"If both parties are not free... don't start down that road."

The biggest heartbreak of my life was exactly 30 years ago, and it all could have been avoided if I'd followed that simple bit of advice.  The experience messed me up for years.

Ironically, we still keep in touch almost daily by email, but it's now she who is married.  We're just friends and no longer say or do anything to send mixed messages.  No more signing off with hugs, or love etc.  No more suggestions about getting together.
It's nice just to have an old friend to share things with, so we're leaving it at that, and that's just fine with me.

You can't turn back the clock 30 years and recapture the past, and I know it would be a mistake to try.

She admits to being "a lonely old lady" (70)...   30 years past the hot affair...   She has sent me her address & phone number...  a few hundred miles away.  I have not seen her in person nor talked to her on the phone.  I have tried to tell her I want to keep this a friendship.  It is now me that is married (she does not know about my little hobby) and "does not want to wreck my marriage".
Still there are hints...  wants to hear my voice, feel my touch...  and closing with the urban number codes for I Love You.  
Just from the emails...  I feel the attraction is still there.  My sense is that if we were together, the affair would go right back to where we broke it off (because SHE was married & went back to him).  Really the affair was mostly a year but then we were on & off again for about 4 more years.  

I am having trouble pacing my replies to her messages...   Baring some unforseen tragity, I am not available & not going to be.  Perhaps that is the lesson I painfully learned from our previous affair...   If both parties are not free...  don't start down that road.  

The previous thread...  
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewall.asp?MessageID=2982&boardID=64&page=8#2982

I assume you are soliciting comments on this.  Mine is, tell her you are happily married and say good bYe.  You are fine, I think.  Don't risk your marriage over a 70 year old woman.

The funny thing about regret is that it can be worse to regret something that you didn't do more than something you did.

Also, a famous quote from Oscar Wilde seems very apt:

The best way to remove temptation, is to give in to it.

Sorry to be the contrarian here, but that's the way I am sometimes.

Yes, I posted to get thoughts.
Age is not the impediment as virtually the same age as my wife.  I am over 60 with a disability.   I have asked to keep this a friendship only.   I just realized the corner I am painted into...  I am not going to even email Happy Valentines.  It will hurt her but I'm NOT.  

I don't want to hurt her but do not know how else to get the point accross.
H

You're absolutely correct! Do NOT send a Valentine because that would be sending mixed messages. Good luck, darlin!!

We both know I'm currently the married one.   To exchange messages just stirs the emotional pot needlessly.   I made the excuse "Nothing to talk about"...  am going to wind this down.  We will both be happier for it.   She said she had to get her head on straight because of the regrets from long ago.   Winding it down is the right thing to do.
It "ought to be alright" to just keep in touch occasionally...   but it's up to me to enforce it.  
H