Manning up and talking to your son about condoms, about sex, etc. are every bit as important as taking time out to just be with him. I would be very surprised if anyone felt differently. I applaud any parent that cares enough to have such a conversation, no matter how awkward.
I suspect many of us would be amazed at what we thought WE knew by having such a conversation (and I am only half joking on that.)
I don't see where NOT setting him up with a provider is leaving him to the whims of the internet or wherever. If you are concerned about misinformation via internet, - pull up a chair to your monitor and watch it with him. There are other visual aides such as books, DVD's, etc that can be used. But providing proper sex education is VASTLY different than setting him up with a provider. If you can't see that, then no amount of words I or anyone else use will make a difference.
Respectfully, it sounds like you are selling both him and yourself short. You at least care enough to put it out there and we all should be so lucky to have parents that care that much.
hey all you guys and gals my son just turned 18 he is a little young in some ways far as girls are concerned
been getting flack from friends and others about taking him to a strip club and maybe setting him up w a girl for his first time. what do you guys think about first time being with a provider will it harm him and his out look what u think
tell me what u think god and bad
I saw my first provider at the ripe old age of 15, unfortunately it didn't keep me from getting married, dating civvie girls, getting my heart broken etc. etc.
Not every 18 year old is comfortable telling their Dad (who is trying to show some support to his son, no matter how potentially misguided) that going to a strip club with them makes them feel uncomfortable. Very few kids want to be seen as "unhip" in their parent's eyes.
As for setting him up with a PRO - think you may be crossing the line with that one. Something to be said for having the first encounter with someone "he" thinks is hot or in love with as opposed to what his Dad may think along those lines. Your son may be the exception, but it is hard enough for us old guys not to confuse the act with the emotion. Only you know your situation, but I would think ultimately such a thing will ultimately leave you with some serious 'splaining to do.
Have you considered helping him out with the cost of a platonic date or something a little on the smaller scale? Pretty sure he will work out his shyness at his own pace.
I am not busting your chops, just giving you my honest opinion. I would wager the vast majority of Fathers on this board have considered the same thing at least one time or another. And yes, you can read between the lines on that last statement.
He was going with some golfing buddies when I was in college. Told him to give his name at the door. I wouldn't tell him why. The next day he said I had some explaining to do. It was a club that I frequented weekly with some buddies and they always made reservations in my name, even when I wasn't there. Dad knew something was up when they moved people off a prime table for his group to sit right in front of the stage. Even so, it would've been weird to be there together.
I figured someone would grab that alias, now the fun is to guess who.
Poll of the day, CAN AwCrap be a nice guy?
I also have a son who is 18. I wouldn't even think about introducing him to the hobby.
How about helping him to develop some social skills? Teach him how to approach girls his own age and encourage some healthy growth.
In my not so humble opinion, as a father you have a lot more important things to teach him yet. Getting his dick wet shouldn't be your concern anyhow.
I think the concern is great and all, but setting him up with a provider is a bit drastic and it may cause him some serious pain later on. If he's as innocent as you say he is with the opposite sex, it'd really complicate things if he happened to fall for the girl.
Just let himi do that at his own rate, you aee lucky you dont have a grand son or daughter right now either, let him rock it out on his own pace. just my thought.
And made arrangements in advance if a pro was required, but the difference is:
both were home on leave, one just graduated marine boot camp, the other was heading over to Iraq as navy EOD unit member.
They were partying alone, no member of the old goat patrol. Some of their high school buddies caught up with them.
I gave each of my two eagle scouts 3 roses for the ballet, I understand the more than consumed my offering.
I had arranged for a driver to be available, I used a guy that used to be my driver. I privately gave him money for pro if required, one of the two took advantage of the limo service, but I do not know which. So I spent 6 at the ballet, 4 for unknown entertainment, and my driver only charged me 4 for the whole night of limo service.
All boys came home safely, and when I collected them next morning to help with a service project, they looked rough, bit were great examples of cheerful, friendly, service.
Both ended up in the war, one has served two terms and the other is actively working to qualify as a seal. I have had seven of my boys serve time in the sand box, all have come home, safely. I worry whenever one is deployed, not the same as a parent, but these are my boys.
I think the proposal outlined above is wrong, kids ( and face it your own son is always a kid) will not appreciate your pressure on their manhood. Let him have the money, enable him and friends to party safely, but butt out of his ground up this way.
