i no longer make dates with someone i haven't met before, usually @ meet & greets.
There is always sort of a dance before the first date. Two strangers, both having legitimate fears, trying to get a sense of comfort before what is, despite the envelope, an intimacy that makes each one vulnerable. Phone calls, emails, screening, etc. make up this gavotte. Each of us wants to ensure that it is not an hour of suffered endurance or worse.
There is a sense of being a sophomore in high school gathering up the courage to ask the pretty girl for a date. Oh, how we sweated out gathering up the courage to ask.
At times I still get nervous when meeting a gent for the first time.I have found the farther out that a gent has booked an appointment gives more time to communicate.I do not mind speaking with a gent prior to meeting for a first time.I feel it is a icebreaker of sorts and when you finally meet it is like meeting a old friend versus trying to get over nervousness.
Great post.
Bulls eye, spot on, I am always hesitant about first dates that have not broken the ice by the many different means of communication. It is vital in my opinion. I often make advance dates for multi hours and nothing upsets me more than a provider thinking your trying to waste her time and will not talk with you more than the day before.
I always have a much better time and often repeat with a provider who understands how important communication is.
I can't imagine trying to get comfy with a lady on the first date and have a great time all in a hour.
Great post.
i no longer make dates with someone i haven't met before, usually @ meet & greets.
after that first kiss..all of that nervousness and anxiety disappear..trepidation is replaced by pleasure..thats what its all about..thats why we do what we do..
-- Modified on 4/27/2012 4:50:47 PM
with a new gal before I meet her.
I think it really helps when we finally meet in the flesh.
I am appreciative of those women who are willing to invest in relationship building. In my relatively short time in the hobby, i have discoverd that for me at least, that small investment has always paid big dividends - in the best dates I have had. I'm still a bit nervous when I walk in the door for the first time but I am so much more at ease having communicated a bit and having heard your voice. It's as if the excitement begins to build even before the first hug, kiss and look at your body.
I am also a service provider of sorts and have found the same thing to be true from the perspective of the provider, when I invest in the relationship, the connection with the client is stronger and the service I render generally more satisfying.
My .02 cents.
have had only an email exchange or two and no conversation whatsoever. I've also had great dates with extensive communication both email and phone. You just never know how it's going to turn out. I don't always need a connection, sometimes I just want to get laid.
Been seeing ladies for about 6 months....then found a new lady, who called me a few days before our date. It automatically made things seem special. Made ME seem special. And the date was an extension of the little extra she put into it.
I've always been impressed with those ladies who try to create a personal connection before a first date.
What frustrates me, however, is before the 2nd and 3rd. The uniqueness and extra attention you receive before date #1 somehow disappears. Kinda puts you back in your place a bit.
That said.....what would REALLY impress me is a lady who does this each time. After all...we still pay the same rate, don't we? It would be nice to be appreciated as much on the subsequent dates as the first.
Just sayin......