I agree Erin. I feel as if it is a good idea to have a feel of what is wanted and not wanted, in order to make everything consensual and comfortable.I think everyone is different, so a generic, ambiguous checklist is probably not the best thing to use to personalize your experience with BDSM/kink.
I personally list my interests on my websites so that those looking for bdsm activities can see what I'm into and go from there. Regardless of dom/sub orientation, I need to know what the person is into to make sure we're compatible. Once I know what someone is looking for, it's all very easy.
In a more intimate or non-professional setting, questionnaires can be helpful. It really depends on how your utilizing that questionnaire and in what context.
I agree Erin. I feel as if it is a good idea to have a feel of what is wanted and not wanted, in order to make everything consensual and comfortable.I think everyone is different, so a generic, ambiguous checklist is probably not the best thing to use to personalize your experience with BDSM/kink.
For me, not knowing what any session will bring is the biggest turn on, yet I all too often have to provide direction upfront for each session, which kind of defeats the purpose.
I would love to lay out a checklist of areas to explore and avoid, the leave it up to a mistress for multiple sessions to decide what each will be.
It can be used before the first meeting/session. The filled out form will clearly show the limits of the sub, which can be discussed, and used by the Dom(me) to plan future sessions. Which in your case, would allow for a session to be a surprise.
Posted By: swnyc
For me, not knowing what any session will bring is the biggest turn on, yet I all too often have to provide direction upfront for each session, which kind of defeats the purpose.
I would love to lay out a checklist of areas to explore and avoid, the leave it up to a mistress for multiple sessions to decide what each will be.
I like all forms of communication. When playing in a fetish or BDSM scene, communication is most needed. Understanding and learning the Subs limits before the fun begins is a rule of thumb in safety and a better sense of compatibility.
There are things I'm interested in and others completely not interested, and wouldn't want to try. But, if I tell my mistress what I want it sort of defeats the purpose. You want the surprise, excitement, fantasy etc. and you want it your way. So much for being a Sub. So here's a little workaround I developed, not ideal, but gets the job done. For each act I'm interested in, I write them on separate pieces of paper. I could be as detailed as I like or not. Just acts, no dialog. Some may be more exact to my liking while others she has more freedom. They are placed in a bowl and the mistress then selects a few, depends on length and length of session. I have no idea of which ones were selected. She then coordinates the session based on the selections. This way, while I fulfill my interests it also is a surprise since I don't know what is exactly coming, but, I'll know I'll enjoy.
It does defeats the purpose by telling what you want. That's why before the initial meet it should be clear what your not into. Like I mentioned, this is a technique that I use because I like to explore and test limits. If you were not clear with me, I would take it as your up for the challenge. You may be in for something that is not of your taste.
Communication is the first rule in BDSM. All that play in this league should be aware of that.
I didnt get this link to work, but maybe you can. www.50ShadesofCurious.com/negotiation please ignore that it's a reference to 50 shades, it's a good list BTW, I posted a review of the movie for my Facebook friends, maybe I'll post it here?
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