Ok, I thought I was familiar with most of the terminology associated with our hobby, but I've never heard of a Texas ballet. Couldn't even Urban Dictionary it lol
Basically a lap dance, nude lady, limited hand engagement by buyer if in public portion of the club, more freedom in private room, lady willing of course, plus dances tend to be a bit longer and more aggressive than I have seen in Atlanta.
But I have been told I have been going to wrong place and have yet to experience Atlanta finest ( only went to cheetahs with some coworkers as it was close to hotel)
No fuckin way!!!! Leave hime be, like a previous responder said. He will be fine.
My youngest is 17 and has had his first dip in the pool.
Unfortunately she was a bit looney and it was a terrible. Plus I found out that he hadn't taken the proper precautions. I took him right then to the store and bought him a box of condoms. That scared the hell out of me.
I had thought about doing the same for him when he turned 18, but maybe with a bit more of an educational attitude. Setup a series of encounters with a lady that could teach him the right way to do things including being safe. I would definitely need to feel like she had a "professional coach" sort of attitude she could take on for the task.
It was a thought that I have had many times since his other encounter. But I have the same reservations as the others on this thread. I don't know if it might do more harm than good.
But I appreciate your posing the question so I could see this discussion and other peoples take on it.
I'm gonna say probably gotta do something. I recall when I was 8 or 9 my dad said that when I was old enough he would take me to see a whore (his word). I recall even then I thought of a woman old enough for sex, and that 18 to 25 then seemed like sex with an old lady and I was little frightened. He died a year later so that never came to pass.
But I think the bigger picture is that we have a situation here. An 18 year old virgin? Today? 18 is the new 25. Were ANY of you 25 year old virgins? Where any of you 18 year old virgins? Shit I lost it at 14 and I did not have the internet. Today that would probably be sex at 12 or younger. My point is that the boot is VERY, VERY shy.
I'm still not sure about arranging sex, but a strip club is very important. See I go with coworkers all the time and you can tell al lot about guys by the women that they choose for dances. One friend likes tits, and does not care what they are attached to: scank, old, fat or hot e just wants tits. Another dude likes giant women, tall big boned, looks are negotiable. you can tell right away what their standards are and which standards they will let slide. You should find out what your son goes for. I actually learned on my first trip to a strip club that my ideal girl was not the Pamela Anderson type (although that is a type I like), but rather gorgeous very petite brunets, so I discovered at 30 that I like that type best. It is worth it to go just for the self discovery.
Next, a strip club is one of the few social situations where the power roles are reversed. The women come to you and you get to turn them down. Your son will learn how to politely reject women, and get practice making small talk with women that want something from him. He will also get to observe women mark him as a target and try to persuade him to go to a room, to take his money. From that he will learn that women are not mysteries to be solved but just people like everyone else that are motivated like everyone else, the flip of the power roles makes the point easier to see. From that he should be able to gain confidence in dealing with women. At the very least he will learn to make eye contact with a naked girl sitting on his lap, which is a good skill to have.
Finally, once you've assessed which types of girls your son likes you will be able to set him up better, if you decide a provider is necessary. And as a last point, I'm not saying that your son is gay or will be gay, but at his age if he is going away to college, you don't want him discovering his sexuality in college, because that is where LIFESTYLES are discovered. I would think it better to send him off a man than chance a tolerant PC institute of public learning to shape any part of his sexuality, and you never know what lifestyle his future roommates have chosen; better that he know who he is and what he likes before being exposed to that type of environment.
Good luck.
you ask if anyone was a virgin at 18. actually, i was a late bloomer. 20. as president clinton informed the nation, that hummer I got at 16 did not constitute having sex. and the feeble attempts at hummers with girlfriends at 17 and 18 definitely did not constitute sex. glad you had fun at 14, but there are all kinds, both in and out of the hobby.
If I were to give this rite of passage to my son I would do it in such a way so
As not to damage his sense of romance or jade him towards woman. After all
We all know getting laid for a man of means is so easy, just a matter of choice, no?
If I did this I would arrange it. In a way to where my son and I would have drinks and
A beautiful woman just by happenstanse came by our table and perhaps had a drink and
Conversation with my boy and for whatever reason they hit it off and like a seduction maybe she
Decides they go to a hotel (where she has a room) excuse themselves have a encounter. No one but her
And you are the wiser. The lad has a great time. The gift he gets from you is not sex but rather the
Confidence that comes from making love to a fantastic woman.
