that I enjoy usually comes over time, but not through questioning.  It is a sharing when the comfort levels have been established, not a foundation for the comfort level.

To talk about pleasant subjects, or other interests, is always nice.

Some gals start right in with drama however, and that is putting too much pressure on a new relationship.

Maybe if the relationship matures, then some more substanital issues could be discusses, but it's best to tread lightly.

I "Just talked" through an entire hour session!

I'm single (divorced), so I'm pretty open about things.  This was my second date with a very mature for her age 27-year old.  I enjoyed her company so much that after we got naked and laid on the bed talking, I lost all track of time,and so did she.  She had to hustle me out because I stayed too long, but she insisted I take half my donation back before I left (yes guys, I told her to keep it but she insisted).  

But to answer the question the way you intended, I think it has the potential to be a mood breaker in the beginning, but it depends on your circumstances.  Some guys are seeing providers to escape reality and others aren't.  I think if I were still married, I wouldn't want to be discussing my personal life very much.  And as my experience above showed, it can keep you from your main objective if you let it.

There's no question, however, that getting to know each other better over the course of several visits can enhance the experience, and it's one of the reasons I like to become a regular when I find someone I really like.  But then, I've never been one for one-night stands or anonymous fucks.

With the wedding ring post it got me to thinking LOL Yes, this blonde uses her brain once in a while but likes the lighter side of things more than often. Another topic

Gentlemen, at what point if ever are you comfortable talking about you private life "home, relationship to be clear". Is this a turn off if brought up by a lady when you first meet her? Would this ruin some of the mood if asked in the minutes following your first embrace. " Oh, how I hate small talk in the beginning of a first meeting " It's easy to break the mood. Just give me your tongue. Do you confide things to a lady you normally wouldn't talk about ? Some men never complain about things they feel they just can't change but it is the same with women.

Ladies this is a tough one....If at all, are you honest when a man wants input even if you know it might not be what the gentlemen wants to hear. God that's a tough one, being put with mouth open and have to shove your foot in it. I'm sure we have all been put in that position before. I'll save my answer to later since I worked so hard writing this post.

Kisses Haley

Its Nice to have so many people on this board with whom I agree and who can express themselves so succinctly yet articulately. I have no problem sharing the fact that I am married and that I love my wife and our family once a comfort level has been achieved.

I really relish getting to know any provider I'm with and have found that being able to share my personal life can be freeing. I have one very favorite provider who has touched me deeply and encouraged me to share feelings I wasn't fully aware of and i treasure her friendship. I enjoy learning about the lives of providers I've been with and admire the curiousity, courage, intelligence, compassion, strength in face of adversity that many have. It adds another level to the relationship and communications. I do find that kind of intimacy usually takes a little time, first meetings are often a feeling out process on many levels.

-- Modified on 1/10/2012 12:29:09 PM

especially if I may not see them again. But over time, if I can comfortable with a lady, I'll feel more at ease about discussing personal issues. No names are ever mentioned, only generalities.

I dont mind the chat cause on a first encounter it eases the nervousness.  I dont like a lot of very personal questions.  Some want to get into my work, and I dont want to think of that with her sitting there.  Family question can also make thing ackward on the first date.

Now talk about my hobbies, or something like that is great.  

I find that since I frequent the boards talk seems to gravitate to the common board talk.  Some providers make an error saying "oh so and so is such a bitch"  does she know I like so and so?  Now as long as the talk is polite and pleasant its very cool.  Why some wants to know how was such and such lady was that she knows you met is beyond me.  But I hear that also.  

I would simply advise, keep the drama out of the date.  Lets talk about you. lol

What I'm reading so far goes right along with what I think. I want a connection but that comes as we meet beyond the 1st time. The comfort and the trust grows. I will share personal stuff and I want to hear about the lady's life. None of this on the first meeting though. Like another poster said first time keep it to hobbies (not the hobby LOL) weather, sports, news, traffic, etc. I don't want to talk about other providers either. Unless it's positive. Don't ask me about a session with another provider though. Even when sharing though I don't give names and places. If I ask where are you from, the name of the state is sufficient. There are a few providers that I have been more specific with but that came long after we had met.

I'm single, divorced, and I enjoy talking to others. I can relate to your talking the whole time. I haven't done it but it would be so easy to do. I have lost track of time once or twice and suddenly realized that we were running out of time. It's fine I had a great time. I'm not  a one night stand guy either.

It must be a function of our age and maturity.  I bet that the answers would be very different if the same question were to be answered by a bunch of 20-30 year old guys. LOL

I ask the provider to fill out... some basic information:
Real name; name of employer, immediate supervisor's contact information, social security number, references from three hobbyists, home phone number, cell phone number, email account and as an option a bank account routing #

Once I have this information I feel I can have a meaningful conversation.

So far it has met with some resistance lol...

For me I prefer to keep the personal stuff to a minimum. All that can be revealed on later dates. I can usually find plenty of things we can talk about of a non personal nature on a first date.

have no problem talking about my occupation, hobbies, the biz, or whatever--except politics. I have never lied to a lady but if there is a question I am uncomfortable in answering, I will not respond except with a question for the lady.

Got to keep the fantasy alive--too much real talk might try to snuff the candle.

So far I haven't had to evade any question.  Maybe I've just been fortunate in my choices of ladies.

You know it's really no different than any other relationship - personal, romantic, business, friends, etc. Every relationship begins with a reason to be together and each person tries out the other for compatability, trust, shared experiences or views or interests, and so on. It's the same in this realm. I don't really open up the entire book on the 1st date; however there are a few women I have seen many times and I have become very comfortable in sharing real stuff with them. And I believe they feel the same in reverse. It's all about the trust and respect - just like every other relationship in life.