What do you do ,not ever go back ???Tell her ,or just leave it alone ....See her and not tell !!!What ??

#1. Step back.
#2. Take a deep breath.
#3. Pick up the phone and call another provider.
#4. Make an appoinment as soon as possible for at least 2 hours.
#5. Do everything you possible can during your appointment.
#6. Return home, Take a shower, and sleep on it.
#7. If you still have the urge go to step 1.

I don't know if anyone is quailifed to give advise on that subject, but IMHO;

Some providers would be upset at the thought, or even frightened. You have to be careful and make sure you do not let your feelings known, until she does something that may indicate her feelings. What to look for I could not even begin to tell you.

Hope the 7 step cure works for you......

Good Luck,
Shipwreck

Tough one. If you tell her that you are fond of her, sooner or later the relationship will probably deteriorate, sometimes in dramatic fashion.

You always have to remember that if you were really in love with a provider you would want them to stop seeing clients. The provider would probably know this as well.

In addition, if word ever gets out on 'the street' about any aspect of your relationship or feelings or if another provider senses that you have a good friendship and are close to another provider, watch out! There is a good chance that a situation will be created and manipulated into a ' he said , she said debate' that will destroy your relationship with the provider. Remember, jealousy and competition among providers is rampant, brutal and nasty! Coupled with the fact that there is 'honor among theives' makes this a recipe for disaster and loss for the hobbyist.

Also, if you remember that trust takes years to develop, but suspicion only a moment to destroy this will lead you to the following conclusion(s):

(1) Follow the 7 steps outlined in the prior response.
(2) Channel your efforts into work. Remember, when Napoleon was frustrated and Josephine was manipulating him, he was unstoppable and dominated Europe until he remarried! You can make millions utilizing this approach. And with $30 million you can find a damn good lookin' woman whenever the situation merits!!
(3) If you want true love, go buy a puppy. You'll be loved unconditionally!!

Good luck!

That is an excellent question.  I have wondered what we as providers should do if we found the shoe on the other foot.

I would like to suggest something abit more personal...While giving you a thought to ponder...

If you care about someone you are not doing yourself, the provider you care for or the provider you see to "get over" her with any favors...

Why is it that gentleman do not think that we have the ability to care for and truly love others?

Even Jesus saw love and compassion in the woman at the well...

Finally,

How would you want her to handle it if she was the one with the feelings?

Love to ALL

HEIDI

Been there, done that....(about 20 years ago) but...
We enjoyed each other and the relationship immensely. We started out as friends, and we developed the relationship. I knew her occupation from the beginning, although I didn't meet her for the first time as a client. It wasn't a matter of "stomaching" her actions....I believe the key to our success (to anybody's really) was RESPECT. With respect, there is no jealousy or insecurity. It wasn't always a cakewalk, but it wasn't a mistake either.  In fact I have developed a healthy respect for the trials & tribulations of our fair courtesans.

Bottom line.... it doesn't matter what your S.O. is, does, or has done, or how much you love each other.... no relationship is truly successful without respect.

JMHO,

Santa

excellent point Heidi, but I go with
Shipwreck.

Well, IMHO, being hypocritical and being judgemental is whole issue here. Let us assume for a moment, the feeling is between two people and forget the feelings are between a Provider and Hobbyst.

What decision would you make?

What advise would you give your best friend (if he/she asks)?

Once we humans get over being judgemental based what people do, we will be able to see cleraly. There is lot more to a person than what role and what they do.

Just my 02c

Been the and done that.

This was extremely bad for me since I have been married for over 30 years and was willing to give up everything for this girl. I fell for a girl that I was seeing for over a year. I think she sensed it. Although she was spacy at times I refused to beleive that she was using drugs. I was blinded by lust, not love. She disappeared in late Feb and to my knowledge didn't pop up anywhere else. She has some reviews and thats how I faced reality about the drug issue. Thank god for the other local providers because they snapped me back into reality. JUst don't get sidelined by lust. Have fun (I do) but just keep it in presepective. If you truely love this girl and are willing to be realistic about her profession then I would say address the issue with her and see if you could work it out. Just don't get caught up with in the 'oh, can you help me out' game bacuse that is a sign they girl has other ideas (including emptying your wallet). Remember what the girl does for a living is really unimportant as long as you can accept it. What is important is how you both feel about each other. Don't confuse lust with love!

If you are married, and I assume you are, how can you allow yourself to fall like that?

Falling for a "Provider" does happen; even to those of us who think we are "masters" of handling any situation. One has to view the matter realistically and methodically.  The best solution is to withdraw from the "loop" with little fanfare.  The "lady", after all, came to the relationship promising us nothing other than the "commercial" experience, and we came to the relationship with nothing other than "legal tender" in hand.  What gives us the right to expect more of this paradigm of free enterprise?  By allowing the relationship to melt into a memory, we preserve the reputation of the "lady", we allow the pleasures of the memory to remain unimpaired, and we maintain a sense of our own dignity. If we choose to pursue this "hobby" with another "Provider", so be it; but as for some of us: "been there, done that".

