Hello there...

Just a note to let everyone know that I will have availability this weekend, and to a smaller extent, this upcoming week.

I don't have very frequent e-mail access, so please feel free to give me a call at (404)822-4041, if you have questions, or are interested in scheduling an appointment.

I've been going through a very rough time this past week, and have learned to NEVER get involved with anyone you meet through this business. They will never change their ways, not as long as there are newer and hotter prospects out there. I guess I was rather naive to believe that someone would want to give up this particular lifestyle in order to be with me...instead, they just chose to lie to me for a year or so.

You'd think someone in this business couldn't be deceived and taken advantage of so easily in their personal life...but,I guess it's true...love really is blind, and way too forgiving.

So, I could certainly use some consolation these days.

Hope all is well with everyone, and I look forward to hearing from you soon...

*Hugs*,
*~ Angelique

I feel badly for you Angelique.  I believe, though, that it is ill advised to get involved with someone met through the business.  I'm not saying that it could never work out but there are bound to be even larger issues to work than what would occur in a relations the spawned through more normal circumstances.  Even more "normal" relationships are fraught with all sorts of hazards.  I hope any hurt feelings you might have pass quickly.

"Poveri fiori"

Poor little flowers,
the meadow's brighest jewels,
born but the day before,
today on the point of death,
like the false promises
of a faithless heart!
With one last kiss,
or, rather, the first of all,
lo, now I say farewell,
tender and deep,
a dying kiss,
a kiss of love...
(ADRIANA holds the withered violets to her nostrils and inhales deeply)
All is over!
With your sweet scent
all anguish shall pass away:
upon this instant
doubts and unhappiness fade
never to come again!
All is over!

Francesco Cilea's "Adriana Lecouvreur"

http://www.theplantexpert.com/africanviolets/Photos.html



"La fleur que tu m'avais jetee"

(JOSE reaches inside his tunic and takes out the cassia flower Carmen threw him)
The flower that you threw to me
stayed with me in my prison,
Withered and drived, that flower
always kept its sweet perfume;
and for hours at a time,
with my eyes closed,
I became drunk with its smell
and in the night I used to see you!
I took to cursing you,
detesting you, asking myself
why did destiny
have to throw her across my path?
Then I accused myself of blasphemy,
and felt within myself,
I felt but one desire,
one desire, one hope:
to see you again, Carmen, to see you again!
For you had only to appear,
only to throw a glance my way,
to take possession of my whole being,
O my Carmen,
and I was your chattel!
Carmen, I love you!

Georges Bizet's "Carmen"

http://jouet.roger.free.fr/photos/aout/cassia.jpg

You can't typecast guys like that based on this one situation.  Its like getting e-coli one time from mcdonalds and saying your never going to meat at meat mcdonalds again..

Love is Love, what you had with the guy was definitely not that.

"In The Mandarin's Orchid Garden"

Somehow by fate misguided,
A buttercup resided
In the mandarin's orchid garden.

A buttercup that did not please
The lovely peace of such a place.
And so it simply [shined] above
And begged each orchids pardon,
The little buttercup in the orchid garden.

The bees keep passing daily
And kiss the orchids dearly,
In the mandarin's orchid garden.

A buttercup [side] longing leaf,
But love was not for such as she.
And so under the tree of love hanged I
Still begging pardon,
The lonely buttercup in the orchid garden.

I too have been misguided;
To long have I resided
In the mandarin's orchid garden.

And all for friendliness I am,
I do not know which way to talk.
Alone must I keep [praying God]
To beg each lady's pardon.

A lonely buttercup
In the orchid garden.

Sarah Brightman sings Gershwins'"In The Mandarin's Orchid Garden"
from East is West

http://members.aol.com/billschn3/0159.html

Angelique,

I am truely sorry for your relationship not working out but it does not have to do with you being a provider entirely.  Now,  a dog is a dog and if he did not appreciate all you have to offer then it's his loss.  Just because someone participates in the hobby that should not have anything to do with it.  I have been envolved with women and that were not providers or hobbiests and they lied and cheated too.  People will always be people.  It's human nature.  Love only works when two people want it to.  It is hard work and takes communication and a willingess to love to make something work.  If you meet a gentleman in this hobby and you both click then run with it.  Love is to hard to find and not loving is not kool as well.  If I met a lady in this hobby and we clicked I would definately let it roll and see what would happen.  You still have to let your heart run and let love have a chance.  Don't just say no because you had a bad experince.  Just say hay what the heck... I going to let it ride.  It's to hard to find happiness let alone love.........

