Today I took the survey Fisher asked about. One odd question was whether I had ever had a provider say it was OK to omit condoms for particular activities. My experience (not a lot, less than two dozen over the past 14 years) has been that the unspoken expectation has been that condoms were required for penis in vagina or anal sex or for genital on genital rubbing, but not required for anything else unless specifically requested by either party. Only one provider wanted to use a condom for fellatio, said so rather apologetically, and I didn't complain. (One other had the odd technique of sucking for three or four strokes and daubing the end of my cock with kleenex to dry up any pre-cum. Whether she thought that was a safety method or was just to avoid the taste, I didn't ask.) For all the others, bare fellatio and cunnilingus was engaged in without express verbal pre-approval.
Do these default assumptions/behaviors match your experience generally?
Of course, there have been the rare exceptions. On my second provider experience in the late 80's, after covered intercourse the provider and I were talking and cuddling face to face. After a while, Mr. Happy rose again and found himself at the entrance to her vagina. Both of us moved just a little over a minute or two so that the head was lodged just between her labia, and she was wet so that any thrusting by either of us would have put me into her. After a minute or so in that position I suggested I put on another cover and she agreed. Since that was so early in my hobby experience I wondered how common that was. Over the ensuing years as I read more on this board and elsewhere I understood how frowned upon bareback is generally in the escort world.
The other unusual borderline safety breach was by a well regarded, long term provider in my area, and it happened in my first visit to her. In all other areas she seemed well-prepared and professional and in later sessions this particular action was not repeated. After conventional foreplay of hands on each other I began DATY and she responded as expected--evident signs of her arousal, including ample lubrication and a seeming orgasm. She then put me on my back, performed some uncovered fellatio (not unusual as I said above) and then straddled my hips. She then began the most exquisite slide of her wet pussy on the bottom side of my erection, pinning it to my abdomen and sliding up and down. I really had the sense that if I tipped my pelvis at the right moment my cock would have slipped into her. I didn't do it, partly out of a sense for my own safety, but more because I didn't want to incur her wrath for trying to fuck her bareback. I wanted to see her again and I didn't want her to effectively ban me in my local area by issuing a blackball notice on the boards. I also didn't want her to kick my ass, which she was and is quite capable of doing. The slide continued for a minute or two before we put on a cover and did the deed. BTW this is not any of the providers I have reviewed on this board, so I am not outing anyone. I've seen her two more times and the behavior was not repeated. I concluded she really was in control and could have prevented insertion, or at least stopped everything before it went beyond one plunge.
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