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Worst first line ever?
ga_kosh 22 Reviews 1077 reads
posted
1 / 16
Worst first line ever?

Friend of mine emailed me an article about the best pick-up lines being something as simple as "Hello" or "Excuse me, is this seat taken?" and I wondered  

"Why doesn't anyone make a list of the Worst opening/first/pickup lines you've ever used or heard?"

There really isn't a decent one out there, so I turn to you, my TER brothers and lovers, for your reaction. I'll go first.

The worst one used On Me was by a provider (late 1990s, pre-TER days) who must've thought I looked like a LEO:  "Excuse me Officer, would you mind showing me your badge?"  
to which I replied "Show me yours and I'll show you mine." She later claimed I was more handsome than other clients and her first thought I was too good to be true. I figured it was my demeanor, my close cropped hair, and that she was full of it and too embarrassed to admit her mistake.

worst line used By Me: "Well Helllloooo, Nurse!"  
I know, hardly original, but to my credit she was wearing a skintight nursing outfit at a DragonCon - so I gave into temptation.

What are yours?
ga_kos

HarryWacker 407 reads
posted
2 / 16
Ok, I'll play...

My worst: "Excuse me, would you like a fish sammich?" said in my best Leon Phelps impersonation.  
It does not work when the lady has not seen The Ladies Man.. so she doesn't get the reference/joke. Since it isn't taken as a joke, it must be a pickup line - right?

Her worst: "I'll give you a blowjob if you buy me a drink" said by the most shitfaced college coed/ young woman I'd ever met. A quick glance at the bartender re-assured me that she had already been cut off and just needed a cab to get home.

Harry

1woody 18 Reviews 306 reads
posted
3 / 16
Does this smell like Chloroform to you? eom


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PRS2005 311 reads
posted
4 / 16
Provider: "Are you my 1:00?"

For $500 an hour, you'd think she would at least know my name

HarryWacker 233 reads
posted
5 / 16
Me: "No. I'm your 2:00. I always come early" -eom


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KristaC34 See my TER Reviews 343 reads
posted
6 / 16
Re: Me: "No. I'm your 2:00. I always come early" -eom

GOOD ONE!!!..... Haaaaaa!!!

PorfirioRubirosaJr 268 reads
posted
7 / 16
Look into my bulge, and I will show you your dreams... -- EOM --


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airmantroy 28 Reviews 551 reads
posted
8 / 16
A line that actually worked.....ONCE

As I was standing in a very crowded nightclub (known for cougars on Roswell Rd =) ) I told this 40 yr old blonde who was complaining she didn't have a place to sit....As long as I have a face, you have the best seat in the house. She laughed and was in her new favorite seat a half hour later....

KristaC34 See my TER Reviews 361 reads
posted
9 / 16
Re: A line that actually worked.....ONCE

Ha!!!  Yes!!!  That's hot...

HarryWacker 246 reads
posted
10 / 16
Reminds me of another fave of mine.

"Bet you're wondering: Is that a dildo in his pocket or is he just happy to meet me?"

Missed:
One lady said "It's a bit small to be a dildo, I'm hoping it's an egg vibrator b/c I love those." (shrinkage ensued)
Another "Oh, there's actually something in your pocket?"

Hit:
"Would you call me a slut if I said I hope the answer is "both"?"  
Nope, I'd call you a Winner!

Harry

1woody 18 Reviews 438 reads
posted
11 / 16
When I walk into a bar I just yell out......

"you cheating whore"!!!     The first lady that turns around looking guilty is the one I buy a drink for.

1woody 18 Reviews 276 reads
posted
12 / 16
Hello sweetheart , Hope all is well with you. Miss you all. eom


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spinnaker17 46 Reviews 284 reads
posted
13 / 16
"What are you here for - love or relief?" My college roommate was a half-indian from Trail, BC. He

got laid more than any human I've known and we had lots of great times partnering in the hunt.  Believe it or not, this was a sort of instant filter line - a smile and you were off to the races.

Bucky11 115 Reviews 224 reads
posted
14 / 16
You look familiar - have we had sex before? (e)


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GaGambler 209 reads
posted
15 / 16
One drunken weekend in CR I did just that

and it turned out that we had fucked only 24 hours before. Did I mention I was shitfaced???

At first I didn't believe her, but she knew my name, room number and how big my dick was. Hard to argue with facts like those. So we went upstairs and fucked again. So I guess it wasn't such a bad line afterall, once she got over being pissed that I didn't remember her at least. lol

Truth be told, I spent so many drunken weekends in CR that it was rather common for me to forget just which chicas I had or had not had sex with, but I usually managed to remember them for more than 24 hours.

1woody 18 Reviews 159 reads
posted
16 / 16
Who could resist an invitation like that. I'm back...eom


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