On this day we celebrate St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland who introduced Christianity to the Irish.
To all those of non-Irish blood here is the real story so you won't look silly when someone asks you what St. Patty's day is all about...
St. Patrick converted to Christianity but had a difficult time convincing the godless, heathen, hippie, pagan, tree-hugging Druids to join him in his religion. So, he decided to settle it in the traditional Irish way. He said "I'll fight every man here - and if I win, you convert to this cool new thing called Christianity and if any of you win, I'll leave Ireland with my shillelagh tucked between my legs. Deal? Deal!"
And thus the beloved St. Patrick bare-knuckle boxed every one of those boneheaded Druids into Christianity. Then they all got very drunk together, danced a jig, kissed the Blarney stone, invented the shamrock, and chased all the women out of Ireland. Or was that the snakes? Anyway, they chased something out of Ireland forever (possibly their dignity and self respect). The end.
Oh, and he painted his face blue, had a badass two-handed sword, and keep yelling "FREEDOM!!!!".
Wait - no... that was Braveheart. Crap.
Sorry, I don't have time to check my facts right now as I have way too much drinking to do.
So, in the name of St. Patrick I deputize all of you heathens to be good god fearing Irish men and women for the day. Now go out, get stinkin drunk and fight and fuck your brains out.
But, to kick off the debauchery - may I make the first toast?...
I propose a toast to all the fine and fair lasses in our little village of Hotlanta. May they ever be happy, healthy, and horny! Especially the horny part.
Same for us gents. But I don't think we need help with being horny. I think we have that one pretty well covered. Right, fellas? Oh, and may we all be forever devilishly handsome and posses the luck of the Irish!
Erin go bragh! Cheers!
Ok, you can't have a party without good music - so let's kick it off with some tunes to get in an Irishy mood. Please allow me to make a few musical suggestions for the festivities...
http://youtu.be/R0TBwFLW4GY Gaelic Storm - Nancy Whiskey
Whiskey and Gaelic Storm... good for whatever ails ye!
http://youtu.be/zwgjM-teND8 Dropkick Murphys - Going Out In Style
Good lord I love me some Dropkick Murphys. If you've ever been to an Irish wake, you'll enjoy this. Or Boston. Or gotten shitfaced and acted like an idiot. Or snowball fights. Or girls with really big... ah hell - you'll enjoy it. Because it's awesome.
http://youtu.be/1NIQ9KiZm7M Van Morrison and the Chieftans - Star of the County Down
This is how it's done ladies and gentlemen. Plain and simple.
http://youtu.be/mPpGp_J3z2A The Pogues - Streams of Whiskey
The Pogues! Singing about milk! JK - Whiskey of course!
http://youtu.be/8MnF6tonFY4 Various - Fuck You, I'm Drunk
You'll sing along. Seriously. If not, have a few more beers. You will. Guaranteed.
http://youtu.be/Cbenhxn8Xwo Flogging Molly - Kiss My Irish Ass
Great band, great song.
http://youtu.be/8pyGVCUufJU Chieftans - Morning Dew
It's the Chieftans, what more do you need on St. Patty's Day? Besides beer of course. This is Ireland set to music.
http://youtu.be/7Aar_Mapjyw Dropkick Murphys - Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced
More drunken craziness from DM.
http://youtu.be/zIbRYqwBcVg Gaelic Storm - Black is the Colour
Haunting. Brilliant. Lovely. Try to listen to this and not feel something. Go on. I dare you.
http://youtu.be/axw3SFmmao8 Capercaillie - Sidewaulk Reels
Pretty Irish reel by Capercaillie. You can't listen to this tune and be in a bad mood. It's physically impossible.
http://youtu.be/LE0q5cSmhaM Flogging Molly - Drink and Fight
Yeah - what're you gonna do about it?!
http://youtu.be/cBplEDaT4Qo Various - The Cockerel in the Creel
A timeless classic.
http://youtu.be/5pIAR-0Gni8 Gaelic Storm - Scalliwag
Man, I really love this song. I'm betting you will too.
http://youtu.be/ywMPtwM8avs Mairead Nesbitt - Dueling Celtic Violins
These girls here can play a mean fiddle. Yep.
http://youtu.be/GeOHdrcVBWo The Chieftans - Dueling Chanters
Friggin amazing.
http://youtu.be/B4v6aNjGFFk The Pogues - If I Should Fall From Grace With God
The best drinkin and fightin song ever penned.