Just a thought..........  Just a thought.

MonsterJazz

I agree 100%! People are people, whatever line of work or "hobbies" they may be involved in. Relationships must be based on total communication and honesty, IMHO. If you shut out all the possibilities for a relationship just to protect yourself from getting hurt, you won't get hurt-true- but you will be incredibly lonely. Reaching out is risky-it sucks to be vulnerable- but in the off chance that you find that special someone-isn't it worth it?

...the good ol' days of AMPs. I thought I was in love with a whole race!

'Twas a real shame though, 'cause there was one mammasan who was serving me up so much new young talent, I wanted to nail her too! But I never got to!

Ancient views of relationship, marriage and what not is not realistic today. Unless ofcourse, one happen to live in a regaion where the light of modern day has not arrived.

Adjusting your views accordingly saves a lot of heartache. This goes for both men and women.

If one, observes, one can find, head over heals in love, can't live without each other for second, gradual pullback happens some where in the middle leading to can't stand each other to the point of hating each other. How does this happen, it happens because of antiquated notions, unrealistic beleifs and expectations, emotion overpowering intelligence. So the answer is Balance, balance, realism, realism. See the world as is and not as one would like it be. Get rid off unrealistic expectations, strong opinions without basis, no hate, engage brain to the fullest.

Before I begin, I'm going to assume that you were not asking anything of this guy, that you weren't willing to do yourself.  And most of the time, we have to be the ones to initiate the changes, by changing our own habits first.  Now, assuming you were proposing fair terms by leaving this business yourself...I agree with Monster Jazz that this jerk wasn't such, just because he was a hobbyist.  

This asshole lies to you because of the way he thinks.  He doesn't respect you and he doesn't think you deserve to be treated like a human being with feelings, needs and desires of her own, in your relationship.  He doesn't even think of you as a whole person.  In his mind, this relationship has always been about him and what he wants from it.  Appeasing you with promises of his love, and showing you affection at times are merely his way of getting what he wants from you;  Which, quite honestly, is to have you on a string, running to him whenever he calls and to watch you go crazy when he drops hints that you have competition.  And Girl, let me tell you how that makes his ego swell...

If he were the type of person who thinks of others' needs, as well as his own, he wouldn't consistently use you, lie to you, lead you on and break your heart.  I assure you this kind of guy will eventually treat all women he dates this way.

------------------------

There are some really good people who participate in this hobby.  Most of them are already married, which may sound like a contradiction to being a "good guy", but they all have their different reasons for playing outside.  It doesn't make them bad people.  I also believe open relationships can be loving and respectful.   Just don't, and I repeat, DON'T EVER be so stupid as to fall in love with a married man!!  It will NEVER end happily for *you*, my dear.  String-free sex is just that.  But if a married man even tries to tempt you with any kind of personal relationship, he is NOT respecting you and chances are highly probable that he's just looking to get it for free...

Which leads me to my personal number one reason why I almost never consider dating even single men I meet in this hobby (believe me, I've been there, done that).  It takes a VERY special and extremely rare man to look past the fact that he met you as an escort and actually want to have a real, loving relationship with you.  Most young, single men simply aren't that mature and non-judgmental.  

So yeah, he may be cute and he may ring all your bells for you, but don't start giving it away for free just yet, missy.  Make him prove to you first how special you are to him, by taking you out on a REAL date.  It goes far beyond an occasional meeting in a bar for drinks, before he rushes you back to your room for sex.  And make it clear with your demeanor that he is going out with the REAL you...not your professional personna...and this may very well mean you don't have sex on the first date (despite the fact that you've done "the deed" before)!  If you aren't just smothered with sincere affection from him, then you can chalk him off as another one hoping to use you for free.  Don't be used that way.  ALWAYS make sure you get what you need, too.  


