So here goes:  Got an email from a guy from North Dakota (never met bf) asking if I had a passport and would like to go to St. Barths in 4 days from then.  I say what the hell I could use a vacation and the 10k for the trip.  Arrive and the guy does inform me that his first choice (another provider who he had been with before who had also planned the trip cancelled last minute)  Her excuse was that she had quit drinking and began therapy and that it wouldn't be the right time for her. (warning #1)

The guy was 50, rude (yet thought of himself as chaming), a chain smoker and bottom line annoying!  As a professional, I have never had this problem before, but I just couldn't do it! ( Have sex with him).  I drank way too much just to tolerate him.  I was told to shut up and called a bitch daily by him.  So after the 4 nights obviously it would be wrong to take the full 10k so I felt 4k would be just for my time, companionship or pain and suffering as I call it.  The guy spent 4k alone on cigars so I felt it was just even though I couldn't  compromise my body for this guy. I had obviously buised his ego but I just couldn't go through with it and was honest and told him that I like him as a friend but I just don't like you in a sexual way  and I'm sorry.  

Get to the airport in St. Marteen to head to Atlanta where he ask me to choose a watch out of 3 he picked out ( He bought 2 and also picked me up diamond earrings which I did not ask for)  He says to me well I think these will assure you stay with me in Atlanta tonight and I finally agree b/c I felt bad about my lack of performance.  Get to Atlanta, and I just can't do it and give him back the earrings and find him later at baggage claim where I tell him I have the gold watch he bought in my purse ( A 2k watch) He tells me to shut the fuck up and that he is on the phone and then finally comes over to me where I explain I have the watch and he takes it and storms off.

Get home and get on my laptop where I receive his email (not surprised) how he explained how he was going to ruin me and couldn't wait to post a nasty (not in a good way) review on TER about the trip.  I was repulsed by him, scared and on a island where I felt stuck.  So my question is: Is there anything to do about this guy?  I offered to give back every cent but he is so hateful towards me now.  I feel wronged but I have also never had an issue like this where I couldn't perform b/c I didn't like my company.  

Helpful advice only please and no negativity would be appreciated.  Thnk you, Carson

At least you tried to be truthful to the guy. Hell, he should appreciate that. he treated you that way because he is one of those people that think his money is all anybody cares about and will do anything or put up with anything he wants to dish out. Its a wonder that he didn't hurt you. i don't know of much you can do about it . If he writes a bad review you can try to get it cancelled. You should also put him on all the blacklists so other ladies don't have to tolerate this from some smart-assed spoiled rich boy. Yes, I said Boy.

Well, you DID spend 4 days with him, so you should get something for your time, and 4K is pretty generous, so I can't see anything wrong with that part. And, since he was a rude, obnoxious, disrespectful ass towards you several times, I'd say the hell with him! If he couldn't treat you with a modicum of respect, even if he is paying you for the time, then he is an ass.

Now for the review part, we've all seen and heard of 'false' reviews with lies and such because the guy didn't 'click' or get along with the ladies, and some for the reasons you stated with this clown, and they seem to fall off the map soon; and, if there is something untrue or bogus exaggerations, then flag it to the admins and tell your side and ask that it be removed.

Not sure what you would like to do about him, or if there is anything you need to do, and since he is from North Dakota, I'm not so sure he'd be around here to cause you much trouble, so honestly not sure what to advise you other than to just look for the review, ignore any N.D. phone extensions, and maybe next time think with your brain instead of your wallet. And, that's not meant as a crack or negative.

Play safe!

Never commit to a trip with someone you haven't had a date with. Ever.

As far as what to do "about" him........nothing.
There's nothing to "do" at this point.
If he writes a bad review...so what?
You have over 25 reviews, all positive, with many 10s.
Why is it that women get so uptight about one bad review? Seriously....I don't understand that.
Do women really not understand that when we (men) look at reviews and see nothing but 10s and 9s, then a really bad one, we look at the person's review history, typical scores, and weigh it against all the good?
Well........we do.

Here's another way to look at it.
If someone sees a bad review about you, ignores all the positive ones, and decides not to see you.......wouldn't he be an idiot and someone you'd be better off not seeing?

We all know the old "three sides to every story" routine. It's timeless......and true.
My guess is this guy might have a story or two that he thinks he could tell.
But if.....IF.....he called you a bitch (even once) or actually did tell you to "shut the fuck up"......that, in my book, is inexcusable. I've had plenty of relationships, known my share of psychos, had times that were beyond bad, and I'd still never do anything like that......even with my temper.
There is such a thing as being a man......and not just a male (but that's a different discussion for a different time).

