I ask because I wonder at times how a guy would feel about it? I've had girlfriends and boyfriends while "providing" but I kept it a secret. Luckily, I was never caught. This time around, I'd like to be honest in the  next "relationship".  
Part of me thinks, if I'm honest about it , this could be a recipe for disaster.  

It's great when you can be honest about everything with work. As long there's no jealousy involved.  The longer you stay in the relationship it could potentially have risks.

That's the worst part.. lol

Yes, I did for a short time.  The short period of time had nothing to do with her being a provider.  It works out much better when you can be honest about things like this.  Some people can handle it, but not everyone.

I don't plan on telling the person, if it happens, the  intricate details.  Thanks for your thoughts.  
Man, if a guy read my reviews and was dating me.... he would end it. The things that happen... oh boy!

but I don't recommend it for everyone.  

Not sure that I could handle it. I think it would take a special kind of guy and a speacial lady to make it work. Before I got into the hobby, I often wondered about the guys that date escorts, porn stars and strippers. They must be very secure in their relationships.

I have yet to try it but... your post kinda gives me hope. So, let me get out and get to dating! Wish me luck!

Well sir... u have a lot to be secure about !!! Ur amazing and an e en better person!

world! Anyone that tries to mix it with hobby world is just flirting with disaster ...  it is not a matter of if, but when.

Very negative, sounds like there might be a story here

Touché!!

I have heard it happens.

I dated a girl for a while (almost a year) and was fairly serious with her, enough that I was beginning to think about marriage.  She got a new phone number a couple times and for some reason I called the old number and it was still working, so I googled it and discovered she is a provider.  I asked her about it and she went on radio silence.  I'm not sure I could handle it and it seems to me she could not handle it either.  I wish she had been honest up front and let us make an adult decision, lying rarely works out.

Never have. Never will. I have no interest in dating a hooker who could get thrown in jail before our next dinner date.

Wow

and in neither case is the woman supporting a dead beat husband.  

They tell me it almost always never ends well. You either have girls trying to do it secretly and being discovered (those blurred face photos only go so far--trust me, you KNOW if it's your girl or not), or telling the guy and watching him slowly go insane with jealousy. I just can't imagine how hard it would be like to watch the love of my life driving off in the morning to be with other guys. If I really LOVE her, it's just going to bother me.

Well thank you. I really appreciate that. I hope that when you find that speacial person again that you are comfortable enough to share all the aspects of your life with him/her. 😁

Well stated

and it didn't end well.   I divorced my wife to be with this provider.  She asked me right at the beginning if I knew what I was getting into. My response was yes. I believed I could handle her "work. " Well as our love for each other grew I discovered,  in fact,  that I couldn't handle it.. I tried to approach it as GaGambler suggested, but even though I knew that she loved me, I just couldn't put her work out of my mind .. In the end I don't regret the experience and my decision .

While I have been "buddies" and even FWB's with active TER providers, I have never been "involved" with a provider who had a huge board presence. I can put her "work" aside mentally, but watching her flirt with other guys that she is fucking (even if it only is for money) openly on the board in front of my face would probably not be something I could endure.

I was also very surprised by the number of ladies that are actually married and a provider. My first ATF was married and upfront with me about it. It was even more odd to me becsuse we had the same first name.

I was involved with a provider. I asked her not to tell me about it, but she kept telling me ever so often and she even would tell me their first names and even two of their last names. I am sure she was telling them my first and last names while I saw her as a provider. I am not married and have no kids so if it ever got out it would be a little embarrassing, but something I could handle. Hell most of my real buddies would be giving me high fives.

...or so she told you...

Good point.

Thank you for sharing ... sent you a pm.

Lol I loving the “you know if that’s your girl or now”

That is ideal, honestly but you'd have to come across a real ass man cause men can separate sex and love when it's their dicks doing the deed but let it be the woman they're with and its an issue. When I first started i had a boyfriend and I told him I was just going on dates and not seeing these guys full service and we were both living good from the money then he found out and tried to be cool with it cause of the perks but he just couldn't for shit and then anytime we get into arguments it's "you're a whore" and all these names but this whore just paid your phone bill asshole lol so long story short(lol) only a man incredibly secure in themselves and your relationship or a man that's greedy aka Pimp and that's nobody's cup of tea so I think sneaking is just better because 100% my ex boyfriend is scarred for life from our experience.

For me it was a huge surprise.... saying it fucked up your boyfriend for life is accurate.  It will be a long time before I trust a woman again.  I will use my friends for companionship and providers for sex, but I'm not gonna get my heart back out for a while

I feel bad cause that's how I feel that it'll be hard for him to trust again.

It's the lieing and sneaking that causes the hurt. Just accept the fact that if you can't be honest up front then the relationship doesn't really exist. I'm not saying it will be easy. But if you cant be honest with someone what's the point. It will be harder to find that right one but it's worth it once you do. Sex can be used to express real love or just to have fun or in it's very worst form as a weapon. Nobody likes having a weapon used on them. I've been rich and I've been poor and I defiantly liked rich better The true love of a good woman can sustain you like nothing else but when lied to and you find out can ruin a persons life. Be truthful and wait for the one strong enough to handle it. Then you'll have something worth hanging onto.

