A while ago I saw a lady that I had seen several times over the last few years.  During the session, she wanted me to put my hands around her throat and choke her while we were actively intimate.  

I admit to being a borderline Mangina.  I do prefer longer sessions that are more intimate or romantic.  I enjoy short, aggressive, athletic, or assertive interactions.  It has been awhile since I have explored some more common fetishes (greek, outfits, toys), but will try if they are mutual and appropriate.  Hell, limited restraints and blindfolding while teasing a body with feathers and rose petals has been a great time before.  I actually enjoy fantasy creations

BUT, this just felt wrong.  Violence has never been part of my fantasy.  Simulating rape, murder, abuse, just does not trip my trigger.

Am I over-reacting?  What am I missing here?  Appreciate any insights as this has been bothering me for a few weeks now.

I know a provider that really gets off on that stuff.  She's taken me on that ride a time or two.  It doesn't do a thing for me.  In fact, I feel kind of stupid doing it but it gets her off.  I've never read about it in her reviews and think it's reserved for a special few so I don't want to insult her by laughing or refusing.  I've got a dark side as well, so who am I to throw stones?  Ya know?

I have been asked bya highly reviewed lady to choke her while fucking>
Another i had just seen asked me slap her in the face while fucking>

Not my thing. but I guess its not uncommon.

It's not about violence or rape.  It's restricting oxygen to the brain.  Men who do it correctly can release pressure at the appropriate time so oxygen reaches the brain again... It creates a dizzy effect and it's quite a turn on for me...

Plain and simple, it just feels really fucking good, lol.

If your provider allowed you to do this, it's because she trusts you.  There are few gentlemen that I allow to put their hands on my neck, pull my hair, get rough.  The ones that I want to do it are because I trust them and because it really gets me off.  It's not the case for everyone I see, and it's never on the first date, lol..

Just know that it isn't a violence thing....  It honestly just feels good when done correctly

Love,
dk

said it better myself. To me it feels like nothing else in this world. I am having a great time, wanting to really get off and trust a man when I ask for this. I hope it wasnt me that upset you so as I do ask for this from time to time. DK is right it's not about the violence at all, it just feels really fucking good!
If it's not something you like or it bothers you, I would suggest you just say no. I for one would not be offended at all. I would'nt  want any gentleman to feel uncomfortable for any reason while fucking me.
Hugs and kisses
TL

I had a nice post written, but Dakota summed it up better than I could have...

I enjoy this activity, but, obviously, only with those that are willing and wanting.

To the OP:

If it's not your thing, just let her know.  If not, try something new.  You never know, you just might like it a lot.  

This should not be about abuse or violence at all.... It is purely erotic. Done right with the right lady and you have a mindblowing session for both..... Takes a lot of trust on her part to ask u to do it.... The best sex I have ever had envolved this... It wasn't that long ago but I  can't help but think how HOT it was... If you are not comfortable with this is ok we like what we like don't sweat it....

I do believe we southern  lady's are ALOT wilder than the rest!!   I do enjoy that also!!
Kisses
Elise

So, here is my question, how do I know that it is done correctly?

Yes, there is a high degree of trust between us. Yes, I do have a high degree of control. Yes, I have an absolute passion for delivering to her high degrees of passion. So if I can get over this unease, it will allow us to continue, where I was honestly thinking of just not calling her anymore.

How do I know that I have created the euphoria, vs creating harm to her brain or possibly injuring her?
Are there clues I need to watch for?
Is there a count?
Is the pressure light slightly restrictive or strong enough to actually block the airways?
Do you agree on a release sign in advance?
I do not want to bruise or inflict pain, I assume 'done right' does not create that situation?

Please forgive the thousand questions. I like this lady, and I want to understand the request better. She has played out dozens of my fantasy stories, so my learning this for her is really something I want to do.

It really helps to know that this request delivers pleasure and is not something darker.  It flipped me a bit, especially when I was observing bruising on her body that something worse was going on here.  I did not take it as a trust thing so the feedback to date has been great.

"With knowledge, freely requested and openly share can one find happiness and joy"

Well if choking makes you feel that your causing harm to the lady obviously its not for you. I rather enjoy it, but thanks for sharing thus I do allow and offer that service, but of course I would NEVER force anyone to  participate!!! Us ladies don't know everything, just like you fellas don't know everything about us. If this is not your interest, is it too much to ask if you just made a simple request for what you desire from the provider during the initial call??? If romance is your style babe...just say so when you contact your provider... No harm in making sure ahead of time that you get the type of loving your searching for....

You should research it online because explaining it may be difficult, but I'll try. The most important thing is NOT go for her airway (throat).... If you are on top of her, you want to squeeze with your fingers and palm in toward her skin and lessen the blood flow on that vein located by the ear. Do not squeeze with you thumb and palm..

Basically, where you would check for a pulse on the neck is where you want to apply pressure, I repeat, DO NOT go for the throat... It's painful and you can easily collapse the windpipe. If you're really into it, you can feel her pulse on your palm.. When you feel it slow or her body relax, release pressure.... The blood flow goes right back and feels beyond amazing.... Keep playing with it repeatedly,... It's beyond hot...

You can't hurt her playing with this vein. Worse case scenario is she blacks out. If this happens, remove your hands immediately. She will wake up almost immediately and be fine. Eventually, you'll get to a point where you bring her right to the point of blacking out and release, flood the blood and oxygen back to the brain, she gets dizzy and then you repeat.

It's totally a trust thing, I promise... There is no violence in what she's asking you to do to her.... It's totally submissive, trusting, and euphoric.

If you just go slowly and romantically, massaging her neck, you'll see the erotic side of it. Look into her eyes while you apply pressure, and kiss her lips gently. It's a connection unlike anything else which is why it's not something that is advertised.. Maybe once you get past the images of your past, you'll get some of the pleasure of having this sort of control over your lover's body. It's unbelievably hot and I'm totally turned on just thinking about it.

For me, it makes the entire sexual experience that much better. I get 10x wetter and actually squirt when I cum when my neck is squeezed. The whole experience is a total body experience for me and literally sends me to la la land... I can just have me neck squeezed without any other stimulation and be soaking wet and just cum. So, combined with the intimacy or sex, it just sends me personally over the edge into a place of total trust, intimacy, and bliss. I'm totally in tune with my body and it's reactions to this kind of stimulation and really get lost in time with it, lol.

Whew..... I'm all hot and bothered, lol lol.

hutchens woud say if still alive?????  interesting link provided belos

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,525457,00.html

God girl, I am so sold.  Thinking about it may make you wet and squirt, but your descriptions and response have me hard as a rock.  I must say, you are total doll and any man you trust that much must be totally blessed

for a demonstration, watch the first 5 minutes of the movie "Rising Sun" with Sean Connery.  On the other hand...maybe that's not such a good idea, the girl died.  But they needed some way to kick off the plot of the movie.

and now sold on the idea.........if a provider outlined how erotic it was to slash yourself, snort coke and nitro's at same time, wear a chicken wire cock ring.....would you?  This can and is a dangerous practice and if interested, would do more research than presented herde