Inner Bitch
(Beautiful, Intelligent..in Total Control of Herself)

To the lady, (Beautiful, Intelligent.. in Total Control of Herself)

I have a question since you are a fellow provider....  My question to you is why do you think all guys want it for free?  Your last post said that Angelique should not give it for free.  Now, I do agree with you that a man should work for it and earn the respect of the lady.  But, it works two ways here.  Yes, the lady should give the same respect of the man she is seeing as well.  It seems that if a man and a woman like each other they should let it flow the way it needs to go.  Yes, sex is a big part of it but you can always tell if that is what is wanted.  If I just happen to see a provider that I thought I wanted to get to know better, then sex is the last thing on my mind.  Hell, we already had the sex part...  I want to have lunch and dinner and drinks and all that fun stuff that goes with dating.  To me it seems that providers only see the bad in a guy.  They only see that the guy wants sex from her and that is not the case.  If a gentleman wants to take her out to dinner and a movie or dancing and drinks, then she should let him try to show her what kind of guy he really is.  Hell, we can all get sex.  Just not love....Finding friendship in this business can be hard and a real test as to who we really are....  Let me know what you think.....

By the way.....I do agree with you that it takes a real strong and confident man to look past the job aspect of it.  Yes, I guess I am one of a kind.   But, It also takes a strong lady to whom can treat her man the same as he treats her and just maybe if the feelings are there then it's time to say goodbye to this choosen field and grow together as a couple and not as a single....

Just my thoughts on this subject....  Just a thought!!

MonsterJazz

A great books to read!


Why Men Love Bitches! (Babe In Total Control of Herself)
From Doormat to Dreamgirl
A Woman's Guide To Holding Her Own In A Relationship
By Sherry Argov

It's a level up from "He's Just Not That Into You"
The No Excuses Truth To Understanding Men
By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo


The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off The Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Yourself
By Albert Ellis PH.D. and Marcia Grad Powers

The Power of Intention
Learning To Co-create Your World Your Way
By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

-- Modified on 11/7/2004 11:58:34 AM

-- Modified on 11/7/2004 12:10:40 PM

Thanks for proving my point for me

You say, and I quote....

"Now, I do agree with you that a man should work for it and earn the respect of the lady.

If I just happen to see a provider that I thought I wanted to get to know better, then sex is the last thing on my mind.  Hell, we already had the sex part...  I want to have lunch and dinner and drinks and all that fun stuff that goes with dating.

If a gentleman wants to take her out to dinner and a movie or dancing and drinks, then she should let him try to show her what kind of guy he really is."

MJ, that is exactly the kind of respect and treatment I was telling Angelique to insist upon, if she considers the notion of dating someone she met in the hobby.  I never once lumped all men into one category and said they all want it for free.  If a guy is truly interested in her, he'll call her for a second and a third date and so on, whether the previous ones had become sexual or not.

I also *never* said a girl shouldn't ever give it away for free, either.  If it makes her happy to do so, then so be it!  I have formed quite a few sexual relationships with like minded people who I enjoy being with simply for the fun of it, and because they meet all of my personal preferences.  I get enjoyment out of it and so do they.  Everybody is happy.  That's what matters.

What is definitely wrong is when a girl "gives it away for free", because the guy is throwing crumbs to her and making her think there's a *chance* he'd like to date her and there's a *chance* he might love her.  Honey, there are no "maybes".  If a guy would like to date me, he's gonna have to get busy and prove it.  Otherwise, he can stop wasting his breath...and he can keep seeing me professionally as long as he desires.  Or, as long as I desire.

I realize there are some providers who have the opinion that all men want from them is sex.   However, I am a mature provider (mentally and emotionally, that is) and I believe this profession is a wonderful give and take dance, where everyone gets something from the time we spend together.  I enjoy my time with my clients and I never feel used or jaded.  Everyone leaves after getting what they came for and we go home happy.

MJ, I'm assuming you must be a single man, with the way you're talking about dating, in your post.  Any married man who seeks a personal relationship with a single woman...even if he doesn't want "just sex" from her...should be ashamed of himself.  When you romance a woman that way and provide her with a heightened level of intimacy, you are practically begging her to fall in love with you.  If you happen to be unavailable because of that thing you call "a wife and family" at home, then how are you doing this single girl any favors?  How are you *really* being her friend?   That is why, in this situation, it is *imperative* to keep it strictly professional.  And keeping it professional, I might add, doesn't mean you can't still enjoy dinner and genuine companionship with a married man.  But there is nothing that cuts the "strings" more precisely than receiving a nice, fat, happy envelope at the end of the evening.

