I've never seen a BDSM/fetish provider. Is BDSM technically legal, like massage and lap dance are legal?

I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on TV . . .

Most (but not all) of the providers on TER are part escort, part BDSM provider, and by providing sexual services might be at risk of arrest from law enforcement.  That's why many professional dommes make a point to tell you on their websites that they do no provide sexual services and ask that any donation be described as a "tribute".

Of course, the answer to you question depends largely on locale (governing laws) and enforcement (i.e., are we in an election year, or are the police looking to pad their arrest statistics).  If you want an exhaustive answer, perhaps this link will be educational.

P.S.  Massage and lap dances aren't necessarily legal, either.  Depends on how "happy" the "ending" is, or how much contact is involved between provider and client.

Is everything that is fun illegal?  lmfao

I have been a pro domme and escort for years and I researched this when I got started. The answer depends on your location, how your state's law is written, how the courts interpret it and how it is enforced in practice.

In Virginia, where I live, there is an archaic prostitution law that defines it as receiving compensation for an act of "fornication" or "sodomy." Those terms are further defined as intercourse between people who aren't married; and oral or anal sex. The upshot is that the only things you cannot legally do for money in VA are vaginal or anal intercourse (with a real penis) or oral sex. You can legally give a handjob and almost everything dommes typically do is legal.

In most states prostitution is defined as receiving compensation for a "sex act." Whether flogging, cock torture, or strap on fucking are considered "sex acts" is in the eye of the beholder...or the courts. Depending on the judicial history in your state this may be a grey area or it may not.

In any case, a BDSM provider or client is less likely to be the target of enforcement efforts because it is at least somewhat a grey area and there are other, easier targets. It is also more difficult for LE to fake the terminology convincingly. Nonetheless, screening is everybody's friend.

Years ago I was at a kink convention called TESFest 35 in NJ. The convention's attendees bought out the entire hotel, nakedness and other wild fun happened in the rooms, hallways, pools, etc. Woohoo!

Now, while there I come to find out that TESFest 30 had been shut down by some state patrol officers. Why? Because a certain kink act is technically illegal in NJ. I believe it's spanking, but I could be confusing it with flogging. The hilarious/most twisted part of all of this? The officers were apparently the biggest buyers from the merchants at the conventions, as they were shutting it down.

I believe flogging is also illegal in Boston/Mass.

There's also record of a married couple in Oregon being recorded without their permission at a private play party (cameras=big no no). Some way or other, this video got into the hands of someone one with a penchant for "good works" and thus in short order this couple found themselves faced with Social Services taking away their children. The reason? They were believed to be in an abusive and mentally unhealthy household. The kids didn't have a clue about their parents kinky behavior...until they were taken away. The couple spent a ridiculous amount of time, not to mention a fortune, in court trying to get their kids back.

Last but not least, never forget that a bruise looks like a bruise, period. If a spiteful ex want to take you down, reports of abuse is a good way to do it. Arguing with the cops that "s/he asked for it" and then showing them your massive toy chest of torture toys may not serve to win your argument. In a lot of states the indications is that we do not have the right to consent to being hurt, period. Whether this is officially on the books, or simply precedent I'm unsure. I do know that in most states one cannot legally sign away their life/rights, thus making any slavery contract both illegal and null and void.

Food for thought.

In va (as in many states), what is relevant are not only state laws, but also local ordinances - for instance Fairfax County (where Tysons Corner is located) has a law which provides:

It shall be unlawful for any person knowingly to: (1) Produce, promote, prepare, present, manage, direct, carry on or participate in, any obscene exhibitions or performances.....
..Obscene, where it appears in this Chapter, shall mean that which, considered as a whole, has as its dominant theme or purpose an appeal to the prurient interest in sex, that is a shameful or morbid interest in nudity, sexual conduct, sexual excitement, excretory functions or products thereof or sado-masochistic abuse, and which depicts, describes or portrays sexual conduct in a patently offensive way,....

Patently offensive shall be deemed to include any of the following sexual conduct or material when said conduct or material is depicted, described or represented in a manner appealing predominantly to the prurient interest in sex:

(A)
An act of sexual intercourse, normal or perverted, actual or simulated, including genital-genital, anal-genital, or oral-genital intercourse, whether between human beings or between a human being and an animal.

(B)
Sado-masochistic abuse, meaning flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or clad in undergarments or in a revealing costume or the condition [of] being fettered, bound or otherwise physically restrained on the part of one so clothed.

(C)
Masturbation, excretory functions and lewd exhibitions of the genitals, including any explicit, close-up representation of a human genital organ.

(D)
Physical contact or simulated physical contact with the clothed or unclothed pubic areas or buttocks of a human male or female, or the breasts of the female whether alone or between members of the same or opposite sex or between humans and animals in an act of apparent sexual stimulation or gratification.

(E)
A device designed and marketed as useful primarily for stimulation of the human genital organs.

(F)
Male or female genitals in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal.

....Every person, firm, association or corporation convicted of an offense under Sections 5-2-3, 5-2-4, or 5-2-5 hereof shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a fine of One Thousand Dollars ($1,000.00) or by imprisonment in the county jail not to exceed twelve (12) months, or by both such fine and imprisonment.