If you did actually give back 6 grand out of 10.....you can sleep at night and know you did the right thing, IMO.

So the only advice is to learn from this experience......and don't give a second thought about him, or what he might do. If he writes a review......so what? It's one of many, and no one with a brain will give it any weight.

Rule #1:
Don't sweat the small stuff
Rule #2:
It's ALL small stuff

Just sayin'
DD

so I will try to keep mine short.
First and formost you agreed to spend 4 days with him and nothing more. I know I am going to catch flack but anything past that is strickly between you and him and he did not pay for that just your time. I have been lucky enough not to meet a provider that I have not "clicked" with atleast on some level. If a "oil and water" meeting occured it is still be incumbent on me to leave what was agreed to and I would be grateful if some part of it was returned.

I think you very generous to reduce the fee for your time and even if you had not returned any of that fee does not give him any rights to be abusive to you.

Where there signs you missed? Sure. We (humans) tend to learn via best from mistakes.

As others have said, if he posts a bad review deside then if you want to fight it or not. I know I saw at least one lady with almost all 9 10s and right in the middle of like the third page of reviews was an 7 6 (or something like that). To be hoest what went through my mind was "Opps someone had a off day." and I never even read it.

Best Advice is learn from it and make any adjustments you feel nessassary.

just my thoughts that were suppose to be short (take them, leave them,

Not this regional board.  Sounds like it was a horrible time for you.   Sorry for your pain.

There have way to many stories in recent years of ladies who didn't come home from trips like this one.  Like DD said don't sweat the small stuff now. It will take care of itself.
The sad thing is assholes like the one you describe have no problem in getting others to vouch for them. So no matter how good you think your screening is never never never leave your turf or turf you are very comfortable with to spend extended time with a stranger. It's one thing to tough through an hour of bad company.

I agree that CC's posting should ALSO (can't underline so I'm capitalizing for emphasis) be posted on Provider's board but as someone who has considered an extended trip ANY insight into what happens, good or bad, is helpful to me.

To CC:

I agree with the others, who've advised that you have done everything right except take a trip with someone you don't know.  And, don't worry about the one review from the ND (does that really stand for No Dick) guy.

Z

If you feel that way please EXIT the planet! I hear Mercury is nice this time of year.

Two people may agree to play that way but no amount of money entitles anyone to abuse another!

Sorry Carson, everything else you wrote sounded sincere, but this line couldn't be more of a contradiction.  It cracked me up!

I have to agree with most of the posts.

1.  Never go away on an extended trip with someone you haven't seen before.
2.  No one has the right to be abusive.
3.  One bad review won't hurt someone with your many great reviews.
4.  Your offer to return any money was totally up to you.
5.  Don't sweat the small stuff.
6.  If you really did like him as a friend, then you have some really big issues...LMAO!

Were talking about probably a 5 and 1 review score where he wants this review to hurt.  I had to drink my way through this trip to make it.  He's going to leave out everything he did and throw in some pretty awful untrue things.  Yes,  I did spend most of the trip past out (you would too if you were stuck with a in your face chain smoker).  I hadn't been in a good place when I took the trip and I really wanted to go to St. Barths b/c I had never been.  It was first class all the way and 10,000 dollars and I get along with 99% of the Gentlemen I meet so I thought theres no way this could go wrong.  I've learned from the mistake and told him I was going to post on the provider board and on every damn TER discussion board there is and do the national blacklist for the mental abuse but he said he still doesn't care.
   A few days ago he found out a provider had stole 18k from his credit card but all he told her was to pay it back.  I don't even think he was mad at her b/c at least she put out the every 3 months he saw her.  Another 2 girls in Vegas stole 12 k from him b/c he was wasted and just met them randomly.  I tried to do the honest thing and even returned my earrings and the watch he left and only take 40% of the agreeed amount but he still wants to punish me.  Oh well lesson learned...  St. Barths was nice I would reccomend it LOL                       CC

In the absence of anything to contradict your explanation of what happened, I won't challenge anything.  But instead I'll just offer a hypothetical possibility.

Firstly, I assume you screened him and his references did not raise any flags thus you agreed to the trip.  I also assume that the fees you actually collected were in addition to the expenses for travel/hotel/meals/drinks etc...

So, what if your reaction to his smoking and maybe his appearance caused your entire demeanor to be "cold" and he immediately recognized it.  In response, and knowing how much he was spending he got pissed but was able to refrain from anything worse than the instances of name calling you mentioned.  Throughout the four days, he's mad as hell that he has wasted his time and money with you.  Obviously having more money than he probably ought to, he decides to try one more time to buy your body with diamonds and gold watch, and surprisingly, you agree?  But, now you again change your mind and leave him hanging.  So, he does the only thing he can think of, and that is the threat of the review and bad press comment.  Wasn't there and don't know nothing, but seems to me that my theory might be plausible.

