this is an alias,of course, I recently was "busted" by the wife.  She found phone records, bank statements, credit card statements...ect.  She has called some of the providers I have been frequenting. Mostly she (the wife) harrassed my ATF by asking her who she was and how does she know me.   She is now telling me (demanding) that I go to a treatment facility for "sex addiction".  Does anyone know anything about being a so called "sex addict".  I have seen many providers here in atlanta and think my "addiction" is only normal.  Not sure whether the marriage will continue but I need some input here.  I see a provider (mostly my ATF) about twice a month.  pretty much straight up activity (daty, bbbj and normal positions).  

Question?  How do I know if I am considered a sex addict??  all of your help  and input is appreciated.

The definition of a sex addict is that you want the same level of sexual activity  that you  had when you married her & she doesn't ever want any.

A sex addict: I can't be a judge but my guess would be like any  addiction if it is ruling your life then you might consider options. It sounds like you were not letting it Rule your life nor was it an issue with you.

Maybe some therapy with both of you present may bring to light "everyone's" short comings. It may also provide some firm footing should legal action become an issue. It will at least form a foundation of who is contributing what to the relationship.

Good luck and hang in there. Many of us have been there and there is life around the corner.

When I was dating an old boyfriend, he told me I needed "help" because he said I wanted sex too much...Daily sex for me was just right...2x a day; perfect...

I actually went to my doctor, who did hormonal testing; and then told me to tell him that if he needed to talk to him, to call him, as there was NOTHING wrong with me...

According to my doctor, a sex addict/nymphomanias has no control over their impulses or desires, and will seek out to have sex with anyone; and I stress anyone; forgoing safety/security...

There is also a condition called hypersexuality; which is also a real condition; which is just a higher than average libido...which is what he told me I may have; but is not considered bad per se...

I think; but of course, I'm not a doctor; I would suggest speaking to your doctor, who will most likely refer the both of you to a counselor...

And you BOTH need to go; not just you...

Good luck, and I hope your wife will work with you to make it better for both of your needs...

Regards,

Sofia Danila

Sophia is right, a sex addict will have sex with anyone at anytime without control or safety. I do not see that you have a problem with being a sex addict.

It is very difficult to control. When I was younger I was told that I was a sex addict. Fortunately for me I remained safe(A long story.) It is something that consumes every fiber of your being. All you think about. You live eat and breathe sex. It is something you must do more than twice a day. It completely consumes you.

Your need and desires are very normal. Take it from a reforming sex addict, you are not one. I wish you the best of luck with your situation. Faith will always prevail.

Hugs and Kisses Monette

Interesting that your alias has an email (things that make you say, "Hmmmmm, ...")

Great post, regardless of your screen name, at first I was going to ask Jeeves (http://www.ask.com/) to pack your bags for your guilt trip, but I found your post very interesting and had to reply!

You know my man, we here have all tasted the fruit; and, there will be no turning back for you, regardless of what your wife says or does!  The secret is out.  This is Elf's Quest and you've found one of the golden keys.  So, fear not in_trouble_now, you had been in trouble long before being busted.  You have spoken to your ATF, and your ATF knows all!  Those little nibbles on your ear;  That firm yet gentle grip just as you're about to pop!  BTW, how are those ATF(s) able to reach around like that?  Most of our local girls (you know who you are) have gone through this, many times--especially with their regulars CLIENTS!  

Too bad our country is so hung-up on sex, but we are and we need someone to blame and you're the likely candidate in_trouble_now.  


VERY TYPICAL

Wife:  "Well Missy!  How do you know my husband and what is my man doing with your number?"

Missy:  "Well, I don't really know your husband!  I'm actually a jeweler.  Your husband was looking for a presents for your birthday.  Yeah, that's the ticket!"


BETTER
Wife:  "Well Missy!  Why do you think my husband has to come to you?

Missy:  "Well, I don't think its you.  It's just a guy thing.  I have lots of clients just like your husband!"


WHAT WE LIKE
Wife:  "Well Missy!  Tell me what you do to my husband that makes him visit you all the time?"

Missy:  "Well first, go out and get you a couple of wigs and skimpy outfits because men love variety.  Next, when your giving your man head.  Make sure you use a lot of spit.  Throw in a few slurps too.  Men just love that!  Also, the next time your making love just as your man is popping, put a nice squeeze and milk him dry.  I can recommend some great books that you can read to learn how . . . "


Joey





-- Modified on 8/15/2004 5:19:24 PM

thanks everyone for their opinions and input....long road ahead of me but I am sure there will be light at the end of the marriage tunnel.

Are you a Sex Addict?

Dr. Bill Gaultiere
Do you (or someone you know) have a problem with compulsive sexual behavior?  Has your sexual behavior become a compulsion that has diminished your enjoyment or productivity in your relationships or work?  Take the “AN ADDICT” self-test for sexual addiction and find out.  

1.    A LONE?  Do you feel disconnected during sex?  Do you want to get away from your partner after sex?  Do you masturbate to pornography?

2.    N ON-PREMEDITATED USE?  Do family, friends, or conscience tell you to stop a sexual behavior, but yet you continue?  Do you continue with a sexual compulsion in spite of negative consequences (guilt, relational conflict, risk or reality of disease, risk of pregnancy)?

3.    A MNESIA?  Do hours seem like minutes when you indulge in your sexual compulsion?  Do you sometimes forget appointments or commitments because of your sexual behavior?

4.    D EPEND ON HIGH?  Do you use the excitement or pleasure of sexual activity to get good feelings?  Do you feel restless, irritable, or depressed if you go an extended period of time without sex?  Have you tried unsuccessfully to cut back or stop a sexual compulsion?

5.    D ISTRACTED?  Are you distracted by sexual thoughts?  Do you look for arousing stimuli in the media or in people around you?  Has your performance at work or school decreased because of sexual activity?

6.    I NCREASED TOLERANCE?  Are you able to have sex more than most people?  Is it taking more or varied sexual activities to bring you the good feelings you seek?

7.    C ONCEAL SUPPLY?  Do you have secret access to sexually arousing stimuli?  Do you tell lies to cover up your sexual behaviors?

8.    T RANQUILIZER?  Do you use sex to feel better or to escape feelings of depression, guilt, or anxiety?  Do you use sex to forget about your problems or a conflict?

Scoriing: Three or more “yes” answers indicate that you may have a problem with compulsive sex.  For diagnoses and treatment consult in person with a doctor or psychotherapist.  

Sofia, could you use a fix right now??? I'll get my Citation out of the Hangar. Can you be ready in 90 min.? Don't forget those pics.... are they XXX rated?

And yet Joey ... even with telling the SO the truth, that they need skimpy clothes and books to help them, men generally need a little more variety!!

Next time, offer your wife to watch a session!  Maybe she will learn!!

That one got me HOT!!!!   I wouldn't mind being your next ex boyfriend..   Hope to meet you Tues.

O2,

Kinda hard to fly your Citation with just one eye, isn't it?  LOL!

If you ever need someone to fly it, then we need to talk!

Sofia can put us in touch with each other if need be.  Just thought I'd ask.

Your post contains very accurate information regarding sex addiction -- a very misunderstood compulsive behavior syndrome.  The roots go VERY deep.

Best of luck to you, in_trouble_now.  Most marriages don't survive the ordeal you now face, usually due to the loss of trust.  Seeking counseling both together and separately is your best bet to recovery and to salvage the marriage.