I remember coming across one conversation on another city local discussion board. One gentleman was sharing his heartbreak experience from falling in love with the provider. The other palls were telling him that it was silly of him to fall for the girl because “providers never fall for the clients...” I don’t know too many other providers in person, but those who I do know have fallen hard for at least one client. One –two stories have their happy-endings, but most of all were pure heartbreaks. The boy would play with the girl and get rid of her as soon as he gets tired of her or when she becomes inconvenient, moving on to the next. Another boy wouldn’t want to compensate the girl’s time because she clearly is in love with him, yet still see and pay for the service of the others… Although the boys shouldn’t be judged for wanting to see many different girls because they are naturally wired that way: to “fertilize” as many females as possible. Girl makes decision to give up the luxury of being with only one boy she likes the most and wants to be with, for the other reasons than to be with as many different partners as possible and she learns to rely on herself only in difficult times and holidays, etc. What I wish is that the both girls and boys would remember not being possessive of those who they don’t want to keep. And if they truly want to keep each other, they both shouldn't walk away and instead try to make it work somehow. Am I wrong?

And yes, you are correct, happy endings are rare.

Either a "girl" ends up being greedy manipulative B&% and takes the boy for everything he has while continuing to work as a provider or a "boy" turns out to be lying cheating manipulative cheapass or even pimp wanna be.

Sorry, but that is the reality.  With VERY FEW exceptions.

Very well known east coast provider was such an exception until recently.  Her marriage to former client and happy ever after was the talk of the town until couple of months ago she and the kids ended up nearly homeless.

What's the simple solution I mentioned? HONESTY.

People meet, people establish rules and boundaries and then actually keep their promises. If things stop working well, they discuss possible changes to said rules. What ever those promises are/were is individual for each couple, but as long as they are actually established and mutually agreed upon there should not be any problems.

Unfortunately, in majority of cases, at least one of the parties will always lie, cheat and steal to get what they want, get caught and all hell will break loose.

I have seen providers for 6 years with no emotional feelings but recently fell in love with a provider who I had know for months. We would talk frequently and both have kids but she is divorced and is actively involved in the kids life. I have 2 daughters and after we spoke about the consequences on the kids decided it was better if I stayed with my wife. I honestly don't know how much she cares about me but we talk on a regular basis .She also has a lot of time involved taking the kids to practices and games so for her a relationship is out of the question he only thing that Sucks I I think about her on a daily basis but I know if I left my wife the odds of things working out with her are very slim. Will continue to see her on a weekly basis.

And doesn't sound like it was a good one either.

You are going to get three kind of answers

1) Sure, why not? People are people no matter what they do and how they meet.  what you gotta loose?

These are the ones who never tried it.

2) HELL YEAH! it is the best thing ever.

This is from people who are currently in such a relationship

3) NEVER, just shoot yourself now it will be less painful death.

This is from those who have tried it.

You can get some variations, but these three pretty much sum up possible responses.

Lina

1) Honesty- Reason all relationships fail, no matter what kind

2) Refusal to accept simple truth

3) Manipulation goes for both and men. Men get what they want stop showing up. I will add most women give a hell of lot but players don’t.

4) Too much importance placed on $ and material things not enough human side of things

5) People make mistakes and one must possess the ability to forget and forgive

6) Living life on the basis of what others think and trying to please all of the people all of the time

7) Not having personal space, i.e., too much togetherness and too little personal time (I don’t mean being out with your buds having Buds until you are drunk as skunk)

8) Truing to do everything and leaving too little time to smell the roses together

9) Out right lying

10) Being passive bordering on not trusting each other

Biggest problem is with men who are parasites and have no self respect and are waste. Same goes for women.

The relations that is definitely not going to work when a guy tells you, honey let me get you out of this and take care of you. It is bogus, stupid, irrational and will not work because no one can stand behind the statement and you don’t know what is expected in return.

and truth be told, although there are a special set of challenges to having a "real" relationship with a client/provider I have had no worse luck with dating women I have met through P4P than I have with any other group of women.

I think part of it is having realistic expectation and not throwing yourself into a relationship that started of as a financial transaction too quickly.

and is pretty much along the lines of how most of my "real"relationships with providers has gone.

I have had a couple go a bit beyond that into the realm of her retiring and me not seeing other women, but one thing I have told every woman provider that I have ever dated "Don't quit your job FOR ME, quit for yourself if that's what you want, but I don't want that burden of you did this for me on my shoulders"

I am presently dating an ex provider, I have known her for five years, we started as a paid date and our relationship has evolved over the last several years to the point that we call each other BF/GF, but I have not made any vows of exclusivity and have not asked the same of her. She quit providing of her own accord, not because I asked her to. Truth be told, I am sure she never liked being a provider

Anyone dating you has to accept that you are .....  Well you know what you are )))

Problems in any kind of dating usually start when people either on purpose or as result of self delusion present themselves as something they are not.


I could tell potential SO that I am member of PETA, vegetarian and love hiking at 6am.  I could even convince myself that all of that is true. For like ... a minute

Lina

Thanks for sharing!

Everybody is marketing themselves!

Posted By: dddbabe

Anyone dating you has to accept that you are .....  Well you know what you are )))

Problems in any kind of dating usually start when people either on purpose or as result of self delusion present themselves as something they are not.


I could tell potential SO that I am member of PETA, vegetarian and love hiking at 6am.  I could even convince myself that all of that is true. For like ... a minute

Lina

Posted By: GaGambler

and truth be told, although there are a special set of challenges to having a "real" relationship with a client/provider I have had no worse luck with dating women I have met through P4P than I have with any other group of women.

I think part of it is having realistic expectation and not throwing yourself into a relationship that started of as a financial transaction too quickly.

Can you see ME dating the woman you just described? lmao

I can imagine BOTH of us RUNNING back to the hobby as fast as our legs would take us.

I think you are correct in your last two sentences.
There is nothing wrong with people being ...friends or whatever.

relationships are just different and you have to adjust.

--compensates the provider's time and not your's, how special does it make you feel? I would personally feel being used.

but please don't make comments about "tipping the scales" there are way too many "calorically challenged" providers here already. Those scales don't "tip" they scream for mercy.

Thank you babes And what you said is probably best post I ever read on the subject.

And no, you don't sound naive at all.  It takes wisdom and maturity to arrive to this view of the world.

xoxo

Lina

That is friends or whatever, relationships are different! It should not be different, why should it be different. I think, it is because everyone said so or does it or whatever.

Then comes the life part. Life is kind of funny, it is as complex and difficult you want it to be and most people make it too damn complicated and difficult mostly because they can’t make decisions on their own and stick to it. Always worried about what others think and say,etc.

My thinking is that “as long as my decisions or act does not affect anyone else, I don’t give a fuck what others say or think”. This excludes otters pretending to be hurt by their own lack of confidence in themselves or their ability to make their own decisions. By the same token, I don’t get involved in other people’s business, don’t have an opinion as to what they do, say or act”.

Most people can’t handle an independent thinking person like that and they say he don’t care. Caring for someone is completely different from being judgmental.

Your last sentence I like the most. Love is love, friendship is friendship, business is business. When a man leaves one woman for another, I find it pathetic, rude to both women. The wife and kids get hurt, and the other woman has to take the blame. I went through such drama when was new to this. You are right, your chances to stay with another are very small because it only works as an escape or glue in combination with your somewhat dysfunctional marriage. Take the marriage out and relationship with another will fail.

-- Modified on 8/13/2012 2:09:57 AM