Wow, big title.

Ok, maybe I oversold that just a bit.

Pondering life while waiting for the coffee to kick in can lead you to intersting places...

Anyway - I have a question about "regular" or repeat relationships.  I'm always interested in that chemistry and what makes it click.  I'm a nerd that way.  Well, I could leave off "that way" and that last sentence would stand just fine on its own.  

Gents - what makes your favorite a favorite?  What special buttons does she push for you?  What makes you prefer her over all others?  What magical properties does she possess?

There's an interesting thing that happens after I see a girl for the first time.  There is a balance (in my mind) and on one side I place the experience I just had and weigh it (or compare it) to trying someone new.  And here's where the decision is made...  to revisit that lady to further explore that chemistry (and her menu) or to get drawn to the excitement and spontaneity of new poon?  What tips the scale?

Or am I the only one that ever thinks about this stuff?

Ladies - think of your favorite client.  What makes you especially happy to see him drop by?  Clearly you two have a good time together, but why?  Is he good in bed?  Is he creative?  Does he make you laugh?  Does he just make you feel especially comfortable?  In what ways does he rise (heh) above all other men?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Ah...  coffee.  Coffee good...

I doubt that anyone that visits here with any regularity is in the dark regarding whom my ATF is. That being said, we just get along. We always seem to be able to do new stuff. Always safe but always something new. Sometimes it's just a variation. Also, I feel like I can ask her anything and without fear of being judged. I also can joke with her and not worry about her pissed off. I think the best way to describe it is that I am comfortable around her. It does not hurt that she is smoking hot.

Thanks for the excellent response Bri.  I especially liked the comment about being able to ask her anything without fear of being judged.  That's very important isn't it?  We gents get judged enough in the real world...  it is so refreshing to not have to worry about that in our fantasy one.  

I've been thinking about that question myself and - as far as tipping the scale, there is one thing that works wonders for me.  When a lady says "next time I see you we should try..." it always gets my curiosity going.

It's a brilliant strategic move.  Honestly.
Because in my mind she already has me thinking about our next time together.  And the new and different things we could try.

Yeah, I'm a real sucker for that.

Ok, imagine going into a restaurant and having a fantastic meal.  I mean really excellent.  And as you are leaving and giving the chef your compliments he says "Oh that?...  I just threw that together.  Now next week I'm going to create something that will really knock your socks off!"

He's going to have your ass in that seat next week.  You'd better fucking believe it.

We all like the tease.  Or at least I do.

And as much as I enjoy having a favorite (or two) I also have a fear that it will get boring.  I always am thinking of ways to keep things fresh and I very much appreciate when my partner does too.  Sure, she wants the regular income.  Absolutely.  But it's that extra special committment to keep me interested (and happy) that makes me come back.

That, or she's a super kinky bitch.

When I began the hobby about 4 years ago, I thought it was just about getting some action on the side. This was gping to especially true when travelling out of town on business. But, I was surprised at how personable, sincere and intelligent SOME of the women are/were! Now, there are some ladies that I have met that are clock-watchers, "let's get this done".... kind of attitude. Not knocking the sex per se, but repeatabilty would be unlikely.

Soon I found that not only are the varieties of the bodies, skills and attitudes quite different and variable from lady to lady; the sincerity and personal openess varied. Now, I'm sure if we fella's were to compare notes on what makes our ATF so special, we would have a wide range of characteristics! Great sex and sexual attraction to one another (client & provider), and mutual interest would be high on every man's list.

Even though I can't exactly put into words what makes my ATF so fucking special, the intimacy, passion, honesty and desire during the sex really is where my favorite pulls way ahead! I have seen other ladies that are kinkier, more "imaginative" and "wilder", none of them make me feel as good as a partner nor a person! Our eyes light up everytime we first see each other, the moment of climax is always very intense (for both!) and we enjoy all the other moments before, during and after the sex!  

Great tropic! Very thought provoking with a dash of introspection required. I always read your post, regardless of subject, but I think this is the first time I've responded.  

Hopefully others will post.

Not being judged sounds good. I don't think I have ever felt that comfortable with a provider.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply.
And the compliment.
I hope to be one of the great barstool philosophers someday.  Solving the mysteries of the universe one beer at a time.  

