It takes all of us to keep each other safe as a hobby community. Guys, I am sure that you all have helped a new gentleman from time to time find safe, reliable and cheerful providers with whom he is sure to have a great time. I am sure that the men of TER at some point have schooled one another on the importance of verifying that a lady is whom she states BEFORE taking precious hours out of your day to drive to wherever she is located only to be disappointed or worse--have something frightening or tragic happen. The same applies to the ladies.

I'm terribly sorry that you have had this experience, Shay, but don't let it get you down. Many of the ladies and guys in Atlanta are wonderful to work and play with and there are a great many ladies who will promptly provide reference information without giving you grief. Sad that this has happened to you when you haven't done anything to anyone! Heck most providers have never even met you to even warrant such behavior (FYI: I can attest that Shay is sweet as Southern iced tea, Guys!)

Shay, as someone lucky enough to call you a friend I am not just saddened this happened to you: I am irate. References are a huge part of what keeps us safe. There is absolutely no reason not to give a verifiable provider a reference. I do not care if it is for a regular client who has seen you every Tuesday at 3pm for the past 5 years, or a provider you do not care for. PETTY FEELINGS ARE NOT WORTH SOMEONE GETTING HURT OR KILLED!  

This seems like a dangerous person.  There are unspoken rules in this business and we should adhere to them. Bravo ladies for speaking your minds!

I am so very sorry Shay! I am more than happy to give you references anytime you need one AND as Alex said, MANY wonderful ladies here in Atlanta that won't give you any shit for a reference! References are absolutely for everyone's safety involved. Now I won't give one to just anyone asking (only verifiable ladies) hell there are some I am just not reference friendly with period but THEY KNOW why! Just to turn down a reference request for no reason at all is not good business.
Shay, keep your chin up and your head held high you have a lot of support here!
Xoxo,
TL

This occurs on occasion due to what I call the 'He's my client scenario'. In this scenario, a client sees Lady A a couple times and Lady A is pleased that she has found another regular. Now the client wants to see Lady B and Lady B asks Lady A for a reference. Lady A, if she is not particularly reference-friendly, due to jealousy, bad blood, or other factors may react in one of two ways:

Sad Really

Smh...that's terribly sad to hear but you are 100% right that it does exist. Ladies, these guys see EVERYONE (sorry...guys but you know it to be true) so why not give a reference? We all engage in this hobby in part because of the variety. Ownership is not a thing in this community, folks!

I have responded to everyone that has asked me for a reference because it is the right thing to do for US and for the Clients as well, they deserve to be treated well for what they have given to me and I will not hold out on them.  Many of you TL, Ginger, Corey, Terri, Ilona, Leslie,  Sunny, Kendall, SEC, GCE and quite a few others have been generous and kind to me by prompt courteous and helpful replies and I am so thankful for their assistance, kindness and thoughtfulness.  There have been some who have been a little delayed but always with an explanation, illness, family, travel and SPAM Filters and I get it and I understand because we all have had or will have some of these issues at some time or another, "there but for the Grace of God goes me". And I always thank everyone for their graciousness, deservedly.

Please, please...we have GOT be kind to each other...  
Thank you, Shay, for posting this.
Recently, I've had the unfortunate experience of a provider giving me grief when requesting a reference for a client. It truly makes my heart sink when I think about how some providers refuse to contribute to the SAFETY of our community by not adhering to the simple unwritten rule of "let's play together, well together".  I've experienced providers bashing potential clients and straight-up lying about them for their own gain, at the detriment of others.  
What goes around, comes around. The end, point blank.
No one will ever catch me behaving this way!  It simply isn't worth the negative domino effect..
Thank you again, Shay, for bringing it up..

First, let me just say that I am reference friendly. I try to respond to a reference request as timely as I can. This is because I rely on references as part of my screening, but not all providers do. There are providers who do not ask for nor give references. That's their prerogative. Who am I to shame them for running their business differently than I choose to run mine? References are not required of anyone, they are a courtesy. No one ever got hurt because someone didn't give a reference...maybe because someone didn't do their due diligence, but not because a reference wasn't given.  

It's one thing if you've never been reference friendly, but to pick and choose who you give references to is another thing.  Bad Bad Bad.