I will be honest and say I know I couldn’t handle having a relationship with a provider.  I guess I am not as mature as the others who have done it.  Maybe if it was a casual situation it would be okay but if it got serious I would be crushed!!!

Mocha, the important thing (in my opinion) is that you recognized the pain caused by the situation and hopefully apologized for your part in that pain.  I'm not saying it was your fault, but rather all parties have some responsibility.   In my case, nothing was ever said, leading me to believe that I was in love and she was just providing a GFE,  really really really great GFE

As a provider I’ve dated other providers, civilians, and a former client. Provider/provider seems to be the biggest no-issue relative to work because both people in the equation share the same headspace about what we do. I don’t think it has any affect on other relationship aspects though, so it’s fefinarly not something that’ll tear a relationship apart, but it also seems as though it’s not something that helps it either. It just kind of is.

That was the exact issue with me, the sneaking and lying, after I found out about her being a provider I matched up dates from when we were together with reviews written and it was crushing.  Reading the reviews is something I had to stop doing because of obvious reasons but the sheer number of lies was staggering.  Honesty would have helped a lot.  I've had to come to grips with your point that the relationship did not ever really exist and that has been difficult.  She has never admitted or apologized for anything, which I really wish she would do.

Not all hookers are alike, no more than all women are alike.  

Sorry, I was just describing what a decent human being would do when they wronged someone.... I will "man up" as you say.... Thanks for the advice

but with hookers and non hookers alike, that is not always (actually it's rare) a reasonable expectation.

What made it particularly difficult is I did not know I was dating a hooker, but in that context why should I expect anything different

I see you are very new here, is that what led you to TER?

Probably what led me here to an extent, now I figure if I'm gonna get laid I might as well know what I am dealing with.... I'm not comfortable getting that close to a woman unless the ground rules are spelled out.

I believe your question relates to the counsel of others regarding should you tell your relationship partner. My counsel, no. It is far too risky. What if the relationship ends and they tell others. Or tell others anyone. Dating a provider, which I have done in the past, is not easy. Yes, doing so would be a risky thing.  Best wishes

This is my first time dating another SW'er and it is easier. I was completely out and honest in my last three relationships (they were not SW'ers and never knew about it in realistic terms until meeting me) and I originally attributed the ease of those relationships to them being women, but I now see that it was my honesty that made things easier. I personally feel that when we as SW'ers are honest within the first 30 days of a burgeoning relationship it gives the other party (be they male or female) a firm foundation upon which they can actively decide what they might want to do without feelings significantly clouding judgment.  

I agree with these statements.

...also I didn't include it in my 1st post but I have dated men as well and those relationships were fraught with problems.  

Why do you refer to P4P clients as “suitors”?

Some SW'ers prefer the term sex worker, others provider, escort, courtesan, harlot or hooker to name a few.

Without honesty and trust

So short and so true!  
A corollary to that would be all honesty has a price!

Thanks Olivia!

I don't like lying, so that sucked and the boyfriend who said "your profession doesn't bother me" couldn't handle it after a few months. Good luck with that. Rare is the gentleman who can honestly handle this.

true that honesty has a price but maybe I'm old school in that I don't believe it should have a price..... if honesty has a price then it really isn't honesty at that point

or at least no way to truly trust that it is honesty

True.... I was on the wrong side of this, my GF was a provider and then I found out.  I honestly thought about all the things I could do to get even, including outing her, but came to the realization that she had broken my heart and that is something I could not "get even" with.  So I just chalked it up to a bad relationship, I wish her the best and honestly would consider seeing her again if she was not providing, I know I could not handle dating a provider, but I realize she just was not that interested in me to begin with.

I know what you're saying.
What I meant was honesty comes at a price! To be honest, most times in our lives we need to be wiling to accept some real loss or 'costs'. Reversely, if honesty does not cost much, may be there is not much at stake to be honest about.

If the provider is a masochist I could see it working for me. I would read her reviews just to get my ire up, then severely discipline her to vent my jealousy and hurt. Then I'd fuck her hard up the ass, taking joy in her muffled cries of discomfort.  Then, after getting my rocks off I'd hold her tight and love on her to let her know everything's okay.

Your comment is disgusting. Because I bet you have no problem paying a young woman

Although it can be the first thought when someone is wronged, revenge of any kind doesn’t bring about anything good for both parties! I would like to believe most reasonable guys would behave the way you did  ... you’re a class act! Men like you make all men look good and offer some men encouragement to be on the right side of act.

Thank you

in relationships and secure.  Jealousy could be an issue.  Or it could be a turn on in a balanced home life.

Must be a Sadist and perform exactly what you’ve described Tartus on daily basis.

Every Saturday ! And she is awesome . And we have became great friends going on six years .

I was very close to dating one seriously but never quite got on to it for the reason of it being a potential recipe for disaster in my personal life. But if I'm unattached in personal life, and available, I would certainly not mind seriously dating a provider. Just my thought.

One of the most difficult/best things I've done. Highly recommended if you're up for some opportunities for internal work!