I wish you great luck. Be careful with this!
been getting flack from friends and others about taking him to a strip club and maybe setting him up w a girl for his first time. what do you guys think about first time being with a provider will it harm him and his out look what u think
tell me what u think god and bad
bad move...
You need to be a dad, not a drinking buddy trying to "nail chicks"
Been to the strip club with my son several times since he was 18. He is now 31. We have had a lot of fun together. I would never turn him on to a provider for the respect to the provider and for the respect to my son.
eat shit and die ga 400 you know nothing about me or my sonract every one else thanks for you input about both questions
A simple "FUCK YOU!!!" would have sufficed. lol
And get another nasty gram from your lawyer? I thought we established UP YOURS was royalty free.
I know, I know - Fuck Me LOL. Hope you are gonna stay around Atl for awhile.
guess i was just in the moment' but i take pride in being a father and in doing the stuff other dads are afraid of doing
like standing in the drug store in front of the condom rack explaining differences and how important they are
at all times. i guess i could leave it all up to him then he could learn how to have sex on the internet
or where ever. there are thing at play with my son such as speech and hearing loss so he learns differently.
i was looking for some insight-not personal attacks on me as a dad not
Apologies if I was a little harsh. You are right I don't know you or your son. For me, this is a non starter. I just wouldn't want my son telling his friends or parents of his friends that his dad is setting him up with providers. There's also the implication that you don't think he's capable for finding a woman to love on his own. Good luck to both of you.
like standing in the drug store in front of the condom rack explaining differences and how important they are
at all times. i guess i could leave it all up to him then he could learn how to have sex on the internet
or where ever. there are thing at play with my son such as speech and hearing loss so he learns differently.
i was looking for some insight-not personal attacks on me as a dad not
Manning up and talking to your son about condoms, about sex, etc. are every bit as important as taking time out to just be with him. I would be very surprised if anyone felt differently. I applaud any parent that cares enough to have such a conversation, no matter how awkward.
I suspect many of us would be amazed at what we thought WE knew by having such a conversation (and I am only half joking on that.)
I don't see where NOT setting him up with a provider is leaving him to the whims of the internet or wherever. If you are concerned about misinformation via internet, - pull up a chair to your monitor and watch it with him. There are other visual aides such as books, DVD's, etc that can be used. But providing proper sex education is VASTLY different than setting him up with a provider. If you can't see that, then no amount of words I or anyone else use will make a difference.
Respectfully, it sounds like you are selling both him and yourself short. You at least care enough to put it out there and we all should be so lucky to have parents that care that much.
Good Luck
I'd actually forgotten this in the three decades (or thereabouts) since I turned 18, but when I turned 18 I received a gift subscription to Playboy from my mother. That's right, my mother, not my father.
Where Cher Hired the woman to come over and "take Care" Of her son? He was resentful that his mother thought he could not find a woman on his own. Now that may be an extreme example, but the same principle I think should apply, whether your son is a football star, or has a physically altering disease. I would leave the open lines of communication with him, but stay out of his pants... Figuratively speaking of course. If you wanted to what you could do is give him $300-$600 or more if you really wanted to for his 18th birthday. He can figure out what to do with it from there...
Kisses,
Sherie
thanks sherie glad to get your input i am glad you chimed in. its really not about getting him laid cause he cant as much a an education how and what to do i have read all responses and glad to get them
not to many said any thing bout strip club as provider if i was to do it it would be well planed with provider so he would never know and it would got to the grave w me again thanks
Kisses,
Sherie
to do is no more outrageous than those husbands who see providers without their wives' knowledge or consent.
In fact, one might successfully argue that what you wish to do is a more honorable endeavor in that you are not violating the sanctity of any vows of marriage.
As for whether such an experience with a provider will unduly harm your son and influence his outlook in life, I believe that the influence of just 1 night will pale in comparison to the influences of the media in general, not to mention his family and friends.
been getting flack from friends and others about taking him to a strip club and maybe setting him up w a girl for his first time. what do you guys think about first time being with a provider will it harm him and his out look what u think
tell me what u think god and bad
I, for one, would be happy to call you "Dad".
Seriously... spring for a couple of escorts and I'll really look up to you and admire you.