Of course references are a courtesy, but so is the title Mr President. It's still considered a mark of high disrespect to not address the president by his title. If you do not ask for references it is within your right not to give them. It's up to Shay to confirm if she wishes to do so, but what I inferred from her post was this is a known provider who participates in reference culture. If that is indeed the case that provider acted in poor service of the community that she has likely benefited from. If you use references as part of your screening process, you should be willing to provide references to providers who are trying to keep themselves safe. Again what we are talking about here is physical safety, the list of reasons to not give someone a reference is short and do not seem to have applied here.

Really, there is one provider on this thread that has stated that they aren't reference friendly to just anyone. That would be me. Wtf are you saying Caylee?  Yeah, you're definitely the devils advocate. This woman, Shay, has NEVER met this person and this person claims to never strong arm anything. Strong arming is exactly what THIS is dear. Good grief! You all should just grow the fuck up an realize these guys WILL fuck other ladies.  
Honestly Shay, just know that not all ladies will do that shit and I know you will rise above this
Looking forward to seeing you very soon Ms. Shay!  
Fuck the haters really love.  
XOXO,  
TL

-- Modified on 4/6/2016 11:00:03 PM

...there's more than one on this thread, and if you read my post, you would have noticed that I said "we're not bashing them."  

I never said anything or everything was all about me lol but if you only knew anything about what's going on you'd probably just refrain from being a devil's advocate.  This is strong arming at it's best dear. Something that does NOT work well for me nor any other lady in this thread.  I am definitely reference friendly and I've help a fuck ton of ladles make a lot of money. Including you it's always been my pleasure to help out a fellow provider really but this shit isn't high school. This is SAFETY and let's get really real here. Shay has NEVER done anything to ANYONE so why be so "provider friendly" yet single her out? Yeah, this kind of stuff needs to stop. This isn't just a case of "I'm not reference friendly" this is just plain out uncalled for.  
At the end of the day, when a lady refuses to give a lady a reference for him seeing another provider whom that lady has never even met just because he's not seeing her OR the lady has a problem with her associates is just stupid and bad form IMO.  
Ladies if you're going to take references then give them. If you don't want to then at least know why lol  
Peace out.
Xoxo xoxo xoxo,  
TL

First and foremost, Shay I am so sorry that you went through this ordeal. Please stay strong and encourage because you are a really good provider. Just consider this a bump into your path that you have to cross over and an experience that you shouldn't have to bear but bearing it bravely.

I know that Shay has a great soul who desire to be a friend than a foe. We as a community have to protect each other. There are so many things going on in this environment that we all would suffer. There are so much division from one another and it's sad. If we always operate in rift or division, then we will always be threatened by each other

Having the conviction of NOT PROVIDING REFERENCES would be a business/personal decision and though many may feel otherwise that would be just fine.  We all run the UGLY business side of our business differently as we are all different however, such being the case a simple "I do not provide references sweetie, I'm sorry" or "because of __________ I cannot provide you with a reference" would both be acceptable and understandable, no harm/no foul.  All I know of Shay is what I have seen here and that is a well spoken, thoughtful, woman who seems gracious.............suzee
 

Actually I find it very difficult to believe you and every other provider haven't experienced this many many times preciously.

I recently visited Atlanta. Booked 3 different girls over two nights. The first night, everything went great. Exactly as we all want it. Great time.  I also confirmed the 2nd night multiple times, with both the other two women, the time and location,  with one even texted again when I landed and she replied, see you tomorrow night. The next night, when sending out text to again confirm meeting place, both girls said they had made other plans...because they didn't hear from me again (like, for the nth time), even though the plans had been set days before and confirmed the evening before. I always believe in 24 hours notice, both ways. However, from experience, girls also don't show up. Yes,  I booked 3 girls, saw one and, what do you say about the two who didn't show up the next night? One is local, the other was visiting, both with very high (9's) reviews numbers. I had planned for one to possibly cancel. But both, that's just not right. But, I accept it and, didn't raise any negative vibes. I was more understanding about the girl visiting, needing to cover her costs, but the local girl, who confirmed the night before, the 24 hour rule...she was dead wrong.

There is no excuse but some ladies just don't give references. You never have to dig deep or tell any secrets.  

It's not a "stop the presses event", it's a public callout to the provider who didn't give a reference.

happens often and, if you ask Lady A more than once, you get a GFY response.

I thought the same thing!