Why is everyone getting so hyped about the whole "provider" thing? What we do is very different from WHO we are. Some of us are lucky enough to end up working in a job that allows us to be ourselves; others may hate what they do every day but do it for all the obvious reasons.  If you fall in love with the cashier at Publix, or a Doctor, or a whatever, all that matters is that what you feel is real-and not part of some fantasy. That's the dangerous part-knowing what is real-and knowing when feelings are based on a fantasy that we create in our minds not only because it feels good, but because we have a NEED to create that fantasy because of where we are in our lives. It's a tricky situation anyways, but even more so in this hobby because part of the appeal is in creating that fantasy.....
Just my humble two cents worth.....

During the time mentioned, the elf wasn't maritially challenged.  Ms courtesan was the S.O.  Now she is a former pro, not unlike yourself.

I wouldn't say "never go back" but be adult about it and make sure you are thinking with your mind and not down under .  Remember, a good provider will try always to give the best GFE possible and if they are really good then your emotions can get the better of you.  However, you are both adults so I am sure that if you explain the situation (without sounding insane) then the provider can give you a clear and concise answer.

Either way, in a situation like this, I would be a pessimist and come out thinking that this type of relationship is a longshot because too many times the guy wants the girl to give up what she likes to do...

It could work but you have to be honest with her and yourself. If she quits charging you you have a relationship. If not you don't. And if she's uncomfortable see someone else(or an agency) until the feelings subside. But it can work. Look at Juan & Eva Peron and (possibly) Ron & Nancy Reagan.

I try not to get attached to the girl, but just enjoy the hobby.  But, every once in awhile I do fall, too.  Just to name one, the Brazilian Tara.  I would try not to go back, but that just doesn't seem to work for me.  The way that I was saved by this one is that she went back to Brazil.  It is not too often that I do fall since in this hobby.  Just twice.  I do tell the lady my feelings, but she can clearly see them as well.  I am married, have a family, love my family, and would never leave my family.  I just try to enjoy the feeling of being in the clouds and swept off my feet with the provider while it lasts.  Since I love to have many different women, I always know there will be another.  I just enjoy the feeling (it livens me up a bit as well) while it lasts, and it usually doensn't last, then move on to the next one.  I'm just playing the game.  It's a game to me.  I can't really do much about it anyway since I'm already attached.

I did the same thing. And after she left I felt so lost. She took advange of everything money I like a nut started paying all of her bills for almost 2 years and like everyone else has said I did not won't her in the bussines either so I paid for the whole ball game because after I told her how I felt I belive now that she took advange of the whole thing . But I have know one to blame but me and I do beleive she did care. And I had meet one person on this board Terri and if not had been for her I don't know what I may have done at that time she talked to me for months on and had dinner with me and no strings attached at all and she and I are very good friends she is a great lady so my point is their are some great providers out there who are honest  and they have a heart just as we do. But I will never let that happen to me again thanks to  some very good people I meet on this board again just my 2 cents worth. Just make sure that if you do tell her make sure she cares as munch as you if not it will turn in to a nightmare I can asure you of that be carefull my friend  good luck to you...

This whole discussion fascinates me. If Mr. Offtime fell for the same person and didn't know about her, what would have been the advise?  Answer most probably would have been "Go ro it" buddy, especially if she is good looking.

A wise man once said, "Ignorance is bliss". I think we kind of rephrased it (may be not) by saying "no news is good news" or something like that.

I am not an expert on relationships ( if I am I will have a wonderful relationship with my wife), I think what is important is our ability to respect each other, and to let each other grow and pursue dreams, aspirations of their own.

The I see it, few of us has the ability to make personal decision that is best for us and less number of us has the ability and courage to stick to it.

I also think, the fundamental flaw is our desire to change the other to what we think is good, riggt, wrong or whatever one wants to call it.

Mr. Offline did not say whether this particular provider wants to continue with the business or not, it is upto them to decide.

I don't have any clue about Mr. Offline's personal situation, and it is upto him to figure out.

The only point I am trying to make is, not be judgemental because she is provider. Who knows, she me may be a genuine nice person. I have come across many genuinely nice people all over the world and, personally I try not "judge the book by its cover"

Too everyone that responded ,Thank You !!!
Looks like half for ,and for not ?????? We all are human and all have feelings no matter what ( both sides) !!!Work is work ,and love is love ... Still F
                       A
                        L
                         L
                          I
                           N
                            G !!!
P.S. The provider does not live in Atlanta ,only comes here occasionally !!!!

What to do when she falls back?

I've recently been struggling with this one. I have met alot of wonderful people out there in the world, but have been very,very careful to never get emotionally involved with someone who comes to see me in a professional sense.

However, I happened to meet someone who is the sort of person I would look to date, and the attraction is mutual. I've enjoyed spending time with this person. But I am very,very cautious about doing so because of how we met. I am very careful to be discrete and not to bring this world and the friends I've made into other aspects of my personal life...and I definitely don't want to discount the possibility of running into someone special in this line of work,because people meet in strange ways all the time. But I also don't want to end up getting hurt or taken advantage of, or hurting someone else. I mean, what would you tell friends and family who asked "How did you meet?" *laughs*

It's a very complicated situation when it happens, so I think people are generally very wise to avoid it. Both hobbyists and providers are real people who have feelings...it just seems to work out better if those feelings aren't for each other. *laughs*

*Hugs*,
*~ Angelique