I applaud you for doing the right thing and returning the gifts and most of the fee.  I applaud him too (assuming my theory is correct) for restraining his anger to just a few bad name calling events.

In any case, it was interesting reading.  I'd love to see his side of the story too.  It really does seem like you jerked him around quite a bit, and his behavior wasn't acceptable either.  But on the other hand, your handling of the gifts and fees seems fair too.

Cheers

I am so sorry that you had this jerk.  I sent you a pm..

The watches were his and I never asked for the earrings.  He pulled those out on the plane to Atlanta.  I had no Idea.  I was repulsed by him and I told him I had to get drunk to with stand him.  I made an excuse every time he popped a blue pill but I just couldn't.  I highly disliked everything about him except our intellectual conversations.  He just sent me and email saying how much I embarassed him and that I was a rip-off whore.  I never asked for a single gift while he shopped his way around the island but that was his money to spend and he said he likes to buy just for the fun of it.  I'm not compromising my body for someone I just can't get along with and have to drink to even be around.  THeres always 3 sides of a story and mine is I was repulsed and wanted the fuck out of the situation.  I refused to even hold his hand on the way back if that tells you anything and His will be I'm a drunk that refused to put out.  I severely bruised his ego. I contacted TER so it is what it is.

First, thanks for posting this.  Stories like this really humanize the hobby and providers, and remind us all that we're all human.

Second, as others have said, thank goodness you made it back OK.  Going out of the country with someone you've never met scares even me.

Having said that, here's a few comments from a CLIENT's perspective (so they are not intended as criticism, just observations and comments).

1.  If I paid for a vacation with a provider, agreed upon a hefty fee, and she "couldn't perform" with me, I would be really pissed.  (That's one reason I'd never consider that without someone I've seen previously.)

2.  I think it would have been a good idea beforehand to discuss any potentially annoying habits ( eg., chain smoking, heavy drinking, snoring) before agreeing to the trip, in order to at least make sure you could deal with those.  For that matter, you probably should have asked for a recent photo of him to know what to expect.

3.  The first night you realized you couldn't perform, you should have offered to return all of his money and go home.  If, at that point, he asked you to stay or let you keep some of the money, at least he knew from that point what to expect.

4.  Honestly, you should not have accepted any watches or expensive gifts.  

Obviously, I was not there and font know the details.  I assume you tried your best to be nice to him.  But I can understand how he'd feel used and humiliated under the circumstances.  In terms of reviews, I agree with the others who have said not to worry about it.  One or two negative reviews font matter to potential clients.  Even if he gave you a 1 on performance, and it wasn't removed by TER administration, everyone would see that was a total aberration.  (A 6 or 7 on looks or performance would probably do more harm.)

Anyway, just my thoughts.  Again, not meant as critism.  Glad you're safe.

If this dude's dick were a passport I doubt it would have very many exotic stamps.

Fuck him!!  Keep doing you CC!

CC,

Don't know you, never met you although I'm sure it's my loss! I agree with DD, especially his first piece of advice - NEVER go on an extended trip, especially far away or in another country, without knowing the client. I know it's difficult to believe (sarcasm), but we men are sometimes (?) a strange breed. We get so wrapped up in "the fantasy" that sometimes, some of us cannot distinguish fantasy from reality. Assuming what you say is true (and I have no reason to doubt you), this guy was expecting a whore (forgive the term), not a lady. Most of us treat all women as ladies, but there are some exceptions and this man sounds like one of them. This is why you NEVER go on an extended trip with someone you've do not know. In my opinion, all providers should be treated as ladies. Your choice of profession does not define you, just as our choice of professions do not define us. I don't know if anything I've said makes sense to anyone, but it does for me! I'm sorry for the way you were treated.

As someone who is considering entering the biz, this is the kind of situation I worry about. Even if she had chosen not to go on a trip with this guy, and it was an intown visit, how do you handle it? I'm sure he would have been just as annoying on a short time basis as he was on a four day basis. I'm guessing he would have thrown a fit either way if he was rejected. Can you really screen for bad personality?

There are always two sides to every story and I am sure his is much different. Due to your past propensity for drama, I do have some reservations about buying all of this today.

I will look forward to reading that review or his rebuttal. That should prove to be an interesting read too.

