I hear stories all the time about providers giving fellas a hard time after they give a reference for them to see another provider. It's always the same story. The girl contacts the fella questioning why are they seeing such and such provider instead of themselves. Even though I hear this story often, somehow I'm still shocked to hear it, it really baffles me that girls do that. I guess I'm curious to know if it's happened to you and if so, how do you feel in regards to it.  

Just curious.  

GK

Thankfully it has only happened to me once & I already knew that the provider was B.S.C. so I wasn't too shocked. Just like everywhere else in life there are many types of personalities and some employment sectors attract more of the eccentric (nice word for damaged, crazy, etc.) than others.
Generally, being a solid citizen pays off in the end and the market corrects itself for the problem children. However, there are many hobbyist that are seeking that edge of uncertainty and are drawn to the more exciting (again, didn't want to say nut job) providers.  
To each their own - as long as everybody knows what they are getting into, that's where blogs & reviews are helpful

if it did she would be on my do not see list. But I know it happens to some from what I hear. Plenty to go around for everyone.Cheers

END OF MESSAGE

The only time this has ever come up for me, it's been kinda cute and funny.  Example: the lady giving the reference has said jokingly to me - "so, you are cheating on me?"  But, she makes it clear that she is kidding and follows up with telling me that she gave me great reference info and even provides details on what she told the lady about me.  

If a lady ever did give me a legit hard time about seeing someone else instead of her, I'm not exactly sure how I would respond, but it would be awkward and make me think twice about a repeat visit.

I have a story (shocker, I know...  lol).  I had a favorite once that I was close to (maybe too close) and I had to stop asking her for references.  

The conversations would always go something like this...

Me: I may need a reference, would you be ok with providing one for me?
Her: Of course babe, who do you want to see?
M: Oh, it's more of a general question - whenever I might need a reference.  But I'm kind of thinking about seeing Miss X (could be anyone) sometime.
H: Oh her...  Why would you want to see her?
M: Mmmm, she's pretty and she seems cool.  And she's got good reviews...  Why?
H: Oh, nothing.  I've just heard some things...  I'd save your money if I were you.
M: So you don't want to provide a reference then?
*Big fight ensues*

So, after a few of those I just stopped asking.  And as you'd expect any discussion of anything about any other girl became extremely awkward.  The mention of girls ads, posts, reviews, or my (attempts at) flirting with them on the boards all became a dance through a minefield.  So we talked very little about hobby related things.

And the answer to your next question should be immediately obvious - the sex was amazing.  Isn't that where the buck always stops?  Literally.  And after our many fights the makeup sex was even better.  Why are the crazy ones always so good in bed?

I had to eventually stop seeing her as she gave me an ultimatum that I see only her - and no one else.  No, I'm not kidding.  And, no she's not in the business anymore so don't ask..

And quite a voluminous typer

Never had it happen.  A couple of my regulars tell me "Variety is the spice of life".  Another regular suggested another lady she thought I would get along good with.  She was right.

Is like a jealous GF.  She simply doesn't like other women; but she's great in the sack, so  I still see her occasionally; I just laughed and told she acts too much like a wife, and she agreed-- but I don't ask her to be a reference.  My other regulars are all great and open about it.

Well, as far as I know she told all the boys the same thing.  So I don't think studliness had anything to do with it.  But I'll consider that as a compliment.

And a voluminous typist?  I plead guilty as charged.

GK,

I have become very private about my hobby activities although posting now implies this may not be as true as I'd like .  I would never use a lady I've seen as a reference.  If the lady I want to see cannot accept the information I am willing to provide then I assume we're not meant to see each other.  Ideally, it should be about the pleasure without the ties but we're all human and that means there as many variations on how this is handled as there are people involved.  

Have fun, be safe and respectful,

Z

I don't know what that is all about.  But I do know it creates enough friction to stop me from seeing the ladies that are pushing for them.

My style of hobbying does not lend itself to having references.  I see a lady once, twice at the most; what can I say, I'm here for the variety of women and sex acts, I definitely do not want a relationship, friendly or otherwise.  I often see agency girls in Toronto, but there you don't need to go through all this bullshit, you just call and they send girl, or have you call back at the incall site, ZERO questions about first and last name, city of birth, favorite childhood pet, street I grew up on, employer, SSN, credit card passcode, etc.  As for the independents I see, they are all through P411, so 95% of the time (and 100% of the time until just this past month), I've never had a request for references.  We don't trade information, and I work hard to make sure that I am extremely forgettable. So who exactly would I ask for a reference?

What's strange is that all of the sudden, just this past month, women are requesting references and extra information.  Aside from the fact that we are in a referral site environment, I can't get a reference from someone who doesn't even remember my hobby handle one month from now.  They don't know me.  I just request an OK in P411 and a whitelist in TER right after the date and move on, those are my credentials.  On top of all of this, there are women who don't reply for references?  So what, I have to have 3-4 regular ladies on constant retainer to get a single reliable reference . . . GFY (not to any specific provider, just a general GFY to all the ladies that ask for too much, and that's not a mean GFY, that's a I'M NOT GONNA DO IT GFY).

I think it's been said many times, but it's SOOOOOOOOOO good and SOOOOOOOO relevant.  I'll beg for sex and I'll pay for sex, BUT I won't FUCKIN beg to pay for sex!  Nor will have have someone vouch that I'll pay for sex.

