I have a reputation in the hobby as someone who doesn't see the same provider more than once or twice. I guess this is true to a certain extent. I have had several providers who I have seen multiple times over the years and even been in relationship twice with providers, once for a couple of years.

One of my, shall we say, outlooks on the hobby is that too much familiarity can breed problems. If you see the same individual all the time there is the temptation to become overly attached to that individual and end up hurt. Or even worse, be the one who has to tell the other person that you are not romantically inclined towards them and then wait for the fall out.

I have seen it play out on both sides of the bed. Guy let's a provider get to close and when he backs away she may call his wife, show-up at work or just try to bash him on the boards. A lady let's a hobbyist get the wrong impression and next thing she knows she has a heart broke Romeo who is stalking her at work, on the boards or even trying to ruin her reputation. Or worse.

The other side to familiarity though is comfort. I have had some amazing times with ladies that I have seen over time. The feel of relaxed more romantic sex has its appeal for sure.

But there is also something to be said for the sensation of being on edge, not knowing the person you are about to fuck. Exploring a new body, trying to find the right spots. Ego is such a big part of the hobby. Every guy wants to cum more, fuck longer, make a woman have more orgasms, have seen more women than any other hobbyist. I remember back before all the boards the only one I ever had to compete with was me.

I laugh when I read some of my old reviews as I look back and see how important it was for me to be a great lover. Age is a very humbling experience.  I know now that I will never have the sexual prowess I once had so I am more comfortable and appreciative of smaller more significant things about the ladies I am with. I find I am becoming more of a voyeur of my own sexual experiences. I feel more like I am in my body the whole time and I capture more of the scents, sensations and emotions of my experiences. I really love a woman’s body. I guess truth be told it is one of the reasons I became a massage therapist. Where else can you be paid to touch, rub and caress a naked woman?

But I digress. As the economy is slowly improving, I am finding that eventually, I will have the means to participate more in relationships of convenience. I have friends who have gone the sugar daddy route and seem very happy with seeing the same woman consistently. I know that some of the men on the boards see the same lady all the time. So here is my question.

Ladies and gents, do you prefer a regular liaison with the same person or do you like variety. Tell me why you choose one path or the other. I am thinking it is time for me to find one woman to really spend time getting to know and see if that really is a better path for me. Or should I just be an old rascal right to the end?
Good Hunting!
Pheonix

I like to keep seeing new providers and have some others that I see repeatedly. Probably not an answer to your question except to say it seems to me you don't have to choose between the two. I presently have two new providers I plan on seeing in the next 3 to 6 weeks and I just saw one of my favorites this weekend. You mention being older now. Let's just say I'm no spring chicken and I don't think that alone necessitates choosing.  my two cents.

In my experience, variety is more appealling for the same reason that you stated. However, once for while, you run into girls that you just HAVE TO see again. Although relatively rare, I am lucky enough to encounter those. In the latter case, I've found the content of the meeting shifts more towards conversation than raw sex. Again, the same as you mentioned, as soon as you go for the familiarity, be very careful not to get too involved, both ways. It's hard to do exactly that, especially when the repeat grows by days, weeks, months. We're human after all.

I like the comfort level that comes with long term friendships. I have known men who over the years I saw go from a bad marriage, to divorce, to entering back into the dating world. I enjoy watching people transform. I enjoy the deeper connection that forms with time. For me, its all about boundaries and both parties respecting them. That is really key for me. I can honestly say I have never had any drama come from long term friendships and some have lasted over four years.

However, I can also see your point of view. Frankly if I were in your shoes I might very well feel the same way. So if you enjoy being a rascal, I say keep being a rascal!


Good topic, by the way.

-- Modified on 1/9/2011 4:40:16 PM

In 2010 I think I only saw one provider twice.  For everyone else, it was someone new each time.  Back when I was starting out, I stuck with one favorite, but used to see her when she'd do doubles and meet new providers that way.  Now that I've played for a little over five years, I feel more comfortable striking out on my own.

The main reason I see someone again now is if:

1)  They stay in contact with me even after our first date.

or

2)  I'm out and someone new falls through, cancels, etc.

I have a personal rule of not seeing a provider more than 3 times to avoid getting too involved.  With a few exceptions I have been able to enforce it.  For those encounters that were so awsome that I could not resist trying to catch lightning in a bottle twice, few lived up to the expectations; for those that came close to the intensity of the first encounter the third session was usually for closure.

In cases where I broke my 3 session rule, a few friendships continue but most did not end well usually because of unfulfilled expectations on one of our parts.  As a provider friend told me once when I was kidding her about a relationship, she told me that it wouldn't work.  She said  I would like her better as the "play thing" fantasy girl.  I knew she was right, she would be too demanding for us to have a relationship.

-- Modified on 1/9/2011 9:48:58 PM

Phoenix, I enjoyed reading your post; it was very well thought.

As a provider, I prefer both long-term regulars and variety. I think if I was a hobbyist, I would lean toward variety though.

Walking down a hotel hallway, knocking on the door of a door number you just memorized, and having little idea of who will open the door is both exhilarating and unsettling. You feel part wild and reckless, survivalist and independent, and then part businesslike and self-protective. Businesslike and self-protective: you don't want to be taken advantage of or treated poorly, and you want to provide the best experience possible. Exhilarating: it's, among other things, mentally exhilarating to know you have to quickly read the other person, figure out what they want, and then interact on a dynamic level, with back-and-forth banter, wit, and cleverness. Litagotors can be especially challenging (which I like) because of their skill with banter and need to test your intelligence and attention to word-play and detail; they see it as a game. (Not every litegator, just using a general example.)

Uncertainty creates both excitement and anxiety. And excitement and anxiety are on opposite sides of the same spectrum.