Most has been said but permit my 2cents.
1. The reason providers vigorously protect their reviews is because it creates a continued stream of business. This is completely understandable. When we men read the reviews especially 25+ on a provider those reviews create a huge expectation like a movie trailer. So for 10k and a RT first class ticket to the islands at a 5 star resort, the fellow isn’t looking for discussion of world politics or the stock market. He has one clear expectation.
2. Aside from not booking an out of the country date with a man you never met and had no knowledge of even you said you had a warning sign in the very beginning. So coupled with the “repulsiveness” you had for the man (also in the beginning) you should have headed back to the airport immediately. You should have know or highly suspected this would end very badly and it sure did.
3. If you say you couldn’t leave because of a restricted ticket, then that’s a mistake equal to the others. I would hope that all providers insist on an unrestricted ticket for US travel let alone going to a foreign country with someone you hadn’t met.
4. I do agree that this matter is best suited on the provider board, however since you choose to make the matter public to all of us I think its fair to wait till the fellow posts the review and most importantly see the other providers he’s seen and if he’s been negative to them also. Then we’d have both sides of the story. But he may have the good sense to simply put this matter behind him and move on.
Finally let me say that I would hope you don’t repeat this going out of the country with a stranger again, ignore warning signs no matter what the price. And don’t take more than 2minutes of verbal abuse before you head to the airport. Anytime you have to get drunk just to tolerate someone, its time to leave. You appear to be a nice woman and the reviews bear that out, you may not be as lucky next time.

...that it's not worth commenting on.

Sir Cumalot

"I felt it ($4k) was just even though I couldn't compromise my body for this guy".  Gee Carson, maybe you should have told him you were a virgin before you agreed to the trip.
I hate to sound unsupportive, but based on other postings you have done, you seem to be a lightning rod for drama and seem compelled to air those issues on the board.  
Sorry if every man in the world isn't so starstruck by your beauty and charm that they are content to hand you a wad of cash and then go jerk off alone in the bathroom, after which they write you a 10/10 review.
Be mature, take the good with the bad, and be a professional.

The man obviously has more money than sense!

Sorry I was repulsed by the guy. Your post is drama.  I asked for advice not for accusations of disbelief.  A lot of hate and alot of miserable sad people on here.  I feel sorry for you.  One thing I am not is a liar.  Another comment was slander and reported to TER.   The situation has been settled.  He didn't have a good time and neither did I but  missing 4 days of Atlanta based appt's I still must be compensated.  Love me or Hate me, I don't have time for shit starters.  Also to answer everyones ? of why didn't I leave.  From St. Barths you have to fly to St. Marteen, then from there to Atlanta ( It's about 2k for a plane ticket)  It was not all bad but as far as intimacy or chemistry it just wasn't there and I was not used to someone so arrogant.  Lesson learned: Don't go on a trip to a foreign country with someone you don't know.  I will not be responding again.  Thank you to all for the supporting PM's and emails.   Carson

I have both personal thoughts and professional.  

I will just be kind and stick to the professional.  

1.  I NEVER feel a Lady should really go on an extended trip with a client before meeting in person to make sure there is some sort of compatibility.  

2.  I NEVER feel a Lady should drink excessively when with a client (you could had got a separate room to get away from him).  What if you had drank so much that you passed out and he took advantage of you?  

3.  I believe in communication.  The first time he called you a name you should had told him right then if it happened again your time together is done with no refund.  

4.  I think keeping half for the trip is reasonable for your time if you felt obliged too, however there were traits you just were not attracted to which brings us back to number 1 above.  

5.  I do not think any Lady should feel under obligation when on a date, if you know up front it is not working out then giving a portion back on an extended trip like this is reasonable (which you did).  But your time is important.  

6.  You should had cut your losses and not agreed for more time in Atlanta and then tell him no again, you already knew you did not like him, you already felt repulsed by him.  Always stand your ground.  Personally if someone is rude I will tell them I don't like the way they are behaving and if things do not change then we will not continue.   Why would you say yes when you already knew you did not like him.  Personally if someone were that mean to Me, they would be dislodging their teeth out of their throat.  No client should treat any girl that bad.  I know exactly what time of man this is.  

All you can do is move on and learn.  It could have been worse, instead of being an asshole he could had been dangerous.  I hope a friend of yours knew who he was and where yall were going.  

Get to know your travel partners next time and always have a backup plan.  

Thank you,  
M  

Thanks willey. However there was never any name calling by the guy.

There is nothing wrong with the guys  appearance. A picture of the guy was sent before she agreed to go. The pic was only 6 months old.

A photo WAS sent before hand.