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goes both ways
LadyRaven 8139 reads
posted

If you are not mentally sound.  This is not meant in a bad way.  However, if you are depressed and looking for a life time companion then this is not for you.  If you have a small void and the rest of your life is on the up and up then you are like most men in this hobby.  It seems most are not made to feel important by thier SO...they seek validation of feeling wanted, needed, sexy and important and seek it from providers.  It is important to remember this is a fantasy and you must leave it at that.  Yes, there may be exceptions but don't expect them.  Those of you who work hard and look at this as recreation time and can afford it (without feeling guilty of depriving your families of thier needs) then good for you!  However, sometimes trying to feel a void in your life with sex, alcohol or drugs the ending is not a good one.  Those of you committed to staying in a marriage that is not the best I hope you try everything to remedy this.  Remember, women in real life want more then a romp in the bed when you come home .. You have to show her affection all the time and in time you will usually get your reward...if not then maybe it is time to make a choice to move on.  If you can do this hobby with a clear conscious and all your needs are met at home then good for you.  I think the prespective should be "this is a hobby" "my recreation" and should make you feel good before, during and after. If it does not make you feel good then why do it?!!

Raven xo    just my opinion and not meant for all to agree!

-- Modified on 1/28/2004 12:47:01 PM

1woody7616 reads

The other day I was reading a thread on this subject. I didn't really give it much genuine thought at the time. Given the broad range of reactions by different people to the same situation I now see where it is possible. After all I know I sometimes suffer with bouts of provider induced Euphoria.

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thirsty5929 reads

Actually, that's why I don't hobby anymore. After I saw someone, for the rest of the day and the next couple of days, I used to focus on the fact that the whole thing was a (not very good) fantasy. She was only there because she was on the clock and so on. For that reason, I doubt if I will ever get back into the game.

thirsty

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1woody6158 reads

I belive it all has to do with realistic expectations. All I'm really looking for is a beautiful , friendly, inteligent  lady that wants to show me how good she can be.I'm a quality oriented guy ,and a quality workout with a beautiful woman is still very enjoyable without having to fall in love.

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silver986800 reads

I think it's a matter of keeping the whole session in perspective. To me it's entertainment. It's also possible that what I receive in a session is something that is lacking at home. In 15 years of hobbying I have met some very special ladies that truly enjoy the session as much as I do. I have also experienced the opposite. I will continue to see the same provider if communication and the physical needs of both parties are established. Then it become fun. Silver98

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1woody6638 reads

Boy!! You guys take a little tongue in cheek humor and turn it way too serious. Lighten up. I was trying to be funny this morning.

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LadyRaven8140 reads

If you are not mentally sound.  This is not meant in a bad way.  However, if you are depressed and looking for a life time companion then this is not for you.  If you have a small void and the rest of your life is on the up and up then you are like most men in this hobby.  It seems most are not made to feel important by thier SO...they seek validation of feeling wanted, needed, sexy and important and seek it from providers.  It is important to remember this is a fantasy and you must leave it at that.  Yes, there may be exceptions but don't expect them.  Those of you who work hard and look at this as recreation time and can afford it (without feeling guilty of depriving your families of thier needs) then good for you!  However, sometimes trying to feel a void in your life with sex, alcohol or drugs the ending is not a good one.  Those of you committed to staying in a marriage that is not the best I hope you try everything to remedy this.  Remember, women in real life want more then a romp in the bed when you come home .. You have to show her affection all the time and in time you will usually get your reward...if not then maybe it is time to make a choice to move on.  If you can do this hobby with a clear conscious and all your needs are met at home then good for you.  I think the prespective should be "this is a hobby" "my recreation" and should make you feel good before, during and after. If it does not make you feel good then why do it?!!

Raven xo    just my opinion and not meant for all to agree!

-- Modified on 1/28/2004 12:47:01 PM

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FirmOffer7706 reads

I wish I could have read that before it was too late. I could have made it better at home, but I chose to blow my money in a fantasyland. Thanks.

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likebeingnaughty5304 reads

Some what agree and somewhat disagree with the post. Agree with the recreation and hobby part.

Stuff befor that looks heavy. Last thing I want provider to think is that I have some void in my life, or I am looking for affection which I am not getting some where else. Not so by a long shot.

My reason, I simply love sex, the more the better. Also like having fun, seen few providers in the area, some have become friends, we occassionally go out for lucnh, dinner, etc.  Few of them, that is another story, which I won't go into.

Any way no void, no wants, just having fun and that's all folks

One life to live and a short time to have fun and enjoy.

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joc1311389 reads

There's this one ATF who I'm only able to see much too infrequently.  When I do get to see her, though, for the next week or so I feel so energized and alive that the desire is very high for additional appts.  I'll usually see one or two of my favorite ladies within the next couple of days, then I get bold and decide to try something new, and encounter like the one I had with West puts a kabash on the whole mood for several weeks.

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strike36903 reads

So by reading all the post I am the only one. None of you will admiit (Thirsty did) that they have fallen for their atf. I am very curious and uninformed so I need more input from the guys and the ladies.

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1woody6356 reads

I can see where that can happen but why be depressed about that? If you have found a woman that you are totally compatible with and enjoys sex, Count your blessings. I can think of some great adventures that could lead to with someone to share them with.    "The Smile on the face of an old man is the memories of the deeds of his youth"

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likebeingnaughty7906 reads

Looks like the subject that went around some time last year. Wow, here it comes again.

One small opinion, as long as you both are able to accept each other as humans, have non-puritanical view, don't think everything in life is black-white, right-wrong or binary view, things will work. Otherwise one may be asking for than what they can chew.

Basically, do you control your feelings, belief or do you let others opinions control you!

Just my view in life and my doings. Do not want to get into a debate right-wrong, religion, politics, etc. Believe, there plenty of very intelligent and famous people doing that.

Cheers

-- Modified on 1/29/2004 6:52:40 AM

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1woody8437 reads

I'm sorry I posted this now. I was just trying to put a quick grin on peoples faces when I posted yesterday. I didn't mean to dig up any deep past thread.After reading the responses now I'm sad.

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LadyRaven6538 reads

I do feel bad for you.  However, I think asking for this type of help in this forum is like walking into a bar and asking for a "sponsor" (an AA thing).

Raven

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thirsty7936 reads

Actually, that wasn't the reason in my case. Believe it or not, I think I did TOO MUCH thinking with my "big head." It just became more and more apparent to me that the hobby was a poor substitute for having somebody in my personal life. I just couldn't embrace the fantasy. As a disabled person, I had too much fantasy in my life growing up. As you get older, it becomes harder to lie to yourself. :(

thirsty

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joc136631 reads

I have DEFINITELY fallen for my ATF, and the fact that she is not free as often as I'd like is probably keeping me out of a whole lot of trouble.

For me, it's like Lay's potato chips: I can't do just "one" of a great encounter.  I'm always left "in the mood" for more, but unlike a true addiction, the mood does eventually go away.

-- Modified on 1/29/2004 1:55:00 PM

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