So reference schmeference!

...then again, I use P411 and it kind of takes this issue out of the equation. I suppose a gal could contact me after the fact and question why I saw so and so, but none have yet.

END OF MESSAGE

Never ran into that one. I have had some real hum-dingers come my way during screening, though. Particularly in the past year or two. In one case a provider's assistant thanked me for my appointment request, sent via a popular screening site. But she wanted all my info. I was determined to make the meeting happen, so I sent all my info. 28 hours later I sent an email asking if she had a decision about my request. Her answer was, "who are you?"

My favorite one was the gal that I gave all my info to, and after thoroughly researching all of it she got back to me and told me she had found out I was a woman! How 'bout that shit!?!? Hell, even I didn't know that! Fooled you too, didn't I?

I've been fortunate to meet so many nice ladies who are willing to lend a good ref for the wand - smile-  

Thanks to them....

I have had like 2 or 3 times where another agency / indy tell me no they give references

Ok, I used a negative example (the exception to the rule) in my previous post without using the positive example to put it into context.  I am an optimist so that doesn't sit well with my nature.

Yes, I've had a few girls over the years that thought it was their role to play the jealous girlfriend.  Usually those relationships don't last long as they tend to fulfill their own prophecies.  As was already pointed out - jealousy isn't a good look for anyone.  And the more you try to control someone the more they try and get away.  If the sex is great (it has to be) we guys may hang around for a bit - but it's definitely not a good long term game plan.

What I wanted to point out is that my experiences with providers - especially here in Atlanta - have been overwhelmingly positive.  The ladies have not only been quick to offer referrals but they sometimes even suggest someone else they think I might hit it off with.  Which may even come back around into a nice doubles session for the referrer.  So, I wanted to say thanks to all the ladies for being so cool and helpful to me (and to all us gents).  It makes this hobby so much easier and more enjoyable.

After all - it's a small, close knit community we participate in.  Hoarding information (and clients) doesn't help anyone in the long run.  And sharing information amongst ourselves not only helps keep us safe but insures the valuable time we do have to spend we spend with someone who truly enjoys our company.

So, please don't take my one example as the rule - it was certainly the exception.  Atlanta is a great hobby town filled with many sexy, cool, and helpful ladies.  And one day I hope to see them all.  Or die trying...

There I am being a voluminous typist again.  

even if she retires

Reminds me of the doobie bros song "what a fool believes"

When it happens I just ignore it and cross them off my repeat list. References are for safety of both parties. It should not offend the lady.  

One thing I learn is that agencies are your best bet for avoiding games like "why are you seeing someone else"? or "Can you co-sign my apartment lease? I prefer not to give my contact info to the lady. I rather have the agency handle the details.

The two best agencies in Atlanta are Exotic Flavors and Gold Club. They don't play games. All I have to do is call them up and they always have a lady for me. They always send someone within 3 hours.

There is several high quality indys out there that don't play games too. I would see more but it is hard to plan three days out with the job I have.

I have had something similar happen. I asked if provider x would be willing to give a referral if needed and she said she would be more than happy to. I even called to give her a heads up when I knew a screening call would be going through. The provider doing the screening said that when provider x was contacted to give a referral she immediately hung up and ceased to answer the phone. Another provider I tried said that provider x was known to refuse to provide references. I have learned my lesson and am trying to move on. I know I now have one good reference and I am going from there. It wouldn't have been a big deal if she had just out and out said she did not provide references, but the fact that she said multiple times that it was not a problem is bothersome. But you live and learn.

END OF MESSAGE

and certainly they did give the reference. But... a few have definitely left me with the impression that they would rather I had seen them - more of a "disappointed" vibe? I think some guys might react to that a bit more strongly than is really warranted.

Honestly, I love to repeat with gals I "click" with, but I find that it is easier for me to help maintain mutual boundaries if I am not a weekly regular. Not to mention that the excitement of meeting someone new IS fun!

I wonder if some of the guys don't in turn see a new rave review for their absolutely favorite gal and feel a little twinge as well. Or get a PM asking about her from someone who wants to see her. I suppose being a human being with feelings works both ways and sometimes is just natural.

To me, it's all about mutual respect and helping one another because we DO like each other; not projecting some passive-aggressive possessiveness or selfishness into the process.  

Just me $0.0

Well, I suppose that's up for debate.  But thank you for the vote of confidence, I appreciate it.

I gave a regular a reference to a very good friend of mine that is coming into the area. I teased them both about leaving me high and dry for that week, I mean couldn't I be invited for the 3 some?

Like I give a crap. If a guy wants to see others, he will. If you are shitty as a reference he just won't see you anymore. So there is nothing good that comes out of being a bad reference.  

All a gal can do is treat him well and let him make up his mind on seeing you again.

Hey BeaUTiFuLLL!!!!!!!!

It happened to me, in ATL, by a well known Provider.,,,,,,, She decided to tell me I shouldn't be seeing "skanks", and se can tell me who the good ones are... Also, The same provider "begged" me to write a 10/10 on TER.

(Personally, I think I've met GREAT Providers, in ATL!!!!!) Know what I mean!!!!

END OF MESSAGE