You said something interesting about how you light up when you see each other.  I get that.  I like connection.  I like enthusiasm.  Both in and out of bed.  Life's too short to do what you hate, so generally I hang with positive, happy people.

And providers are included in that club.  I want to spend time with the ones that really enjoy their jobs.  And ideally, spending time with me.  I like ladies that are always thinking ahead, whether it's wanting to try something new in bed or talking about a new book - I appreciate the effort.  When a lady gets to know me to keep me happy and interested it is going the extra mile.  I know I can be a handful at times.

To your other comment of intelligent ladies.  I've met many ladies in this hobby that can run rings around me.  Ok maybe that doesn't sound so difficult.   Lol.  But I too, am often impressed with the women I meet.

Ok Miss Benjamin,

For extra credit - define chemistry.

But yeah, I know what you are talking about.  

It's a lot like art.  Hard to define but I know it when I see it.  Or feel it in this case.

A favorite just "gets me."  She understands who I am and what I need - especially in the moment.  I've had a few favorites (the ones who have achieved legendary status) that I swear could read my mind.  As scary as that is... for her.  

e

PS:  Lucky is the gent that has chemistry with you.  

-- Modified on 7/23/2017 10:36:39 PM

They're out there.
The good ones are a lot like therapists.  
Mental and physical.  

And like a good therapist they'll keep your confidence well.  And talk about things nobody else in the vanilla world will.

Oh and then they'll fuck your brains out.

That's the best part.

For me I love my ATF because we've gotten to know each other so well.  Now what made me go back for the critical second appointment was her extreme sexiness and the memories of the quality of the first session, but ever since then what makes me go back again and again is our familiarity with each other.  We can honestly catch up on things from last time every time we meet.  She's so much fun to chat with, her accent continues to drive me crazy, and the other activities keep me reeling for days.  I don't know if you can call it chemistry, but I can tell you that over the few years I've known her, we have both made accommodations to the other that I think have made both of us respect the other in ways other than just the "business."  

My ATF was a tall, sharply dressed and humorous man. Someone who understood my old soul & I could get lost in conversation with for hours. Literally we spent a night having dinner together for hours and lost track of the time, before we knew it the place was closed haha Over time of getting to know him, we started developing inside jokes & he introduced me to parts of Atlanta I had never been to before. He was becoming not just my ATF but someone I started to really care for. He was not only well educated & handsome but the right kind of age group that I preferred to communicate with. He was always super generous even when I told him his company was all I needed. I could go on an on about this guy but it was a great 'relationship', as you can guess it's gone now since he's moved away.

I would love to experience feeling like that again one day :]

I know what you mean.  Continuity, intimacy, respect - they all have great value in a relationship, don't they?

I had a favorite that loved to role play as much as I.  And she was phenomenal.  And voracious.  Whenever I threw out an impromptu idea she would run with it and amaze me.  So, I suppose for me having someone that shares that creative spark is very important.  

Treat your muses well, they make life worth living.

Thank you that lovely story.
That sounds like one lucky gentleman.

Yes, part of it for me is having someone to share things with.  Especially those inside jokes.  Being able to laugh at the craziness of the world with that special someone - it just makes it all worthwhile.  Don't you think?

We're only here for a short time, it is so nice to have someone to share it with.

And if they are good in bed - so much the better.

It must be incredible to be thought of in the way you describe. I would love to be someone's ATF. Lucky is the guy who's presence is cherished.

The physical and mental click and suddenly the business arrangement is between two friends who can keep the business at hand fair, but friendship prevails.  The talk is as stimulating vertical as well as horizontal. The various parts mesh and it's hot in bed and comfortable out.  
I'm down in my playing, had a couple ATF's retire, but have one now I find perfect again. Yeah, shout out to Gianna Bella Ferrari... We click

"The talk is as stimulating vertical as well as horizontal."
That's good.
I'm going to borrow that.

And by borrow I mean steal.

Miss Taylor,

You know your rambling is always welcome around these parts.  

I agree with everything you just said.

In my mind - that special someone, no matter what we do or say or plan, whatever we wind up doing we're going to have a damn good time doing it.

Really it's as simple as that.

e