A great provider friend of mine recently implied that she sees a lot of men in unhappy marriages and wonders why they stay in situation.

Not my situation. My SO is great. Just dull in the bedroom. If I try to introduce new things, she thinks it's perverted (even oral). I guess that's how I justify the "hobby".

My question is...Can men be monogomous ? I mean I love steak and potato, but don't want it every night.

I can only handle one at a time.  Pretty sure I mentioned to you before that I don't do doubles.  But believe me, for that specific hour, I am pretty committed.  Oh wait, that is not what you meant?  

Read these...

Sex at Dawn
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Prehistoric-Origins-Sexuality/dp/0061707805/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1287629368&sr=8-1

The Erotic Mind
http://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Mind-Unlocking-Sources-Fulfillment/dp/0060984287/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287629402&sr=1-1

The authors of Sex at Dawn put it best regarding the threat of death that has been used and still is used in some cultures to enforce monogamy. Nothing natural needs to be enforced by threat of death.


-- Modified on 10/20/2010 2:53:39 PM

I am happily married for nearly 30 years.  My SO has had two bouts of recurrant breast cancer, an MSRV infection from a biopsy site, chemo inspired osteoporis that has led her to two major bone injuries requiring major surgeries/appliance based repair.  And a round of other lymphnode based cancer.  Honestly for the last 8 years, our mutual interest in sex is 'complicated'.  

We love each other very much, we have two beautiful kids both in college now, and she is now starting to be well enough to begin traveling with me when I go places for work.  As she gets healthier, my hobby interest has been declining

I started hobbying when a doctor found a brain tumor and gave me 6 months to live, had nothing to do with commitment and love of my SO, but more to do with me wanting to experience life while I was living.

But these facts do not really answer your observation.  In my hobby, it is nothing about relationship but more about 'sport fucking'.  Excuse me ladies, probably not complementary.  I form relationships and have met some extremely special ladies that fill different needs in my life, but not once has one of them approached the love and family commitment I feel in my 30+ year marraige.  I know many moralistic a-holes will not understand, but like I said, its 'complicated'.  My hobbying does not detract from the quality of life Iprovide my wife and my ability to fund their education and preparing for our retirement,  I am just blessed to be able to explore my 'sport' as a true hobby.  If ever really challenged economically, I would be able to drop the hobby, just like my coin collecting, wine collecting (stupidest hobby in the world to collect) and eventually give up on my traveling hobby outside of my work travel demands.

Like I said, its complicated

Men are not meant to be monogamous! The male of the species that has achieved full maturity typically has the best genes.  They are therefore supposed to find the most fertile, available young females and have sex with as many as he can to ensure the continuation of the species. It is his duty.  Plus, who can resist some hottie with a tight ass and great tits?

Guys I think we should put ourselves in for the Nobel Humanitarianism Award!!

Vote Pheonix for Pervert!!

I am PheonixRising and I approve of what we do!!!

Hard to get away from political adds, even on TER.  lol

for a while.

I dont think every married man hobbys because he is unhappy.  He
hobbys because he can.  Think about this  Why do men take on a mistress?
My experience is that a mistress relationship is more inclined to be monogomous
and it is still a quid pro quo relationship.

I was monogamous for 30 years and still would be if not for the menopause thing. Things are so much simpler when I'm monogamous!

Are different. I know many managamous men. They just dont hang around here iffin ya catch my drift. Peoples libidos and sexual requirements are all up and down the scale.

tyvm,P.T.

Men CAN be monogomous.  Anything's possible.  I think people make their choices.  I have never been great at staying commited to one person at a time, even before I became a provider, but I've done it.  I don't think it's IMPOSSIBLE to be faithful, but it is human nature to want something other than what you have.  I have had boyfriends and girlfriends who I have been crazy about, but I think the thrill of the chase is what gets me...and probably most of us.  

As far as staying with someone you aren't 100% happy with...haven't we all been there?  Often it's hard to just walk away from anything you've invested time and effort in.

I think the problem is we depend on the other person to "make" us happy.... We are responsible for our own happiness............... I believe that we get out of anything what we put into it.... If a person puts alot into his relationship then I believe he can stay monogomus because if one puts forth the effort I believe his SO will too most of the time... The key is for the him to want to be in that relationship and not because he has to be for the kids, house, retirement, etc...  I am single and got into the hobby after a divorce mainly because I was building a career.. it became my mistress so to speak .I was monogomus then and will be when I find that special lady to be happy with........  In short it is simply a choice.....

If elected I will not serve.
If horny I sure as hell will fuck!

My name is Pheonix and I endorse this ad!

yes, but like many things, only if they choose to be.

It's refreshing to see that people admit that they make decisions based on their own self-interest, as opposed to what's good for others.