Requirements:

1) Dartboard
2) write potential provider names on slips of paper cut into equal pizza slice shapes to cover the dartboard
3) double sided tape then used to adhere the slices onto the dartboard.
4) step 7 ft back, throw 1 dart (2 or more darts for more fun!).

 Have fun with the winning 'slice' of pizza pie... assuming you can schedule with her after she figures out you used a darned dartboard as your selection process.

Thanks for the laugh, ga_kosh

PS- if you hit the Bullseye, then you have to have an orgy.
PPS- if you Miss the dartboard Entirely, lay off the masturbation. lol

Wait?! .. What was the question??!