Normally I'm more of a lurker but with not much activity on the boards these days there's nothing to lurk...  so here goes

Curious how you all would've handled this.  It's long but accurate.

I sent a request via 411 for a 9pm appointment the following night; over 24h notice.  She responds and says she lands at 730 and could we meet closer to 930.  

I reply 930 is fine, and offer that we could even meet at 10 if that keeps her from being rushed.  She says 10 is perfect.

Day-of I let her know I have a bit of a drive to the city, and ask if she could let me know general area of her hotel that evening so I can plan.   She gives me the address 2 hours out, more info than I asked for so all good; I have an hour drive.

At a few minutes before 9 she lets me know her plane just landed, and asks if we could meet closer to 1030.
Before I can reply, a minute later, she sends another message that actually 10 is fine.

I respond ok & that I'll see her then.

I arrive at 1005 and let her know I'm there.  No response.
Another 5 minutes and I try again.
I get a response 2 minutes later that she isn't ready yet.  She won't be long.

Having had people flake out on me in the past, having a 1hr drive back and constraints on my time, and hotel security in the parking lot occasionally glancing my way... I send her a message at 40 minutes after 10 that I'm going to split.

A couple minutes later I actually leave.  Few minutes after that I get a txt with the room number (basically 10 min to 11pm at this point)  followed by more with negativity about how it's fucked up of me if I cancel, etc.    She says she'd appreciate it if I'd cover cost of the room and tells me the price which was a completely reasonable amount.  

I said I understand and if she sent me instructions I'd cover it, but cited that I didn't feel I owed anything given she picked the time (twice) and was still almost an hour late.  

More txts of can't believe I'm canceling, link to video of her on a site,  'this is what you're missing out on, have fun jacking off to that by yourself' etc.  Along with instructions on how to pay and threat to "let gina take care of it if you don't respond".

Tell her I'm driving but that I'll do it.  Select pmt method to use to get her what she needs.    She responds that she can't believe I rushed her then canceled on her.  I point out I didn't rush her, she picked the time.  She says her flight was late, and I point out she suggested after her plane landed 1030, and on her own then said 10 was fine.  Get a "whatever" response.  Tell her I'd take care of it when I got to my destination.  She says good night and wished my night was as bad as hers.

I send about 2x what the room was.  Because of my bleeding heart?  IDK.   Only after, did I see that she sent me a payment request that was more than the price of the room and included a cancellation fee - total was less than what I actually sent her, but had I seen it I'd have flipped out I think.  

She thanks me for sending it.  I tell her another night waiting around may not have been an issue for me & that I hoped her time visiting was better from here on out.  

She let me knew how long she'd be in town if I wanted to start over.   --- almost can't believe she said that as rude as the txts got.

In hindsight I wish I'd have mentioned right away when she said she was late, that we needed to get the ball rolling by 1015-1030 or so or it'd cause a problem for me.    At the end of the day though, I still don't get in what world she's 45-50 min late and it's still my fault for canceling.

TLDR; made appt.  provider nearly hour late so I bailed, still paid for room + some but it's my fault somehow.

You should have known the risk you were taking when she told you she was flying in that very night.

 
Speaking as someone who has flown in and out of ATL hundreds of times, it's nearly impossible to guarantee what time you will finally get checked into your hotel. Landing at 9 PM and hosting an appointment an hour later is simply not realistic IMHO. Could she have handled it better? Of course she could. Would I have paid her hotel bill? No fucking way. Would I have been pissed that she was late? No, actually this is one of those times I probably would have been a bit more understanding, and knowing that she had not landed until 9 PM, there is no way I would have expected her to be ready any time earlier than about 11 PM.  

 
Go back to your first paragraph, you state she is scheduled to land at 7:30 so she asks you to push back the appointment to 9:30, a rather reasonable request on her part, that gives her two hours to get to the hotel, check in and be ready for your appointment, You later state her plane lands about 90 minutes late, regardless of what she told me, experience would have told me that pushing the appointment back 90 minutes would be a realistic expectation, not pushing it back 30 minutes.

 
Yes, technically this was her fault, not yours. But if it were me, once I knew that she had landed 90 minutes late I would have either made plans to chill somewhere for 90 minutes or told her right then I was headed home. Paying a "cancellation fee" is on you. I would have LMAO if she had asked me for any money. Gina isn't stupid, I am sure you have the entire thread of your conversation with her, and it was clearly NOT your fault she was 90 minutes late, although it wouldn't have hurt you to be a bit more understanding that she can't control the fact her flight was late.

since you knew she was coming in on a flight, and you know that shit happens with flights. But you really can't be blamed for things not syncing up.  She also should have known that shit happens with flights and broached that possibility when she agreed to date you so close to her arrival time.  Considering that beforehand would have allowed you two to work out what to do in case of a delay.  

 
As for her response to all of it, she could have been less of a bitch.  If I'd been on the receiving end of that, it would be a much less amicable exchange than what you two had.  You seem like a reasonable cat, though.  You're not at fault on it.  

Some points that have not been made.  The poor girl is coming off a flight that most likely required a connection and probably took at least 3 hours.  Add to that the 1.5 hour delay.  So 4.5 hours of plane/airport presence, always a pleasure.  To make matters worse, to come to ATLANTA.  Perhaps the worst city in America, though I have not been to Detroit.  But we are probably all here or from nearby and know it’s not a place any reasonable person looks forward to coming to.  Then, mad rush to the hotel: walk to cab station, get in cab, ride cab through previously agreed-upon crappy city dodging ladders flying off of white vans, get out of cab, stand in line at the check-in counter, settle into room, and begin getting ready to meet a complete stranger.  Personally, I’d be in a pretty nasty mood by then.  

But interestingly, someone thought it would be a good idea to further extend the evening by conducting a bit of “business.”  All the while, this girl is in contact with you, letting you know what is going on.  I count 6 contacts day of from your description.  Yes, there were some miscalculations on her part as to how long some things would take.  She is an optimist at heart, we will assume.  Might have been an interesting person to meet.

I would tend towards cutting this girl a great deal of slack.  All you had to do was sit at a coffee shop somewhere, answer texts, and get more and more agitated.  When a wreck happens, a frequently asked question is who was the last person that could have avoided the crash?  In this case, that was you.  You could have stayed a few minutes longer and things might have developed in a favorable direction.  We are all so impatient nowadays.  I blame Amazon.  I understand a window of opportunity was closing and decisions had to be made.  But that doesn’t change where the responsibility lies.

You did the right thing offering compensation and it was adequate.  I would have offered half of the agreed upon fee, and she had every right to ask for it, I don’t see how anyone could take offense to that.  Why do you?

..."To make matters worse, to come to ATLANTA.  Perhaps the worst city in America, though I have not been to Detroit.  But we are probably all here or from nearby and know it’s not a place any reasonable person looks forward to coming to."...

I'm reminded of Lewis Grizzard when he said, if you don't like it here Delta is ready when you are.  

Now I know why Atlanta is a Delta hub.  I'm an hour out, so don't need to evacuate just yet.