema's in an hour or any other list of stressful and extreme play and only get a 7 in her performance unless.....

TERSupport wrote:
Hello,

We are contacting you regarding your posted review on SubMissAnn.

We have had to alter her Performance score to reflect the services she offers.

In order to keep our performance ratings consistent, we set up the following system: An escort provider may only eligible to earn up to a 7, unless she also willing to performs the following during a session: Kisses With Tongue, Bare-Back Blow Job, Really Bi, Anal Sex, or More than One Guy. The addition of each offering will raise the score she is eligible for by one point.

As provider does not offer some of the above services, her maximum Performance score can, currently, only be 8.

Thank you for understanding.

Thank you for the support,
--TER Support Staff



The problem is clearly stated in this letter.  We are not "escort providers".  The TER rating system compares apples with oranges.  It needs to be redone to encourage BDSM providers to excel in their trade and be rated as BDSM providers.

or huge ass banner stating that no matter how excellent an BDSM provider is, she/he only gets a 7 unless she/he puts out as an escort.

i personally find this current system insulting to me and my fellow BDSM sisters and brothers.

~a

they offer a much more insightful way to learn what may happen in a  session.  There's such a wide variety of practices that I'm not sure anything short of a seperate type profile for the review would be of use.

My session today - started with my Domme challenging me to a "fight" with the winner getting to fuck the loser.  I was bitch slapped around the room, pushed onto the bed, bitch slapped more, choked, vine pinned, slapped some more, hand over mouth smothering, more bitch slapping, biting and spitting until I cried Mommy.  Flush with victory, my Domme tied me butt up on the bed, donned our strap-on dildo and "raped" me at length with hard thrusting with choking. Then her panties came off, I was already nude, for a blistering over the knee with her hand and hair brush, leaving me in agonizing pain and incredible pleasure from rubbing against her bare hips and thighs while she lit me up.  After worshipping her underarms, breasts, belly, and ass she order me to worship her tattoos, then worship her ass again, back over that incredible lap for another blistering spanking and finally allowed me to rub against her perfect ass until I blew.  After clean up, wonderful after care with cuddling and talking while I recovered and reveled in closeness to her.    

That's a 7?  Try an 11.  No run of the mill acronym session could match this session.  I totally agree with Miss Ann.

After thinking about this all day, my solution is


Have a category that rates number of sex acts the provider gave the client.

Have an overall category that rates the clients experience of the session.

So, a provider might give a hand job, blow job, vag, rimming, etc - listed in the first category by number qualification.

And the client then rates how rockin' the session was in the second category.

-- Modified on 9/13/2011 10:50:14 PM

-- Modified on 9/13/2011 10:50:58 PM

I obviously couldn't agree with you more.  In fact, this was one of my earliest thread subjects on this new Board . . .

So who do we write to?

My dislike of TER numbers is well known, but if you want to suggest fixing it that is where you write to get it done.

I have read too many haughty debates on the Max Fisch Board from dommes and subs denigrating those who include sex in BDSM to get too riled up about the point you are making. Yes, the TER point system is set up for sex acts and, no, many but not all competent dommes and subs will deftly and erotically avoid sex. That said, anyone going on the TER Board will know all this--or should by reading almost any review or any post.

The Max Fisch Board is set up for "No sex, we're professional BDSMers" while the TER Board IS set up for sexual providers. To avoid embarrassment to you and your clients, it is best that the "no sex" policy be established up front by TER and they do it through this mechanism of ratings. I can assure you--if BDSMers started getting "10's" in performance, the discussion boards would be filled with irate hobbyists who went to a domme or a sub and didn't get sex. "She took my money, she had been reviewed a 10! and she didn't even French kiss me!!"

Embrace the ambiguity of life.

Lovely photos & agree let's help TER reviews to cater to our unique sessions of interest.

END OF MESSAGE

Dear captyve,

i understand that the TER hobbyists look at the performance rating to determine WHAT a provider gives in terms of sex acts.

What i'm saying is that the sex acts and "How rockin' was the session" needs to be separated.

Currently:

quote


 

  RATING   PERFORMANCE
10 It was a one in a million.
9 I forgot it was a service.
8 She went the extra mile.
7 It was really hot
6 It was a nice time.
5 Average
4 She just laid there.
3 It was barely worth the effort.
2 I should have stayed home.
1 A total rip-off.


For performance ratings, it is asked that you please save the 8, 9, and 10 ranks for situations where out of the ordinary services are provided (i.e. Blow Job - without condom, Kissing - with tongue, Anal - Yes, and Really Bi - Yes). Of course, the 10 rating should be reserved for an experience that is really worth a million!

An escort provider is only eligible to earn up to a 7, unless she is willing to perform one or some of the following during a session: Kisses With Tongue, Bare-Back Blow Job, Really Bi, and Anal Sex. For each of these services that are offered, her potential max score is raised by one point, with 10 as an absolute maximum.

This does not mean she earns extra points for offering these service(s); just that she is now eligible for a higher score. Her maximum eligible score is based on what is offered, not what is performed during your session with her. You may or may not be interested in the “extra” services she offers, but the fact she offers them makes her eligible for the higher score.

If your review rates a provider higher than her maximum score, the score will be adjusted down to her maximum.


unquote




i am advocating for the rating of what was provided in terms of sex acts and how rockin' the session was to be separated.  Make two different categories.

Keep the performance category rated by sex act and take away those "overall experience" comments and put them in their own category.

I have been in BDSM, both sexual and no-sex, since the late 90's. There isn't a man who wouldn't really, truly, deeply and sincerely prefer sex with BDSM. Period. For a man, you can't separate the two. Spectacular BDSM and no sex is better than mediocre BDSM with sex. But that said, once you write out sex, of necessity you are limiting your ratings.

@Captyve: With absolutely all due respect, coming from the standpoint of a pro domme who has sessioned (w/o sex) with hundreds of men, and also as a lifestyle Domme who is close friends with many men, both Dom & sub in my community,  I'd have to say that isn't true.   It just isn't. Period.  I hear over and over again from them, especially the ones who are over 35, that vanilla sex is just "too boring" and if that's all they wanted, they'd stay home and get it from their wives or girlfriends.   Is their a sexual energy to the sessions? Of course!  But, for most of them, traditional sex such as fellatio or intercourse just doesn't hold their interest anymore, so they're reaching down further for something more cerebral.    Personally, in my "private" playtimes, I love incorporating a much more sexual element to the proceedings, but...that's a different situation.  That's me and my partener that we're talking about. I'm a very sexual being, so I'm totally agreeing with you that for many, sex and BDSM can fit together like a hand in glove, and one makes the other more intense and more exciting.  

But, to make a broadsweeping generalization that "There isn't a man who wouldn't really, truly, deeply and sincerely prefer sex with BDSM. Period. For a man, you can't separate the two." is just incorrect.

Quoting from your own response: "I hear over and over again from them, especially the ones who are over 35, that vanilla sex is just "too boring" and if that's all they wanted, they'd stay home and get it from their wives or girlfriends.   Is their a sexual energy to the sessions? Of course!  But, for most of them, traditional sex such as fellatio or intercourse just doesn't hold their interest anymore, so they're reaching down further for something more cerebral.    Personally, in my "private" playtimes, I love incorporating a much more sexual element to the proceedings, but...that's a different situation." You've proved my point--that and the absence of any males responding: Vanilla sex can be boring. Spectacular BDSM and no sex is better than vanilla sex or mediocre BDSM and sex. The best of both worlds: a skilled and talented domme who incorporates BDSM into sex. The problem: using sex can mean not developing the skills of a domme.