It's exciting-- who will I meet? (Will they be quite wonderful?) But also anxiety-provoking-- Who will I meet? (Will they be intolerable?)

I think many hobbyists and providers thrive on the intensity of it.

So what's the advantage of having regulars? The stress is gone. And in it's place is a genuineness and warmth. You know in general what to expect, but then there's new elements awaiting to explore. You can go deeper-- both in the fantasy realm and the personal realm. And I understand your concern there, Phoenix, because you don't want attachments that are disruptive. But the personal realm can be a respectful friendship as well... an appreciation for the other person.

Comfort is a huge element in having a good time. It allows you to relax and really explore. But too much comfort leads to the suffocation of spontaneity, which is what happens in many marriages. You don't want a provider with whom it is like being a mellowed married couple with.

Phoenix: I suggest you find a handful of about three providers whom you click with the alternate between, and then occasionally go out on little variety quests... And let us know how it goes.

Can I recommend someone for a regular liason? ...

Its always sweet fucking someone you have a connection with!
But
Always remember weather a eros lady or a sugarbaby she is still
A
Prostitute!
Lol
Just jk ing!

I have seen a number of providers and have had varying experiences.  I now have 2 regulars I see that both get me Young the minute I speak to either on the phone. I know it is a business but with both women every tome indeed them I feel like I am econnecting with a lost lover. Just realize it is only sex.

I am glad you like my sense of humor!

Posted By: KeiraDoll

Posted By: foguete69

Its always sweet fucking someone you have a connection with!
But
Always remember weather a eros lady or a sugarbaby she is still
A
Prostitute!
Lol
Just jk ing!

Lol you're funny

I love the variety available. I also love the feeling of standing on one side of a door, feeling an overdose of anxiety and anticipation about who is on the other side. Variety is a great way to feel 'fresh' in the hobby. Frankly, the 'discovery' feels much the same as it did when I would be about to get into a girl's pants for the first time in the civvie world and would wonder what she looked like naked and what she'd be like in bed.

On the other hand, the lady who I first saw regularly is one with whom the experience only improved on an immense level. Frankly, the playtime was good enough for me to go back. But the more we knew one another, the more comfortable we became and the more we understood what the other person likes, well, that created an environment where just about every single encounter was mind blowing.

Of course, boundaries are the key to p4p in my opinion. You have to respect them and it's best to have a clear understanding of what your own are. It's when expectations get misaligned with these boundaries that sticky situations occur. I'm not knocking people (provider or visitor) who do develop personal relationships. I know I've met ladies that I'd love to spend more non-p4p time with.

But reality is reality, and has little to do with what occurs once you're enjoying the company of a lady in a private setting. Metaphorically it's much like a stage production, only it's one where you get to play a starring role as opposed to sitting in the audience passively. When the performance is over, maybe you meet one of the actors afterwards and strike up a connection. But it's never something that should be expected.

Great post by the way...

I think I need to clear up a couple of points.

First, I have not had all the negative experiences that I have described in my OP. I hear from and see others posting about these things and I just stay cautious. The worst thing that has happened to me in the hobby is finding out that another hobbyist was repeating what I had said in confidence to others.

Those that know me well know that above all I value loyalty and confidentiality. I do not know very many people or have a large quantity of friends in the hobby or in my life for that matter. However, the people who I include in that are people I admire and/or have shown me I can trust them and be myself with them. The other thing that has been a disappointment was when someone I was getting to know very well thought they could manipulate me and lie to me without me knowing or finding out. But as for heart break and other harm's to the heart and life I have been fortunate. I am very clear about boundaries as others have mentioned. I do my best to not over step other's boundaries and I am very clear about keeping my own.

Sure, I have had some ladies get angry with me and scorn me and I have had my full blown fall outs with some in the hobby, but I am not one that hangs onto negativity. It is bad for the soul. So I get over the petty BS and move along. This isn't my life although it is a pretty big piece time and entertainment wise. I love the Hobby. I have met more really neat, sexy and beautiful women, had my insights and horizons broadened more by many of these women and the sex, well the sex has at times been beyond what any man could reasonably ask for.

So I will probably try to find one or two ladies to see on a more regular basis but in order to do that I suspect the "rascal" in me will still have to see who's on the other side of that door.

Have a great day, enjoy the snow!!

Pheonix

Have your cake and eat it too. Pun intended...

variety.  In my private life, I have consistency.  I don't overly concern myself with being the best of anything when I hobby; it's my dime, I spend the time how I wish, and generally I just enjoy experiencing a new woman to fulfill my own desires.

I compete with no one; this is my pure, absolute selfish treat, because I can't quite pull that off in the civilian world.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a gentleman, and also a pragmatist.  Everyone gets a little something different out of the hobby, and for me, it's being in charge and being serviced to my liking.  The GFE isn't for me, because I already have a GF in real life;  for me, this activity offers an escapist spice of life.

When I first started in the hobby, about 6 years ago, I was seeing a different girl for each encounter.  Then I came across this one lady, Reagan at ER, and I realized that by returning I could build up a familiarity.  Also, I think some ladies feel more comfortable on the 2nd and 3rd session then on the first.  I even had one provider suggest that she would let me do more on a 2nd appointment.  I really had not had that much fun on the first, so I never repeated but it made me wonder if some ladies hold back in the first session.

Now, I tend to see the same girl for a few months and I probably would continue but there's always something that comes up and she moves or quits.  I like the familiarity, the fact that I know what I am going to get, and the friendship that we have.  I have met some girls in this hobby that, under different circumstances, might have been someone I would have tried to start a relationship with.  However, I keep myself under control in regards to amorous thoughts, since it is not a good idea to mix the fantasy of the session with the reality of real life.