My hanging out with my 70+ year old guy. He kept saying that I intimidate him and we never got around to intercourse but we had lots of fun together. Every time we went out we got stares including mean ones but I never cared. He was cool to hang out with. My mom has begged me for years to go with someone my age range. I always so I do yet find myself going with someone way older than I am. This is a new year so a new game plan. I will hang out with someone in his 40's and put a smile on mom's face lol. I did almost answer two ads for guys in their 60's smh and one in his 70's smh again but I will try I mean go for younger this time. Why would a guy so much older be intimidated??? I never made demands on him in any way and our times together were fun! So what was it? I always wore sexy dresses and tall heels when we went out. That's me being me! Always coiffed and styled! Why would I not look my best for my friend? I did have a guy try to get my number when we were out together! I told him I am with someone!  

It lasted a few months but it is over. I broke it off. He acted afraid and kept telling me he liked me a whole lot and then would get evasive about seeing me then he's be fine a few days later. I didn't want any more babies so that wasn't the issue! I told him I can be patient with him if he has "issues" with his friend at his age. He had been married a long time and his wife passed, I think 42 years or something. He always was saying I like you a lot. Telling his friends about me. I really like you. I really like you a lot but he was being strange. I couldn't take it. Old guys, give me your opinion! What happened??

-- Modified on 1/21/2017 9:57:36 PM

I really can't say exactly why he was being so flaky, except that I don't think it's an age thing at all.  Perhaps he has unresolved issues about being with or being seen with an AA woman?  Is he a white guy?  Whatever his issues really are, it's his problem not yours.  Sounds like you were amazingly patient with him and affectionate.  We older guys tend to really enjoy the attention and affection of a younger woman.  Don't give up on us because one guy was a dud!

and we'll never know for sure, especially from such a brief description.

Don't see someone on account of making your parents happy.  See someone that makes you happy.

No he had been in a relationship with a black woman before. He was in the military so he told me that he had all types lol!

Thanks guys for your advice. I have been told before by a guy that I intimidate him but he was referring to my height. I am about 6'3 in heels and he was aobut 5'5 lol. I always wear heels. I love them.

If it's an issue about you being taller than him, then that's his problem not yours.  If he has issues with taller ladies, he should be seeking out providers his own height or shorter.  So, I wouldn't let his hang-ups dictate the clientele you choose to see.  You should do whatever makes you happy, since life is too short to let other rule your life.

By the way, I'm rather short myself, but I have no problems when a provider is taller than me.  In fact, many of the providers that I've seen tower over when they wear heels ...LOL.

I am 58 and I have an 18 year old black SB that goes out with me in public all the time. AND we don't get "mean stares" personally I am not the type of guy that will put up with mean stares or snarky remarks. Actually I got a huge ego boost when we the Vietnamese woman asked us if we were BF/GF at the nail salon.  

As others have said, there could be a hundred reasons, but you say you were NEVER intimate, do you know if he is actually functional "down there", that could be the reason.

Does he have financial problems and is too intimidated by it to tell you?

We tried a few times and it didn't happen. He said he uses an herbal supplement. He would get a little hard but not full on intercourse. It wasn't that I didn't try! I did tell him no hurries or rush. We would snuggle and cuddle in bed and it would go a bit but he told me that he could not afford the cialis. It was $300 a month! He said he would try to get it soon. I think he felt he should not be with me since he couldn't get a full on erection. When it came to that and it didn't work out that is when he would get funny acting. I was looking for advice from guys in about the same age range. Thanks so much.

I knew he didn't have a lot of money. We had many common interests, likes and even our jobs are similar (my outside job). We talked for hours and hours on the phone and when we went out. It was fine that we went to local places. Like I said, there were no demands on him.

The Ol' Boy can't get it up-that is intimidating............Gambler hit it squarely-you seconded it.....It's over  !!  

END OF MESSAGE

... but that's partly just me and my melancholy nature, and my own recent troubles ...

I can't add too much to what others have said. But as you asked for old guys' opinion, and I definitely qualify, I'll say to this question:

"Why would a guy so much older be intimidated???"

There can be all kinds of reasons. If he's having erection problems, your willingness to be patient is great, but sometimes we guys can't accept that or are afraid to believe it, or are too wrapped up in our own anxiety and misery about the issue to take in that our partner cares for us and enjoys us nonetheless.

Or his being so much older could be part of it. Like, "Surely she can't really be interested in me, I'm so old." "A younger, better-looking guy will catch her eye, and that will be that." "I'm not in bad shape now, but will she still like hanging out with me if I start falling apart?"

Things like that.

[Edited to add:]  And any of these issues could be magnified, in his mind, by your being a provider and having--again, in his mind--such a wide range of experience with so many other men to compare him to. I can well imagine that it wasn't like that for you at all, but the fears and doubts that come to a guy, young or old, when he's feeling uncertain and vulnerable are not easily overcome by reason or reassurance.

We get old, hopefully we get a little stronger, a little wiser, a little more comfortable in our own skin. But we don't stop being the person we were when we were younger, and that sometimes means some of the same insecurities of youth or even childhood hang on to bedevil us.

I wish, for your sake and his, that he could have gotten over whatever it was. (And yeah, more selfishly I hope for my own sake that if I'm ever lucky enough again to be in his situation, I'll be able to keep my bearings and hold on to a good thing.) But that was his issue, not yours, whatever it was. It sounds to me as if you did all you could.

-- Modified on 1/24/2017 1:33:08 PM

He said that all of the time! He would mention the age difference! He would talk about how he was surprised that I was interested in him with him being so much older. He was on a fixed income. He would say I know you need someone to take care of you. I would assure him every time I liked him and if I didn't I would not be there. It did get to a point that I would not say anything when he brought it up. I mean how often would I need to tell him?? It got tiring but it's true. I will not be with someone that I do not want to be with! I would hear from him every day for months so it's strange not getting the emails, texts and seeing him but I will be fine. I just hope that he is! Thanks for your reply.

I've discovered that women are all the same height when lying down, lol.

with an SD who was in his 50s. He lied at first about his age - maybe 4 or so years off. And I told him I don't mind cause I really don't. I'm comfortable with an older man and that's what I was used to.

 I liked spending time with him and I would tell him he was cute when he did this or I liked him because of that. And we had great physical chemistry as well. But he just couldn't take a compliment. He didn't believe someone my age could truly like someone his age and ended things my ghosting on me. I think he was afraid I would hurt him so he left me before things went on.  

Oh well. I guess it's insecurities about the age gap.

Silly

I'm teasing of course.  It sounds like she was really into him.