IB

Re:Thanks for proving my point for me

One other thing that I wanted to point out- though I'm married, so not really looking for a relationship, I can say with myself that if I was to get involved with a provider, I would actually spend *more*, not less on her (though perhaps it would be less per instance).  I spend more on my wife, and she doesn't even like me...

I guess my point is that if a man values your time less as a friend/in a personal relationship, what does that say for the viability of the relationship as a whole?

Your post was read with sadness and sympathy. I hope your hurting stops & you can see a way to another day. Love is such a precious and evasive emotion, but worth the hurt if it was really love. Look not to the past but into the future and consider your hurt as an indicator of measure to the joy that you once felt. If you weren't in pain then the chances are you never really cared enough to actually have loved. To measure  your pain you understand the love you felt. Some people wait a lifetime to feel the joy of love, consider yourself fortunate to  have experienced it for the time you had. Be nice to  yourself and remember the best of those times.

You see I know your pain because I ..... like yourself had my heart ripped to shreads by a man I loved more than anything. We had the beginnings of a great forever, except he met me in the wrong place and that profession was always in his mind. Even when it was long gone and we were on different paths it still  was with him and always will be. No matter what I may ever accomplish, to him I will always be a hooker and to me he will always be The Love Of A Lifetime. I am only left with the warm memories of the wonderful time when I was once truly loved. That is all that I have, but I feel lucky because now I know what it feels like to have been allowed to love and be given love in return.

Please try to see it in that light. .......     kisses

I feel for you, because its quite obvious you loved this man very much.  But there is something that concerns me about your post and perhaps I either just don't know the entire story or I'm misreading the tone of your post (though I know I'm not mistaking the pain in your words).  It seems to me you're holding on to your pain as though it is some kind of consolation for the lost relationship.  For all I know, the relationship could have ended recently or long ago, so the wound may still be fresh.  But holding onto this pain of yours, when its obvious this man didn't deserve you, would truly be a shame.

I hope in time, if not already, that you will learn to view the experience as proof of your ability to love unconditionally.  You gave the relationship every possible chance to survive and it seems there was absolutely nothing left for you to do.  As frustrating as that can be, that itself should be a great consolation to you to deal with the pain, get rid of it and make yourself available for some man who will truly love you for who you are, and as equally as you love him.  

I also hope that you don't adopt his view of you, as your own.  If he loved you half as much as you apparently loved him, nothing would have stopped him from being with you forever.  That relationship, from my very limited view, seems like it was probably full of imbalances and I'm saddened at his audacity to hold something like that over your head.  You sound like a very sweet girl and please know, without a doubt, he was definitely the lucky one.  Don't allow him to take up space in your heart that should belong to someone much more deserving.

Re:Thanks for proving my point for me

Good point...........

Mj

Re:Thanks for proving my point for me

IB,
You make some very good points and I do agree with you on some of them.  Yes, I am single and I may look at it fronm a different view point.  To me, if a man is married then why not use all of the energy that he uses to play to and put it back into his marriage.  But, that's another question for another day....  I guess it all comes down to comunication.  If you meet someone in this hobby talk about what is expected and see where it goes fron there.  It is ultimately up to the lady and she always has the power...  I just ask for one thing...  Ladies, please don't look at all us guys just wanting it for free.... Cause we all don't!!  Give us single guys a chance....  You just may get lucky.

Mj

Re:Thanks for proving my point for me

By this statement:
if a man is married then why not use all of the energy that he uses to play to and put it back into his marriage
I can tell that you're not married

Unfortunately, for a lot of people marriage is based on emotion rather than committment- and in a lot of cases, they marry people who's idea of marriage is based on committment rather than emotion.  A painful situation, to say the least...  So while in a perfect world, you solution might work, in this world, it doesn't all the time.  

well i dated a very high profile call girl for almost 3 weeks, yes i met her off eros, and she expected me to be the loving boyfriend and be there when she returned..but know what..i couldnt..i said to myself..how can i love a person with this type of job/lifestyle....my conclusion was i couldnt..so why be faithful, so i did my thing and left her...men are men..we like variety..give us half a chance to cheat and we will..specially from a female thats being intimate with others for pay..i know its just a job..but it didnt work when she told me that..she was a hooker, and nothing ever would change that.