Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, Will you
marry me? The Princess said, NO !!! And the Prince lived happily ever
after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big tittied
broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and
dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan
and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony
and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam
and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got
cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he
was fricken cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left
the toilet seat up.

A friend sent me this only as a recording to my phone. It was a male's voice and he was very country and also super monotone. I almost busted a gut laughing.