...on intensity and length of the session in question.
Generally, I find that I need aftercare following a multi-day deal. After a typical evening-long session, not so much.
And Yeah, aftercare is commonplace and easy to implement for "real-life" couples, and not nearly so easy after a p4p deal. It's a good instinct you have there, checking in via e-mail the next day. But hypothetically: What if the client needs more than that? I mean, he's (she's? I guess that's possible also) never gonna get cuddles the next day, but what if the client really needs to hear the reassurance, as opposed to reading it in an email? Is it appropriate to occasionally ask that the provider set aside time to talk on the phone for say, a half-hour or so? And if so, is/should that time be billable?
I don't know what the right answer is, myself. I do know that sometimes it's tough making the recovery back to reality after an intense session--but I don't know if it's fair to expect that a provider make herself so available for that purpose.
(btw, why do I seem to recall that you and I have talked about this topic before? It sure feels like we have...)
And also: You're not supposed to start a provocative and interesting thread like this and then head off on vacation. Have fun, hope to cya when you get back...
While aftercare is something that is commonplace in the non-pro BDSM scene, I don't see it talked about a whole lot in the p4p world. If you're not familiar, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after the scene. It can include things like cuddling, talking about the scene, reassurance, words of gratitude, affirmation, and general emotional support and grounding. Everyone requires different methods of care, and receiving aftercare is not limited to submissives and bottoms.
In my experience, aftercare can prevent or lessen sub or top drop, and strengthens the bond between the two players.
Providers: Do you include aftercare as a part of your sessions?
Clients: Do you need aftercare?
Personally, I integrate it into my heavy BDSM sessions, and even send a follow-up email the next day as a check-in. As kinksters, we're playing with raw, emotional and psychological fire, and I feel it's important to keep it well tended so that everyone feels safe and comfortable.
It depends on the session. There are times when Mistress will devote 10-15 minutes to bring me back. Drinks, easy massage, conversation to make sure I'm functioning and able to drive. The session may run over a few minutes. On lighter sessions I'll just grab a drink and shower then out the door.
J
...on intensity and length of the session in question.
Generally, I find that I need aftercare following a multi-day deal. After a typical evening-long session, not so much.
And Yeah, aftercare is commonplace and easy to implement for "real-life" couples, and not nearly so easy after a p4p deal. It's a good instinct you have there, checking in via e-mail the next day. But hypothetically: What if the client needs more than that? I mean, he's (she's? I guess that's possible also) never gonna get cuddles the next day, but what if the client really needs to hear the reassurance, as opposed to reading it in an email? Is it appropriate to occasionally ask that the provider set aside time to talk on the phone for say, a half-hour or so? And if so, is/should that time be billable?
I don't know what the right answer is, myself. I do know that sometimes it's tough making the recovery back to reality after an intense session--but I don't know if it's fair to expect that a provider make herself so available for that purpose.
(btw, why do I seem to recall that you and I have talked about this topic before? It sure feels like we have...)
And also: You're not supposed to start a provocative and interesting thread like this and then head off on vacation. Have fun, hope to cya when you get back...
In personal BDSM scenes, I do aftercare about 95% of the time. To me, it's a beautiful part of the intimacy of BDSM play. There's something powerful about breaking someone down, then holding them as they put themselves back together.
Professionally, it really depends on the dynamic of the session and what a client requests. I like to check in with a "how are you feeling after that?" as we explore different things. However, most of my clients aren't used to the idea of aftercare and don't want to do it. When someone is trying to cram months' worth of kinky energy into 1.5 hours or a single magical night, they tend to want to play as much as possible!
For my heavy sessions, I always give aftercare and send an email to check in. My lighter sessions, I ask beforehand, and pay attention to cues and body language after the session is over.
I think it's important for all involved; I often require aftercare myself after an intense session, and I need it as both a top and a bottom. I'd think my clients would want/need the same type of care.
Excellent subject!
As a sub, after care - mainly just checking in - and affirming that a good time was had by both parties and mostly that everything is currently O.K. is like gold. Not caressing or anything like that, but maybe a good bye hug? "my" Domme sensed it was exactly what i needed after multiple sessions and a long trip. That is intuitiveness and professionalism.
That the Domme actually cares whether the sub is okay makes a great Domme who "gets it."
Did not know of "Top Drop."
Sad to hear that that happens. i'll try to see if it is needed w "my" Goddess.
On example
I have a client that is one of my VIP: titanium pigs....mumification, X-dress, body worship, smothering, toy training and a lot of power play and humiliation....leaving him trembling, weak, breathless
I find that aftercare and touch is always best to just soothe and comfort after all that hard working over.. I imagine that some scenes like bondassage start off with pre-session care to "warm" up the participant before taking them deeper....
Isabella Crush
It's always like the subs (that you know well) that I play with to know I had a great time and like the return vibe as well.
If you just spent the last two hours mindfucking me, don't ask me if I'm OK before you leave. Ride that wave until you leave or kick me out! If you really want input, email me afterwards.